Shitting In My Pants

met a fortune teller today. at my parents friends bbq. that guy scared the shit out of me. out of all the youngsters sitting at the table, he suddenly looked at me and he has a eyes that sees right through ur soul. piercing, knowing and utterly frightening. out of the blue, he told me in hokkien " women are trouble in ur life. stop talking to so many of them and u'll be happier." (translated of course). and this was outta the blue mind u. like a bat out of hell, and it just left me dumbstruck. and if that wasnt the end of it, he continued by saying u've got a gal in mind just hang on to it and u'll be happy. i swear i almost choked on the sausage i was eating. to make matters worst, the whole table(which consisted of abt 20 or so pple) just got quiet. me being me laughed it off and smiled at everybody. but like a tsunami that builds up momentum before it hits the shore, he continued, relentless. this time telling me abt my past. it struck me. i was left speechless. and all eyes were on me. i was striped naked. nothing to say nothing to do for my defense expect smile. i swear it was incredible. to make matters worst, one of the guests there is a close friend of one of my NOT SO MANY exs and she just looked at me with eyes that said "i know what u did last semester...". i cld have just bowed down and cried.

thoughts were flashing through my mind faster than a thunderbolt, more numerous than the stars in the sky. wat struck me the most was, how in the whole damn fucking world does this guy know so much about me. hell even my parents do not know abt some of the things he mentioned. of course he was cryptic and indirect but u do know when some one is trying to make a point. u ought to understand this unless ur really dumb. and i mean like u have an iq that is less than 30... what in the world am i doing with my life. or is he such a good reader of pple that he can somehow see things about a person? is that even possible... fuck.

upon more conversation, me in slow and halting english to get him to understand me, while him in slow and halting hokkien for the same desired effect i found out he used to be a monk from thailand... faint and die. how much is bull and how much is truth, i believe it differs from individual to individual. but wat the hell. i'm scared shitless. doesnt he know that pple arent meant to know the future of some pple just do not want to know. for better or worst, PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE. buti endured his on and off intrusions into my private life. god save the adrian.

what struck me the most was his pinpoint discrimination of ME. everything was ME ME ME AND ME. do i attract so much attention. i was at the table with my mom and my side ON EACH SIDE OF ME. i wasnt talking to any of the gals around my age there or the guys for that matter cause they just looked boring and they weren't exactly mr/miss friendly or keep the conversation flowing. but yeah back to the point, he said he can sense an aura abt me that relates to gal problems... like wat, there's this Ying qi around me. fuck. fuck and fuck.

if u can look into the sands of time and tell which grain will grow and which will whither, pray thee, can u look into the souls of men and see which will rise and which will fall into oblivion. (macbeth, not exact but something along that line) he scared me.

i'm not sure wat is it that unsettles me so. but i'm scared. speechless. senseless. balless.