Bomb

roller coasters are the bomb. i love the adrenaline pumping through my body everytime there is a plunge. the feel of blood rushing to ur head, the butterflys fluttering in ur stomache and the fact that ur held onto blistering metal hurtling at speeds of up to 60 km/hr by a safety belt and an iron bar. the anticipation of the plunge as you're slowly being dragged up to the apex of the curve before the plunge. i love the way they slow down the ride after a series of twists and turns, lulling u into a sense of calmness, causing ur overflexed and over tense muscles to relax. all too soon u realise that it was a deliberate ploy on the devious minds of the creators as u plunge unexpectedly into oblivion.

today i discovered the power of the speed pass. strolling past the endless queues of losers as the paitiently await their turn for the ride is simply estatic. the look of envy on their faces when they see u at the head of the queue after they had so painsaking waited for 2 hrs before reaching that very same point they u covered in 10 mins. the simple fact that i can go for the same ride twice and still see the same person in the queue. it's not a matter of money. it's a matter of perference. i feel my time is more important to me than my money. if we waited 1 and a half hrs for each ride, there is simply no way i can cover the rides there in 1 day. simple math. u reach there at 12, they close at 10. for those who have been there u know what other hidden costs there are. as long as my marginal utility is greater than my marginal cost, adrian is a happy man. considering that i can never get rides like this again unless i take a 17 hr transit flight or a 14 hr direct flight (ONE FUCKING WAY), my marginal utility is relatively high.

Bitch

i am traveling the states now as u all shld have figured out by now. with linc, hot babe by and her "BEST" friend julia, aka bitch.

bitch is the default navigator on our trip. linc cracks under pressure while by is just there. dead weight. excess baggage. MEGA EYE CANDY. and shumacher is of course driving (i am the best driver here. linc's driving is suspect. bitch cannot park. by doesnt even have a liscense, btw she's one YEAR older than me. she gets by on publuic transport and by dating guys who drive. HAHA. hint hint.)

anyway, being the "best" navigator we have, bitch has gotten damn bloody big headed recently. a PAIN IN THE FUCKING ASS and a FLAMING BIG ZIT. her default target of opportunity, our most likable lincoln mah. conversations go like this. 1), hey linc, which way do we turn?" linc, "left." biatch," RIGHT!". me,"fuck....." 2) me."hey which is the best way to get there?" bitch,"we can take this this that that." linc, "we cld go by this way as well. i think it's shorter." bitch," if u think ur so smart than u navigate. since u have so many great ideas..." (to set the record straight, linc DOES have the better route. she just fucking refuses to admit it.)

bitch also got pissed at me because she fucking left her bag in my care and some other fucking fucking spilled beer onto her bag. bitch also made me go thtu some fucking heavy metal concert for 6 hrs... i almost died. apparently there were groups called MEGADETH... fucking stupid name if u ask me. if u want to say death just say it... dun be a wuss. and LIFE OF AGONY. sad mother fuckers if u ask me... and there is NEVERMORE... what kind of fucking name is nevermore. it does not make any grammatical sense that i can figure out. nevermore? are they trying to say that there is nothing more? or never going to be anything more? or they want to die right here right now? enlighten me.

apparently during rock concerts there's this thing called moshing. it's just plain fucking retarded. where people run around in circles smashing and hitting and crashing into one another. watchin what these retards were doing convinced me of the innate intelligence of the mats. no wonder they love rock concerts. no wonder they love smashing their heads around. no wonder they're so fucking stupid. doing stupid things like this and listening to heavy metal does make one stupid. i felt that i lost one too many brain cells listening to them. and a lot of mats like heavy metal. trust me. if ur not convinced that mats like heavy metal, take a walk from orchard mrt to pot black. u'll see them. in their mohocks, with their metal studded jackets and their knee high boots. fucking disgusting. most depressing. i mean stop fuicking arouind, stop getting people pregnant or robbing people or spending ur money on clothes that make u look like a prick or hanging around orchard road in the middle of the night. neither should u think that playing soccer is ur highway to tons of money and forming a mat rock band doesnt get u food on the table either.

i hate the bitch. there;s too mant things that i cant say. it's all pent up i dunno where to start. i dun have the time and energy to start.

off off and away!

i'll be going to the states today. i'm really excited about it. i'll be gone for 3 weeks without a laptop and regular internet access so i'll be back here only after my country's bloody birthday. at by's house now actually. waiting for the flight and she's gettin screwed by her mom cause we didnt book accomodation there. her mom's really dissed. i feel really bad. she's getting screwed outside and all i can do is muster eunough courage to hide inside her room...

i really do want to go out and tell her mom that that was our plan but... her mom actually got us a room at the hilton for 80 us a night. EIGHTY FUCKING US A NIGHT. a room at a motel costs us 70 us a night. and this is the god damn bloody mother fucking hilton. damn i wishe my dad had friends like this but no it is not to be.

anyways. i'll be back. later.

Me And You

I first met you hanging knickers on The line
From that moment on I knew that
There could only be one outcome
Me and you against the world forever
You have no folks
And I'm just a joke
But we made a vow that we would
Never sell each other out
A lie detector wouldn't make me
Doubt you
Now we know that it's us versus theWorld now
Me and you against the world now
Look up there in the sky now
See the stars well they're shining
Just for us
Hey now, me and you against theWorld now
Look up there in the sky now
See the stars well they're shiningJust for us
We hitched a ride that would turn
Out suicideI had my '45 replica gunI didn't think we'd ever need it
Didn't know he had a real one loaded
You went in firstTook the worst
Couldn't hear me shouting you to stop
Above the busy traffic passing by
We promised that together weWould die
Now we know that it's us versus the
World nowMe and you against the world now
Look up there in the sky now
See the stars well they're shining
Just for us
Hey now, me and you against theWorld now
Look up there in the sky now
See the stars well they're shining
Just for usI went in next took a bullet in
The chest
So I hit him with the only thing that
Was anywhere near me
A tin of baked beans and a
Woman's weekly
I got the cash picked you up and made
A dash we didn't make it too far we
Made it to the parking lot 40 cops in
Front of us...
Guess who got shot
Lying there dying in each other's arms
Oh you said to me
Don't worry about a thing my little
Sweetheart
We're together we shall never
Be apart
You took a chance on a loser like me
But you never let me down
And whether we're in heaven or hell
I know it's better than separate cells.
Now we know that it's us versus the
World now
Me and you against the world now
Look up there in the sky now
See the stars well they're shiningJust for us
Hey now, me and you against the
World now
Look up there in the sky now
See the stars well they're shiningJust for us

Unluckiest Man In The Word

Oh, you brought a bright summer's day
To my gray stormy heart.
What do you think about love?
Is it such a great place to start?
I just know that this warm glow inside
Feels like an orchestra swell.
And now I know now as well.
You finally made me like myself.
Oh, you broke the hearts of a prince, a doctor, a pilot, a king.
And you fell in love with the unluckiest man in the whole damn world.
The unluckiest man in the whole damn world.
The unluckiest man in the whole damn world.

The smallest of men, couldn't even turn you to them.
They have am morning of lucksKnow all the best clubs in town.
The latest high-fashion suits and their big flashy cars.
But just for the thrill of it if they try it on,
You kick them where it hurts and adios they're gone.
You finally made me like myself.
Oh, you broke the hearts of a lawyer, a playboy, a Georgian, a pimp.
And you fell in love with the unluckiest man in the whole damn world.
The unluckiest man in the whole damn world.
The unluckiest man in the whole damn world.
You finally made me like myself.

Oh, you broke the hearts of a prince, a doctor, a pilot, a king.
And you fell in love with the unluckiest man in the whole damn world.
The unluckiest man in the whole damn world.
The unluckiest man in the whole damn world.T
hat's right. The unluckiest man in the whole damn world.
One more time! The unluckiest man in the whole damn world.

Yeah Yeah

i swear i'm brilliant. work is great! the people there are a tad boring. i'm working with a he-bitch. he looks like a fucking faggot. behaves like a fucking faggot. its like he shld be a woman instead of a man. he reaches the office at 645. work starts at 7. working with him is a pain. I HATE HIM. we have such different ways of doing things. plus the fact that he's so fucking afraid of trouble. he thinks the clients will get angry if they have to scope their own rice onto their plate, so he insists on scopping the rice into bowls for the clients and placing the remainder into a bowl. they were eating buffet style. HOW MANY BLOODY FUCKING BUFFETS DO U GO TO WHERE THEY SERVE U RICE IN TO A BOWL... i can think of one. buffet-faggot-he-bitch-style. he doesnt dare to pinch the food that we're going to serve to the clients. it's fucking finger food. who the hell knows if u stole ONE FUCKING FRNECH FRY... and u got to be the flaming unluckiest person in the whole wide world to get caught. period.

he has a friend. let's call him weirdo. for the simple fact that he IS werid. he says the most unsuspecting things. and he's 19 yrs old. without even an ite cert.. apparently he went to the poly and dropped out. he then took a'levels as a private canidate and didnt go for the paper... how smart is that. he has 1980 hair. floopy and long. like beverly hills 90210 hair. imagine the zoe tay acting as bobo. remember the experiment-gone-wrong hairstyle, then try to remember li nan xing's hair. yuppers. there. and that mother fucker is always trying to get dispatch duty, like he's so blatant that he wants to leave the office it's disgusting. there's a reason why they dun want to ask u to go buy things and i think it's because of the fucking blank look u show them everytime they mention a place to u u dick head. he was so happy that they asked him to deliver some document that is far away. he was like, "woah, i think they're starting to trust me." THEY ASKED U TO GO TO ORCHARD ROAD. like fucking cineleisure... wah lan aye... how hard is that. when we were asked to get dinner, they sent him to boat quay to collect part of the dinner. I HAD TO DRAW A MAP OF BOAT QUAY FOR HIM. like it's 1 fucking line. and i had to give him visual aid. NO WONDER UR SO DUMB. plus the fact that when they mentioned orchard towers he has the blurrest look on his face, he actually said i think it's in orchard road right... of course they picked me for that one! HA!

the hong kong team came to the singapore office to help out as they expect a huge workload this week. HONG KONG CHICKS RULE! this gal called crystal is so pretty. she can dress. and she talks with the sexiest hong kong accent! haha. i so wanna talk like a hongkee now. "LE HO MO? LENG ZAI! SAK BAO MEH?" and i just love the way they speak english. i actually talked to crystal for like 3o mins. HAHA. came up with some lame pick up line," hey how far is hong kong airport to hong kong city?" (this is the joey effect.) HAHAHA. which triggered a intense description of what bus to take from where, whether it's faster to take the mtr or bus. which stations are nearby with good shopping etc etc etc. i sat rght opposite her so i cld look at her without seeming suspicious. (of course i already mastered the looking at u with lookin like i'm looking at u skill.) it was wack, and the hongkee babe i was talking abt is her.

weirdo balked at buying mayonise in the city. he was like "adrian u go buy lah. i scared i cant find it and they want it fast." FUCKER. cannot get then ask me go and get. i know i'm smarter that u are but please. left without a choice and being their number one dispatch walker i left the building armed with ten dollars. i walked to 7-11 where they didnt have mayo. they called the other nearby outlets and 7-11 officially do not carry mayonise. period. oh no, the average jo might say. BUT NO, i was no average jo! i had a job to do and get it done i will. i ended up getting 10 packets of mayonise. 6 from burger king, that i walked into twice and 4 from macdonalds. HAHAHA! i'm brillant i swear! even my boss thinks so! i NEVER cease to amaze myself. i am the most amazing person i ever met! HAHAHAHA!

AMAZING ADRIAN!

if ego could provide electricity i cld power the world for a million years.

no make that a million million years.

Strategic Seating

the hottest babe from hong kong is sitting opposite me. i wish i cld take her photo. damn

Today My Brain Died

reached work at 710 today. the whole office was full. apparently i was the lastest one to arrive. i mean who the fucking hell reaches the office before 7 in the morning. hell. i didnt even have to do this in secondary school. it's just retarded.

anyway, i popped in this morning expecting to work till 7pm BUT the 1st thing my upperstudy told me was,"hey the clients cancelled. looks like its gonna be a slack day." my day was made. BUT, he had to teach me how to use the fax machine, the printer, the binder, the sticker printer (which looks like it was made in the 70s. actually i wun be suprised if it was. ANCIENT.) and that wasnt all. the phone, the door openers. (yes, i'm not kidding), the fuck man. there's just too many things.

i absorbed a cool 10%of what ever he taught me. i mean i slept at 4 and woke up at. plus, it was after saturday night... i actually claimed that i had a stomache, that ended with me staying in the toilet for a cool 20 mins. sleeping. there was nothing to do this morning since the clients didnt turn up. i ended up taking a guided day tour of raffles place (part of the countless errands that they got me to do for them, ie, buying breakfast, buying more breakfast. buying teh si... and buying things from caltex house. it was fun, the only thing was that my brain had died. i ended up walking and walking around. i got hopelessly lost and utterly unable to find whatever it is that they want me to buy. i mean who cares whether ur teh si is from that particular shop in the arcade.... fucking teh si is fucking teh si. it's just tea with milk. what is the big deal. of course i couldnt fucking be bothered whether i got it from that shop or not. teh si was teh si to me.

murphy's law. if something can go wrong it will go wrong.
of course the bloody women i bought it for could tell that it wasnt from that particular shop that she wanted. of course she made a big fuss about it, claiming that it's not as thick, as milky etc etc. of course i told her it's from her favorite stall. and fuck, i had to go get another cup and i had to tell the uncle who it was for as,"he knows what kinda teh si makes me smile." WHAT THE FUCKING HELL. TEH FUCKING CHEE BYE SI THAT MAKES U SMILE. (it actually rhymes yah? teh fucking chee bye si. come on. say it. teh fucking chee bye si!)

what was i thinking. that i could fool a fourty year old who's still single and probably never had sex in a gazillion years that a counterfeit teh si was her trusted kiss buddy she's been sucking on for the past 5 yrs...?! that the closest thing to an orgasm she's ever had is gulping down piping hot, milky and thick teh si... what does she think it is...

and i thought wrongly.. i trusted me. when the most important part of me wasnt really working. nope not my penis. my brain.

i'm suffering from joey syndrome. i swear it's from watching too much joey. but it's so damn fucking funny. his sister is just as dumb as he is. his nephew is the exact opposite from the both of them. his twisted and derranged agent and his girlfriend just sizzles. ex girlfriend now i think. i cannot even imagine what goes on in the twisted minds of the producers that churn out such good and wholesome crap. how do they take the most normal things and turn them into such works. granted i can do it spontaneously. but i cannot do it for 24 episodes and 24 mins per episode. it's like they have to have permanent constipation since they're so full of shit. did i mention his girlfriend sizzles?

JOEY,"i've done 75 love scenes, do u know how many times that has lead to actual sex?"

nephew (who's never had sex.) ," erm. 75?"

joey,"TWO HUNDRED AND FOURTY FOURTY!"

that guy has no fear of stds. i swear, he's either so fucking dumb that he doesnt know or he's just plain lucky (I KNOW IT'S JUST A SHOW. PLEASE. GIMME THAT MUCH CREDIT.). can u imagine the 6th season of joey, he finds out he has aids. now that'll be one to catch.

what's with people and putting fantastic 4 photos on their msn pics? do they think they are them? or do they want to be just like them? maybe they think that the normal person does not know that there is a fantastic 4 movie. or perhaps they idolize them, thus in a sense wanting to be them. or is it because they think that finding a picture of one of the fantastic 4 is so hard that they JUST have to get one and put it up there so that they're now in the COOL group, where just about EVER SINGLE OTHER PERSON has it too. maybe after reading this u go i put it up as my msn pic because i like it. i just want to.

ask urself WHY do u just WANT to. or what makes u FEEL LIKE IT.

what happened to all spider men, or x-men before them... star wars anyone?

Wrinkles On My Brow

i was a humdrum person.
leading a life apart
when love flew in thru my window wide
and quickened my humdrum heart
love flew in thru my window
i was so happy then
but after love had stayed a little while
love flew out again
what is this thing called love
this funny thing
called love
just who can solve
it's mystery
why should it make a fool of me
i saw you there one wonderful day
you took my heart and threw it away
that's why i asked the lord in heaven above
what is this thing called love
what is this thing called love
this funny thing called love
just who can solve it's mystery
why should it make a fool of me
i saw you there one wonderful day
you took my heart and threw it away
that's why i ask the lord in heaven above
what is this thing called love

quotes from my ever weirder circle of friends.

friend, "alright, looks like i'll just have to charm her to get her to not give me a ticket..."
me, ".............." plus the you really think that that's gonna work look.
friend, "fine, i'll just go shoot her with my sex ray then."

okay, i can just think of 1 offhand. erm... wee nee. do u know how to do something that allows me to have like a link where i can keep all my quotes...? so my blog will actually have 2 pages instead of one. come to think of it. anyone please help me. goes out to the guy with the gay blog as well. thanks peeps. (i get this naggy feelin no one is going to help me. not when i ask like this.)

In Time You Will Call Me Master

never call me when i'm driving.

"hello adrian. this is trinya from belle. i would like to know if u can start work on monday right after ur training."

me while driving and having no intention to work on monday. " yah, that's fine. great! so monday's fine."

trinya," erm... can u work on wednesday and thursday as well?"

me while driving again... "yeah that's great! i'm free..."

trinya sensing the blood of her prey homes in like a great white shark. " then what abt tues, saturday and sunday?"

dumbass driving..."yeah they're all great! i can work all those days too. so just to double check.i'm working monday, wednesday, thursday, tuesday, saturday and sunday."

notice, the fact that i repeated what ever she said IN THE SAME ORDER. this means that i was not listening to her... oh i heard her alright but i did not process it... i just said yes to what ever request she made.

trinya, "yeah that's great! i'll see u monday then."

eunice (she was sitting beside me...). "u do know that ur working the whole week yah? im only working there on thursday and maybe friday..."

me," AAAWWWWWwwwww too bad. my heart goes out to u peaches. i'm getting all the work!!! ahahaha!"

me again after stopping at the red light," that means i'm working the whole fucking bloody chee bye week!!!"

eunice, "that's what i said u bastard. and ur leaving for america on the 15th!"

me, "i know that...duh! like i need u to remind me..."

eunice,"15th july is friday... ur supposed to be working on saturday AND sunday and friday as well..."

i looked at her and started whistling a man for all seasons.

bitch. "spending too much time with u has made me feel so superior. maybe next time u shld call me master oh great one who cannot think while driving."

me in chandler's mode." it shld be mistress u bitch. maybe if u go for a sex change i might consider calling u master. otherwise just sit still and shut up. u can call ME master."

now before u start blaming me... let me say, it wasnt my fault that she called me when i was driving!!! like during the 5 hours i was in school she cldnt call me. in the 20 mins it took me to get to eunice's house she had to call me.. what the hell man... and i wasnt going to tell a person who was going to offer me a job that i cannot talk to her when i'm driving... i mean who does that!! i know, i'm started to sound like joey from friends...

read this article in 8 days... it says, gone over to the blue side. (with reference from star wars. it's how porn sounding the dialogue from star wars sound...)

1. he is here, i have felt him.

2. you cant go in there. it's restricted.

3. size matters not. judge me by my size do you. (no prizes for who said this...)

4. pull out wedge. you cant do anymore good back there!

5. do or do not. there is no try. (i personally think this is a lame attempt by 8 days at humour. besides number 1)

6. luke, at that speed, do you think you'll be able to pull out in time?

7. han! can u reach my light sabre? (this got me lying on the floor asking for more.)

8. control control. you must learn control.

9. i look forward to completing your training. in time u will call me "master". (shoot me. this is hilarious.)

10. any of chewbacca's lines.

for those of u who do not understand the lines from the 8days issues... just drop dead.

Grow Fucking Up

the most irritating guy i know. let's call him fuckface, i know it's not short or easy to type but it conveys my message across. fuckface. FUCKFACE.

okay i'm getting cold feet now cause i'm afriad he reads my blog and i'm doing this in a fit of anger... some of the things he said. i shall now say this as vauguely as i can. if he's reading this i am so bloody fucking dead. but then again when have i bothered.

imagine telling someone that A will tell him everything and not u because he's so much closer to A. and it wasnt like i wanted A to tell me anything. he just said it. maybe it's his way of striking conversation. fucking negative eq.

he willingly gives pple my msn. but refuses to give me other people's msns when i ask for them. citing x's so and so's friend u ask so and so loh... like how fucking old are u. in kindergarden. and i do not appreciate u giving my msn to other people...

there's loads more... but shall stop since my anger is satisfied.

i hate winamp. they're playing all soppy jazz love songs now...

lullaby of birdland. that's what i always hear when u sigh... i mean come on... how cheesey is that... and there's a weepy old willow. he loves to cry. and that's how i shall cry on my pillow shld u kiss me goodbye... WRONG SONG WRONG TIME.

dusty springfield's the look of love is in ur eyes... LOVE. I WLD LOVE TO STRANGLE SOMEONE NOW. the look of death perhaps... i can hardly wait to kill u. feel my arms ard u. how long i've fainted. waited just to kill u. and now i've found u. u've got the look of death on ur face. the look that time cant erase...

then there's "what is this thing called love...". shoot me... and it doesnt help since winamp is on random and like some diabolical bitch when i click next she just plays another love song... like &%$&%&$##@$%@#%.

come away with me in the night... come away with me and i will write u a death note. come away with me on a bus. i will run u down before u get on...

The Whole Word, In It's Rooms.

Skinny people, tall people, short people, ugly people, good looking people (a lot of those...), familiar people, not so familiar people and people i have absolutely no recollection i've met in my life. those were just some of the people i met at zouk. the whole world was at zouk last night. at least the whole smu population was there. i turned my head and there was a smile coming from someone. i admit. sometimes i have absolutely no fucking idea who the person smiling at me is but what the hell, returning a smile has not gotten me killed yet.

then there were the ah bengs. rule number 1. avoid going on top of the main podium at zouk unless ur a) an ah beng/ah lian b) u want to me an ah beng/ah lian c) u want people to think that ur an ah beng/ah lian. rule number 2, always go to the other podium. i call it the babe magnet. the gals dancing on that podium at so damn bloody freaking hot. sizzling. rule number 3, always have a gal/group of gals to join. when people see a grp of gals dancing together, it's neat. when people see a grp of guys dancing together, L-O-S-E-R-A-R-M-Y-B-O-Y-S... point made.

my friend's sister was at zouk for the 1st time. a nubile 18 yr old. apparently she was SUPPOSED TO BE staying over at a friend's place when my roving eye caught a glimpse of her. "hey, that gal not bad sia. something tells me she's in medicine, single, no bf before, relatively pretty and rich." my friend,"WHERE?! WHERE?! quick show me when my gf's not here." me," WAH LAO! UR FUCKING SISTER LEH! can u please control..." the resulting laughter was was deafening. the look of disbelief on his face, followed by the lightning quickness he jumped up to his feet and was gone in a flash, chasing after his sister. i silently said a prayer. "PLEASE LET HER BE HIS SISTER. I'M SO DEAD IF SHE'S NOT." ah, the power of my eagle eyes. by grace i was saved. that happened at 12. he told his sister they were leaving at 1. she told him she's staying till 3. they settled at 2.

"hey, since we got no table let's join X.". "I'M NOT JOINING X! NOT WHEN I'M FUCKING HOLDING 4 JUGS OF DRINKS. we join X and we fucking finish 1 jug X will finish 3. and he wun pay us back. REMEMBER." me, "oh yah. let's call y, i saw his gf here. so he shld be here."

when i met y outside the toilet. y(this is the 1st thing he says to me. not hi. not long time no see. not how are u. BUT)," U KNOW WAT! I FUCKING SAW X HERE. I WANNA KICK HIS SOORRY ASS." me, "that makes 2 of u, Z wants to kick his ass too." Y, "dun u wanna kick his ass too?" me, "there's too many people here. unlike u and Z, I HAPPEN TO BE IN SMU. X HAPPENS TO BE IN SMU. and unlike u 2 i happen to have MUTUAL friends with X..."

Z, "if u dun join us, when we go diss him later, we'll just say adrian asked us to do this because he just cannot stand ur fucking ugly face. and that voice that has problems speaking english and a brain that cannot think."

the friends i have. gems. every single last one of them.

received tons of dirty looks. apparently BY was there and she started following me ard cause the guy she was with was attached and there was some issues with the girlfriend. waala. instead of a guys night out i now had a date. unbelievable. the smu ruggers that were there were like,"wah lao... there goes adrian again. with that hot babe that he's going states with." priceless. by actually knows all of my ex's. it was amazing talking to her findin out what she tot abt them. i'm not sure whether she knows they were my ex's but it's flattering to hear that the people u used to date are etc etc etc. okay not that flattering. other people are dating them now... sighs. by the time i dropped her home the sun was rising. i knew if i got home after the sun rose i was dead. like a vampire running for it's life i made a mad dash home. thank god i made it before my mom got up. i can just imagine the conversation if i got home after. "wah boy, why u come back so late!" (this is a statement not a qns. a statement of utter condemnation.) me,"where got late?! damn early can. look, the sun's rising!" mom,"ur dead." me,"i'm dead" (this works just like the jedi mind trick that star wars made famous.)

Wild Quotes

Whenever people agree with me-
I always feel I must be wrong

Oscar Wilde

Something Yet Nothing For Everyone

1stly, there are no malays that i know of who reads my blog. the only 2 malays i know in school just happen to be cousins. in jc, i only knew like 1 malay. and in secondary school i knew 2. the 1 malay i knew in secondary school also happens to be the same 1 i knew in secondary school. so thus far, i've know 4 malays my whole life. now when i say know i mean go out with, talk to (beyond "ah babg!" )as in talk about things more than skin deep. and yeah. u get my point. so to the 2 ntu women, u r safe. to the bottle of tiger beer, ur safe.

just had the most amazing thought, i'm sure every hot blooded male would love to be mr fantastic. that way, u could have the biggest, longest, widest *beep*. and i'm sure every hot blooded female would love to fuck someone with mr fantastic's power. HAHAHA. i mean. WAH LAO. with powers like that and the only thing he could think of is saving the world?! and with a wife like jessica alba AND STILL HE CAN ONLY BELIEVE IN SAVING THE WORLD. this i do not believe. if i could i would most definately plant a hidden webcam in their bedroom. the revenue i would reap from them. limitless.

let's get realistic, mr fantastic uses his neck, his hands, his legs,hell he even extends his fingers when he needs to and out of all the life-threatening and do-or-die situations he's been in i'm PRETTY SURE if he extended his sword he could definately make his life a lot easier(a certain ah beng friend of mine
would say a lot MORE easier... for those of u who DIDNT get it, ur either a) an ah beng b)an ah lian c) MAT. )

i say again, there are 2 types of people i absolutely despise in this world. MATS and racists. hur hur. old joke. i take it back. I DO NOT HATE MATS. i just like making fun of them. BUT i like making fun of people in general. if u remember, LOSERS WORKIN AT STARBUCKS FOR $5 AN HOUR. (OHOH! 1 OF THEM IS A MAT! AHHAHAHA! ) Indians who smell like deordarent that's been left on for a week. Chinese men who are anti all things technological. etc etc.

man i love wan wan advertisements. they are just so hilarious. there's this popcicle thing that ends with a kid all dressed up like a punk. he stares at u with kid-punk eyes are asks u in chinese have u sucked enough... okay maybe u have to watch it to understand it. kids central please. there's this other one that goes in chinese translated to english," wan wan something drink really get's angry. they play upon the pun where gas is the same as getting angry...
the word is "qi." it goes," wan wan something something zhen de hui shen qi." okay, i'm feel my descriptive skills are sorely lacking. never mind, go watch kids central there are tons of other advertisements there from wan wan that are hilarious.

A Tribute To Choo Yi Ping

i sure am kinda famous now. at least from choo yi ping's blog. thanks to that woman's 2 consecutive posts that mentions me. i've noticed a trend. everytime she mentions me my counter jumps more than normal. it's happened twice so i'm convinced that it works. maybe i shld get more pple to link me. and after that insult them, their school, their friends etc etc. just to get them to mention me and walah! what do u get? free publicity. simple. cheap. efficient.

given, depending on the kind of post that the person posts( this sounds funny doesnt it?), the number of refering links differ. for example, shld a post contain an msn conversation that has X (me) slamming all ntu engineering students. that would be astronomical. should the post contain nothing more than an innocent request from X (me again) to start blogging, then the resulting result (this sounds funny too.) would be smaller.

i know it doesnt take a rocket scientist to figure that out. and neither does it take great and wonderous observation skills to notice it. but hey. FUCK OFF. at least i'm tellin u abt it.

i realised that channel 8 is the governments' machine to brainwash the general, under educated chinese in singapore. a perfect example. YO FU. the channel 8 drama serial they're showing now. if u bother to look deeper than the surface (which i'm sure it's not difficult to) it's just a propaganda machine for the government to spread cancer awareness. the phrase cancer is no longer incurable has appeared more than i can be bothered to remember. if i'm not mistaken. the last time. there was a show on CPF and before that, kidney failure etc etc. now u might think that it's not that bad. at least the government is spreading awareness to the masses and it's a win win situation. herein lies the danger of the media. the sheer brainwashing effects that the media can have on the masses. obviously the message they are trying to convey cannot be directly against our morales, for example, killing our parents is the right thing to do. that'll obvioulsy not work for normal, balanced people. but it does work on some. and there u have the school shootings. students shooting students. an american tradition.

should the media instead start playing on a social biased that we already possess. ie, malays are generally lazier, have a lower iq and are all terrorists. just imagine the consequences.

DULCE ET DECORUM EST

if there is a movie that has touched me deeply it has to be "the rock", starring nicholas cage and sean conneary. the opening scene where the best seal team is trying to breach the defenses of alcatraz is a scene i can never get sick of watching no matter how many times i've watched it. it started off so promising, so full of hope. next, we thrust into the deepest pits of despair and hopelessness when the seal team is surrounded on all sides by enemies on an elevated platform. when all is lost and surrender the only feasible option the seal commander then decided to sway his wayward commarades with a all or nothing speach, begging them to remember their oaths to the seals etc etc. which finally earned the seal team their deaths when a loose brick falls on the floor resulting in a massacre of the seal team.

maybe it was the way it was filmed or perhaps the choice of words. i think it was the message they were trying to sell. so powerful, so strong and so right.

now if it were me in their shoes, i probably will not go on the mission. if i had to, it probably means that the special forces are dead. the commandos are missing. and the whole lot of other people that are born and bred for missions like this (which makes them more than a 1000 times more suitable than me) are probably dead. so bad that they have to send in the armoured bridge recce coy. so yeah, if it boils down to me i'll prob get an excuse lower limbs and stay in bed watching my friends go off to war.

jokes aside, i'll go. as if i had a choice to and i doubt they'll take the excuse lower limbs seriously and there aint no way i'm letting two of the dumbest pple i know go off to war without big brother adrian. i'll march off to war, leading my pathetic team of 4 men. like the movie stars, i'll sneak my way thru all the defenses etc etc. and make my way to the shower room where i'll get ambushed in the shower room.

but NO WAY will i try to move them with my speech and all. i'll turn the safety on and surrender. like they say, its better lo leave and fight another day. in chinese. liu de qing shan zha. bu pa meh cha shao. = leave the green mountains. not scared no wood to burn.

and lastly.

The old Lie; Dulce et Decorum est pro patria mori.

In The Still Of The Night

i almosted got a heart attack when i stepped out of my car last night. at ard 2 am, there was this freak standing at the park giving a sermon. he was shouting at the top of his lungs uttering words like burning condemnation and for our sins will we burn forver in the pits of hell. my god. i took a look at him and gave him the please will u just fucking go home and sleep look. trying to be funny, i decided to go to the park where he was giving his sermon to get a closer look at the "guy with the fucked head." not wanting to do my close in recce so blatantly, i proceeded to do so under the pretense that i was bringing my dog out for a walk. (now for those of u who have heard of my dog, she's called mon. short for moron. she's a bitch, that much shld be obviously, a cowadly, timid dog that barks the loudest when she's behind the safety of the gates. a greedy dog, to date she managed to doubke her body wt in 1 yr... thank god she's stopped doing that.)mon scampered out of the gate faster than a speeding bullet, quicker than a flash of lightning ONLY to stop before enter the park to check if i was behind her. and i was. upon hearing that mad man raving in the park she turned tail and ran home refusing to leave the house despite my most insisntent pleading. so much for plan subtle. time for the big guns to enter the fray.

i called upon the forces that can move a mountain, turn the tides. forces that are so powerful and strong. forces that come when least expected and abandon when most expected. forces that make the weakest man seem strong and the strongest man seem no more than a frightened child. i called upon my sadly lacking courage. with a face that conveyed more gusto and bravado i strolled into the park and took a sit on the bench directly opposite mr weirdo. mr weirdo didnt not even blink. he didnt even pause. it was as if i wasnt there. on and on he continued to give his sermon about how we'll all burn in hell for lust, envy, greed, gluttony, sloth, wrath and pride. i continued looking at him with the " u ought to see a doctor" look and all of a sudden like a bat out of hell he screams and starts punching the chair he was standing on. yes, STANDING ON. now i was freaked. i took out my hp and placed it on standby all prepared to call my neighbours shld anything go wrong. i was charming a cobra, balancing the tightrope, holding the lion by it's teeth?

then, at the climax of his pounding,

he just left.

like that, gone with the wind.

and i was there, left alone with the echoes of what had just passed revebrating in my mind. i was spooked. shld i ever see him again i'm so calling the cops. i swear.

The Smiths

Frankly, Mr Shankly, this position I've held
it pays my way and it corrodes my soul
I want to leave you will not miss me
I want to go down in musical history

Frankly, Mr Shankly, I'm a sickening wreck
I've got the 21st century breathing down my neck
I must move fast, you understand me
I want to go down in celluloid history Mr Shankly

Fame, fame, fatal fame
it can play hideous tricks on the brain
but still I rather be famous
than righteous or holy, any day, any day, any day

But sometimes I'd feel more fulfilled
making Christmas cards with the mentally ill
I want to live and I want to love
I want to catch something that I might be ashamed of

Frankly, Mr Shankly, this position I've held
it pays my way and it corrodes my soul
oh, I didn't realise that you wrote poetry
I didn't realise you wrote such bloody awful poetry Mr Shankly

Frankly, Mr Shankly, since you ask
you are a flatulent pain the arse
I do not mean to be so rude
but still, I must speak frankly, Mr Shankly, give us money