Blurred

checking how to go to my camp and i saw this...



like how is THAT going to help...

Going back reservist from 29 of may to the 10 of june

pray my weight loss campaign that has come to a halt and even reversal i might add reverses once again.

everyday outfield perhaps! (for my office dicks)

and saturday if ur going clubbing better call me...

7 Continents

By, " oh! maybe they're refering to the 7 continents!"

me, " ireland is NOT a continent..."

I am the "GOLDEN ONE"

how to persuade someone to go clubbing after work.

mina, "aye, go clubbing tmr if we end early?"

person who doesnt want to go, "huh, dun want lah, i 1 year never go clubbing liao."

mina, " aiyah then go lah! then next 1 year u no need to go again!"



mina, " aye so person who doesnt want to go, go lah! even torpedo is going..."

person who doesnt want to go, " torpedo going meh?"

torpedo, " erm... dunno leh, i'll only go if you go."

person who doesnt want to go, " okay, then i'll only go if torpedo is going."

torpedo, "okay, then i'm going!"



meanwhile, dumb poly student has been given a code name. he's now called golden boy. because he's the "special one" as jose mourinho calls himself. plus the fact that he loves to go to the golden cafe to pick up orders...

the golden boy has also promoted himself to become the F&B manager. which means he doesnt do anything except go out to buy food. we figured it's beacuse he's too dumb to help out in the office. now we know our bosses don't want him in the office.

big boss, " okay who's free"

everyone was busy except the golden one...

gay sounding boss," golden one is free. ask him to help lah..."

big boss pauses and ignores comment.

golden one, " yah i'm free. i'm very free."

big boss ignores again...

after golden one is gone.

gay sounding boss, " aiyah when u dun want to ask golden one to help u? he's so free...."

big boss," golden one makes me very....... very..... VERY confused."



big boss, " who wants to stay back to help yt?"

silence as everyone wants to go back...

golden boy, " i can stay till 10 if u want."

big boss ignores... pauses and asks, " so who can stay back to help yt?"

golden boy, oblivious to the fact that he's not wanted... " i can stay!"

big boss, " erm i think yt doesnt need help. u can all go home..."

Mother of all arguments

my parents are having the mother of all arguements over a stupid mother's day dispute over whose mother to bring out... i say bring them all if it makes u happy.

from the driveway to the kitchen, from the masterbedroom to my room, an iron curtain has descended upon 94 binchang rise. how i envy my sister whose husband is going to return from shanghai soon and then she can go home and not see anymore of this.

and for once i'm glad i'm going for reservist. at least that way i'll be out of the cross fire.

the worst wars are cold wars. if i ever have a war, i'll make sure it's hot, fiery and utterly consuming.

i hope i work the whole week next week. shit, i would be if i didnt try to be smart and change my shifts to the night shift... dammit. 2 more days or 18 hrs to be exact and i would have worked 160 hrs. qualify for bonus 4 TIMES.

Do not take the lift with a stranger

In an attempt to promote the "kampong" spirit and increase comaradarie among neighbours, the police has launched a series of adds. among them is one where a man (presumably a stranger) is standing inside a lift beckoning a little girl to join him. in the backdrop, his shadow is a silhouette of a wolf.

possible senario would be a mother coming home after work at 7pm and saw her kid loittering at the void deck.

" ah girl! why are u sitting at the void deck doing ur home work?"

"i couldnt take the lift up alone. and since i didnt know anyone else, anyone who got into the lift with me was a stranger."

a boy is late for school and the teacher asks him why.

" i couldnt enter the lift WITHOUT a stranger. so i waited till i could take the lift alone..."

and perhaps besides building lifts that stop on every floor, the govt should build more lifts. so people can take them alone.

BULLOCKS!

i've been busy the whole morning. running around delievering documents, collecting documents, buying lunch, 3 times for the damn people who forgot to order or weren't around. what the flaming balls.

and meanwhile what does the receptionist do?

ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY N-O-T-H-I-N-G except sit there and look pretty. and forget to stamp my taxi voucher resulting in me having to use my own money.

i dun understand, we get the same the same pay BUT SHE DOES NOTHING. she isnt even concerned about people catching her surfing the net. like WTF WTF. all she has to do is pick up the phone and go," hello good (time of the day), thank you for calling XXXXXX." and subsequently transfer the call. but she cant do anything else! BALLS.

being a recept is seriously the toughest job i can imagine. i'm sure it's difficult, 1st, u have to look pretty. which is difficult with most gals but being pretty is not a pre-requisit. there are ugly ones. u just have to go to enough offices. 2, it's soooo difficult to entertain urself for 8 hours everyday. seriously. u have to be sufficiently S-T-U-P-I-D to sit there for 8 hours and answer phone calls.

i wonder why people wanna become receptionist. totally 0 value add.




yesterday i was asked to count the number of lines of chinese characters in a pdf file. fine. i opened the file and it was TWENTY SIX pages long. balls. there were varying font sizes so i couldn't count the number on 1 page and do the math. since it was in pdf i couldnt edit it...

so i did the next most logical thing.

ESTIMATION

"aye boss, do u need it to be exact?"

"DUH..." - in the long draw out slur, the way gays go HEEELLLLOOOOOoooooo.

plan 1 failed.

i did the next most logical thing then, i copied it to clipboard and pasted it onto word, then i selected the whole document and used bullets to number it. VUALA!

2 mins, "BOSS! FINISHEDTO!"

boss," so fast?" - again in the gay sounding voice.

"how u count one? u sure accurate or not?"

" i (explained to him how i did it.)", followed by my biggest "i bet u didnt think of that grin."

SMU - think outta the box.

BALLS!

me and another guy were asked to proof read something in chinese.

seriously sia...

SMU - think outta the box

aye S, u ntu one right, i bet ur chinese is better than mine. so u read this, i'll go buy food.

fuck u. now u wanna play school...

this coming from another all ac boy. the other one is me. and i'm sure as hell his chinese is just as bad as mine.

My ex is only 5 houses away but the phrase so near yet so far cannot be more apt.

Maybe I should start myself on slimming pills.

I love looking speeding down a bend, with the body roll reminding me how close i am to spinning out of control. or tilting my bike so low that i can almost feel the road clipping against the foot peddles.

I don’t understand how stupid people can live with themselves.

I lose my paitience faster and more easily these days.

People say that i am not fat. i say they're being nice. but i know i'm not THAT fat.

Love is something i've lost but i'm finding it again.

Somewhere, someone hates me. I don’t blame her.

“I will love you always” is the lyrics of one of my favorite songs.

Forever is non-existent.

I never want to know that there is something i cant do or missed cause i didnt try.

I think the current US President does affect me in many ways which doesnt really bother me. yet.

When I wake up in the morning i go downstairs to let my dog into the house before i do anything else.

My past is not as long as i like it to be but there's way too many things in it that i'm not proud of.

I get annoyed by stupid people.

Parties are for showing face and getting drunk in a nice corner surrounded by friends after everyone else has seen my face.

My dog is dying for a slice of cake from my dad.

My cat is called doremon, she's actually my gf's cat.

Kisses are best after the brushing of teeth and worst when one awakes.

Tomorrow, i'll have to miss the champions league finals cause i do not have cable and i have to work at 7am plus a movie after that. courtesy of my sister.

I really want to eat at places that are way to expensive on a regular basis.

I have low tolerance for people who are stupid, self absorbed, self centred and political. sly, cynical, dastardly and womanizing are fine. perfectly.

by is weird

Puff says:
hey so later 745 at taka

Puff says:
steady ah?

love is extraterrestrial says:
steady!

love is extraterrestrial says:
rocksteady!

love is extraterrestrial says:
bepop!

love is extraterrestrial says:
karate!

love is extraterrestrial says:
chop chop!

I'M UN-COOL

layne says:
dunno what moolah is...

layne says:
............................

layne says:
.....................

layne says:
........

layne says:
......

Puff - i never knew moolah means money... says:
moolah is not even in the dictionary lohs...

Puff - i never knew moolah means money... says:
kaoz. and i'm sure i'm not the oly one who doesnt know what it means

layne says:
of course its not in dictionary

layne says:
its a slang

layne says:
like umbrella = brollu

layne says:
brolly

layne says:
probably = prolly

layne says:
only cool pple know what it means la......

Corporate politics

hey xx can i go off now?

for what, u got something on issit?

no, but i'm doing nothing and have been doing nothing...

WAH LAO, I LET U SIT HERE, DO NOTHING AND EARN MONEY U DUN WANT AH...

DGFHGJDFHSGDFDHG

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Almost Famous Quotes

right, the list is a lot more impressive than this. but offhand, i can only remember 5.

1, me," oh my mom bought me this watch (nautica) from SIA."

by," is it real?"

2, me," bet u don't know the meaning of liu de qing shan zai, bu pa mei chai shao."

by," erm... if u leave the mountain, there'll always be grass?"

3, me," oh the singapore army has 3 helicopters, the uh 1h, the super puma and the apache"

by, " is the apache an attack helicopter?

me," no, they're red indians..."


4, me, " why are u leaving at 6 in the morning?"

by, " oh, i want to go home before the sun rises..."

5, me after noticing that by's pie has been in the microwave for the longest time..." HOW LONG HAVE U LEFT THAT IN THE MICRO" (the microwave was turned on and set on high)

the loudest POP you've ever heard in your life interrupted the completion of my sentence

followed by the noisest silence

completed with a " are u okay? i thought the microwave exploded and u got injured..."

the microwave didn't explode.


BUT THE DOOR SURE DID COME OFF.

dumb poly student

there's nothing more satisfying than slamming someone in the face for some wise comment that he has made.

the best part about making fun of mother fucker in my company is that he probably has no idea that he's the butt of the jokes.

this only goes on to show that poly students are not as bright as undergrads. correction. poly student (singular here refering to the mother fucker) who is 21 and still in poly with a gpa of ard 2 is not as bright as undergrads. of course if ur a poly student who is currently in uni then u do not constitute being a poly student, you are obviously an undergrad. please do not make me change the defination of a poly student. ur an undergrad...

one day (by day i mean night or morning since i'm working from 7pm - 7am), dumbass got scheculed to work the following week. he proudly proclaimed, "wah, i've sold my soul to this company man... sold my soul for about $2600 a month." from this statement one can gleam that his main intention was not to lament the sale of his soul, neither was it to complain about him having to work the following week, rather, it was to gloat that he had work to do and thus, would be in a possition to earn more money than the rest of us undergrads.

of course it doesnt really bother me that he's getting more hours than me, my leisure time to money earn ratio is not too high, leading me to be easily satisfied with the amount i'm getting. but what irks me is his "oh i'm so good that they cant get enough of me..." attitude.

me," oh man, then ur soul must be really cheap."

*sniggering amoung the undergrads*

dumb poly student ," huh, what do u mean?"

another place another time, i was told to move the bags to the rear of the office, so that the clients could not see them. i subsequently moved the bags to the rear of the office. dumb poly student's bag was there as well and i had to move it. of course while moving it i was silently worried that he's stupidity might rub off on me. while knowing that such a statement is unendingly bitchy and totally irrelevent, i am still a firm believer that stupidity is contagious.

anyways, i saw his soft porn looking hentai comic on top of his bag. this was too good an opportunity to miss and i proudly snatched up his book and showed it to all the other part time staff there grinning like an idiot and saying guess whose this is...

what struck me as odd was that everyone instinctly knew whose it was. later i found out that once he left it on the counter and the client saw it. the client apparently made a small fuss about it. the client was a lady.

women.

another time, dumb poly student was bragging about how he could work everyday and how he didnt have a life... uh huh...

he was going on about how hard it was to apply to sim and how stringent sim was to enter...

hello, does the nick name 2nd chance university strike u at all? why on earth would people refer to sim as the 2nd chance university...

he proudly proclaims that he's so behind because he failed 2 sems in poly.

he brags about how much he can drink, how drunk he gets and lastly how committed he is to this job as he stumbles to work the next day semi drunk.





the reason for the poly - undergrad differentiation here is due to the fact that this company employs both a sizeable number of under grads and poly students. while quality control used to be very strict, due to the sheer number of ipos launching in singapore, they've started to include poly grads as well. which includes, ah bengs, ah lians and dumb poly student.



every star wars film begins with a long time ago in a galaxy far far away....

does this mean that hyperspace travel, flying cool planes in the vacum of space, jedi wielding light sabres, a million thousand planets with alien life so diverse, was a thing of the past? look how far we've fallen, that reaching the moon is such an achievement now. oh woe is man.

dumb poly student

there's nothing more satisfying than slamming someone in the face for some wise comment that he has made.

the best part about making fun of mother fucker in my company is that he probably has no idea that he's the butt of the jokes.

this only goes on to show that poly students are not as bright as undergrads. correction. poly student (singular here refering to the mother fucker) who is 21 and still in poly with a gpa of ard 2 is not as bright as undergrads. of course if ur a poly student who is currently in uni then u do not constitute being a poly student, you are obviously an undergrad. please do not make me change the defination of a poly student. ur an undergrad...

one day (by day i mean night or morning since i'm working from 7pm - 7am), dumbass got scheculed to work the following week. he proudly proclaimed, "wah, i've sold my soul to this company man... sold my soul for about $2600 a month." from this statement one can gleam that his main intention was not to lament the sale of his soul, neither was it to complain about him having to work the following week, rather, it was to gloat that he had work to do and thus, would be in a possition to earn more money than the rest of us undergrads.

of course it doesnt really bother me that he's getting more hours than me, my leisure time to money earn ratio is not too high, leading me to be easily satisfied with the amount i'm getting. but what irks me is his "oh i'm so good that they cant get enough of me..." attitude.

me," oh man, then ur soul must be really cheap."

*sniggering amoung the undergrads*

dumb poly student ," huh, what do u mean?"

another place another time, i was told to move the bags to the rear of the office, so that the clients could not see them. i subsequently moved the bags to the rear of the office. dumb poly student's bag was there as well and i had to move it. of course while moving it i was silently worried that he's stupidity might rub off on me. while knowing that such a statement is unendingly bitchy and totally irrelevent, i am still a firm believer that stupidity is contagious.

anyways, i saw his soft porn looking hentai comic on top of his bag. this was too good an opportunity to miss and i proudly snatched up his book and showed it to all the other part time staff there grinning like an idiot and saying guess whose this is...

what struck me as odd was that everyone instinctly knew whose it was. later i found out that once he left it on the counter and the client saw it. the client apparently made a small fuss about it. the client was a lady.

women.

another time, dumb poly student was bragging about how he could work everyday and how he didnt have a life... uh huh...

he was going on about how hard it was to apply to sim and how stringent sim was to enter...

hello, does the nick name 2nd chance university strike u at all? why on earth would people refer to sim as the 2nd chance university...

he proudly proclaims that he's so behind because he failed 2 sems in poly.

he brags about how much he can drink, how drunk he gets and lastly how committed he is to this job as he stumbles to work the next day semi drunk.





the reason for the poly - undergrad differentiation here is due to the fact that this company employs both a sizeable number of under grads and poly students. while quality control used to be very strict, due to the sheer number of ipos launching in singapore, they've started to include poly grads as well. which includes, ah bengs, ah lians and dumb poly student.



every star wars film begins with a long time ago in a galaxy far far away....

does this mean that hyperspace travel, flying cool planes in the vacum of space, jedi wielding light sabres, a million thousand planets with alien life so diverse, was a thing of the past? look how far we've fallen, that reaching the moon is such an achievement now. oh woe is man.

WORK

working sucks the life out of you like no mosquito ever can or will. - adrian ong, 1983 - ????

working 12 hr shifts are no joke balls. it's tiring, monotonous and dry. at least i'm earning a shit load of money. but i'm still sour over my lack of progress package. if i'm filthy rich after my work stint, then people working at my job with 3 times more progress package then me will be bloodydroppyboobs rich.

too tired and too little time to hit the gym. my weight loss campaign may be stalling... haiz. what the fuck. the stupid trade off. why cant i be one of those who gets so stressed while working and ends up losing weight as a result.

i hate my guy i'm working with. he's 21 and still in poly, not graduating soon.L-O-S-E-R that is what you are. stop bragging about how much more money ur going to earn. we all know how lifeless u are... seriously. plus u slacking on the job cause ur too tired. fucker.

i'm rushin off to work. a more explicit entry about motherfucker will be coming out soon.

.....

Bangbus, Milf hunter, college fuck fest and bible black. just to name a few alternative shows that i always happen to download mistakenly for my weekly anime shot.

not that i am complaining though.