HOMM AGAIN

if i were a hero living in the world of HOMM and world conquest is my full time job. i would be a necromancer. yes, a necromancer. nothing beats killing fighting a battle and turning a portion of ur slain enemies into your own mindless and souless undead army. granted, u might not gain the benefits of good moral but at least u do not have to worry about low moral. u can raid the tombs of every single dead hero with fear of the repecussions that it is going to have on the moral of your troops.

let me have the cloak of the undead and the armour of the damned as well. it is always good to raise 80% of your slain enemies instead of a measly 20%, do the math and you'll see the power of compounding in the long run.

if i ever get sick of being evil, i could always be a wizard, mage or druid. as long as i am able to use magic. i cannot grasp the concept of playing this game as a babarian, with their total disregard of the importance of magic and prefering to i quote," rely on tatics and battle strategies". i mean if u can rely on tatics and battle strategies, a mage could also rely on tatics and battle strategies BUT they have the added advantage of MAGIC. mass slow, mass bless, chain lighting and implosion can seriously change the face of the battle. if ur talking about turning the tables then magic is the way to go.

on the world map, town portal, flight and water walking can make me the most versatile general in the field. who cares if u can walk 1.5 times as far as me. i could go up a mountain, through a river or simple teleport back to my castle and see if u have the balls to come knocking on my door. i could fly over the alps like hannabal and appear at the doorstep of your undefended castle when u think you've sealed me up JUST BECAUSE U'VE BLOCKED THE ONLY PATH WITH AN ARMY THAT I CANNOT DEFEAT. and then u've got to give up ur plans of attacking me JUST because u've lost ur castle. sucker.

never underestimate the power of archers. i can shoot off a the balls of a man at 500 paces. translates to if i have 500 archers i can shoot of the balls of 500 men at 500 paces, 500 men at 450 paces, 500 men at 400 paces and 500 men at 350 paces and so on so forth. by the time you are 50 paces to me, you would have lost 4500 men to my pathetic 500 archers. talk about economies of scale.

another flaw i've noticed is that people tend to build buildings to produce creatures 1st. please, u can have all the damn creatures in your castle and it will not make a damn difference if u do not have the money to recruit them. it's like buying stocks. u can have all the best planned portfolios on the world but if u aint got the dough, u aint going to make the bread.

if i were a hero in HOMM, i would make adelide my 1, wife 2, consort 3, mistress 4, lover 5, anything which means she is mine.

her profile, "brought up on the something to do with ice and winter, her specialilty of frost ring. "(frost ring is a spell.) btw she's a human cleric, which means it would get a little tough if i were necromancer. never mind. i'll just turn her into a vampire or maybe a mindless zombie to do all my biddings. *perverted laughter*

*more perverted laughter*

DUN GO SLEEP RIGHT AFTER YOU EAT!

my dog was trying not to fall asleep after dinner, there she was, lying on the floor in a semi state of bliss.




"MON! DUN GO AND SLEEP RIGHT AFTER YOU EAT!"


she jumped up after suffering a near heart attack. and ran around completely disorientated. deciding that the enemy was outside the house, she ran out and started barking who knows what to god knows who.

at least i got the bitch moving.

Pro-love

the babarian crag hack is victorious. now it's time for yog the half genie half babarian to break free of the iron fist of the wizards and answer his true calling. that of a babarian!

of course it's not as easy as it seems. there's always titans to battle, grelims to flee from. if only life were as straight forward as it. oh, and i have to conquer a castle in 1 week.. sigh...

i was reading a text book and i came across this, Singapore's pubic service follows the latter practice. "the Civil Service is not only pro-marriage, it is also PRO-LOVE. ....... We encourage our SINGLE staff to SOCIALISE freely."

i never knew the gahmen was pro-love. and pro-love sounds wrong. it's so juvenile. when i read it i burst out laughing and laughing and laughing. i hope it comes out for the exams. it's the ONE thing i remember surely, fully and whole-heartedly.

i am looking forward to the hols. hopefully i will get my paycheck in. a cool whooping 1 k to blow in 1 month. if i do the maths that's $30 a day... not much now that i look at it. sigh.

HOMM

procrasination is my most powerful attribute. why do today what you can do tommorrow is my stand. there's always tommorrow. tommorrow will always come. accomplish not what you can accomplish tommorrow today.

the computer is the deadly accomplice of procrasination. just 5 more minutes to further aid my plans for world domination. 5 more minutes to bring me one step closer to the final showdown between the frost blade and amergadon's blade. gelu the eleven ranger has by brute force snatched/stole and robbed innocent people in order to create the elxir of life.

gem on the other hand, a mighty soccerous (wrong spelling i know) has found another calling, that of a druid. amazingly. druids can choose their own oaths so there's no conflict of interest here. meanwhile, she has been conned by sandro the necromancer to collect and give him various artifacts that aid necromancing skills. he claimed that he was doing anti necromancing researched, he just needed boots of the dead man, vampire's cowl and some other evil artifacts.

now with 2 campaigns down, i'm crag hack! who thinks that wizards are dumb because sandro called him MISTER hack. i quote," stupid wizards! they cant even get other people's 1st names right! it's CRAG hack not MISTER hack!" sandro the mastermind is engaging the services of this not too bright barbarian to capture more artifacts.

i've played this game before. and later on, there will be a final showdown, which will rip the world asunder and survivors will flee this world to a new world, thus, allowing 3DO to create a totally fresh and exciting universe. of course that game has been out for years and i've played that too.

BUT

this winter( i can never understand why singapore still uses this winter. don't they realise there's no winter in singapore) HEROES OF MIGHT AND MAGIC V will be out. WOO HOO!the graphics are amazing and the babes are hot. of course i'll be using the ice queen adelide again. sandro the necromancer is one of the nicer looking characters there. ivor the elven prince who has lost everything in the old world is back and boy would i love to use him. powerful artifacts such as the lion's shield, the unicorn bow, saints sandals will be back, I HOPE. this winter beware

THE HELL HOUND is back.

back to conquer the world, all in the name of justice and peace. of course that's before i move on to render my services to the forces of darkness and attempt to turn every living being into the living dead.

undead for laymans.

PINEAPPLE TARTS

my gf asked me if i wanted some pine apple tarts. i looked into the box and i could only see the pineapple jam...

confused, i asked her where were the tarts.

she looked at me and said, i dun like the jam, so i ate the dough and placed the jam back in the box.

FOR YOU TO EAT.

PENETRATION TEST

i had a beavis and butthead attack today. upon reading the term "PENETRATION TEST", i could not help laughing and smirking at the connotation.

penetration test.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

but penetration test... next i'll have a use my hand to do jobs. get it? HAND JOB.

ahahahaha

fuck, i'm going mad.

I HATE DRIVERS

i hate drivers who weave in and out of lanes
i hate drivers who stray into the adjacent lane without signalling
i hate drivers that suddenly zoom past me with a 5 cm gap
i hate drivers that speed up tp stop me from entering their lanes after i've signalled
i hate drivers that rog hog
i hate drivers that tailgate
i hate drivers that blast their music and then wind down their windows
i hate drivers that do not park within their lot
i hate drivers that zip into a parking lot when i've already signalled that i want that slot
i hate drivers that take forever to park

but most of all, i hate taxi drivers for all of the above and more.

All Tommorrow's Parties

And what costume shall the poor girl wear
To all tomorrow's parties
A hand-me-down dress from who knows where
To all tomorrow's parties
And where will she go, and what shall she do
When midnight comes around
She'll turn once more to Sunday's clown and cry behind the door

And what costume shall the poor girl wear
To all tomorrow's parties
Why silks and linens of yesterday's gowns
To all tomorrow's parties
And what will she do with Thursday's rags
When Monday comes around
She'll turn once more to Sunday's clown and cry behind the door

And what costume shall the poor girl wear
To all tomorrow's parties
For Thursday's child is Sunday's clown
For whom none will go mourning
A blackened shroud
A hand-me-down gown
Of rags and silks - a costume
Fit for one who sits and cries
For all tomorrow's parties

all tommorrow's parties - velvet underground

Editing

i was editing a report and i stumbled upon this error, "The staffs are constantly ...", "the staffs are etc etc..." this error was repeated significantly till i noticed it.

i then told my grp mate, " do u know it's one staff, many staff. not many staffS."

he looked at me and replied," my english not very good one. i type the staff is then got green line, i type staff are also got green line. so i changed to staffs are the don't have liao. so i changed all to staffs are."

spontaneous laughter broke out.

Asleep on a sunbeam... AGAIN

1st my laptop decided to disconnect from the internet.

next, it decided that it did NOT want to reconnect to the internet...

it kept up it's fucked up attittude by refusing all my attempts to reconnect to the internet. it refused my constant pleas as well as my constant clicking on "connect to wireless" commands. i was frustrated, i was helpless and i was desperate. i needed to go on the net so SF and PPS couls send me their files through either the email or msn.

but no, i just couldnt connect. what the fucking hell i must say.

sf and pps resigned to copying the files onto my thumb drive before passing it to me. just when i thought things couldnt get any worst, pps then sits upright and proclaims, " WAH! UR IBM SO GOOD HOR, DONT HAVE MEMORY STICK READER AH..."

dumbfounded and tired i queried, " what is a memory stick...?" (i wish to clear the air here, i do know what a memory stick is, i just forgot what it was at that time. it's called a memory lapse. i'm sure it happens to everyone.)

everyone ELSE bursted into spontaneous laughter... *sigh*

sf added to my misery by happily chirping," oh yah! and my apple can connect to the internet, ur (refer to pps) HP can connect to the internet! ONLY SOMEBODY'S THINKPAD CANNOT..."

she effectively nailed my coffin shut. air tight shut for that matter. i refused to comment, nothing was going to go right. it's just one of those days where no matter how hard u fight, u know you wll not win. yes, today was one of THOSE MISERABLE FUCKED UP HELPLESS DAYS. i was a lamb to the slaughter.

the meeting after that didnt seem to be much better, i was the butt of most of their jokes thanks to N. man... the things that can go wrong, u take 1 wrong step, it steadily gets bad, worst, terrible and simply horrible after that.

belle and sebastian rock. they rock so hard, if u were air and u listened to them, u'll solidify.

hur hur.

Asleep On A Sunbeam

Asleep On A Sunbeam - Belle and Sebastian

When the half light makes for a clearer view
Sleep a little more if you want to
But restlessness has siezed me now, it’s true
I could watch the dreams flicker in your eyes
Lying here asleep on a sunbeam
I wonder if you realise you fascinate me so

Think about a new destination
If you think you need inspiration
Roll out the map and mark it with a pin
I will follow every direction
Just lace up your shoes while I’m fetching a sleeping bag, a tent...

Another summer’s passing by
All I need is somewhere I feel the grass beneath my feet
A walk on sand, a fire I can warm my hands
My joy will be complete

I thought about a new destination
I’m never short of new inspiration
Roll out the map and mark it with a gin
Made my plans to conquer the country
I’m waiting for you to get out of your situation
With your job and with your life

All I need is somewhere I feel the grass beneath my feet
A walk on sand
A fire, I can warm my hands
My joy will be complete

A Thousand Apologies

some people have the knack for getting themselves into shit. more shit than they can ever imagine and they lose some, they win some. but they never seem to learn. or maybe they do learn but they're serverly lacking some sort of "trouble" detector. perhaps they're so adept at detecting trouble but they have the misconception that trouble is actually something good. perhaps they have the bestest intentions or sometimes no intentions at all but events take on a life of their own and spiral out of control, dumping the poor loser into shit again.

call it luck, bad judgement or perhaps one might think he did it on purpose. but who goes around looking for shit to takea bathe in.

Wasting Time

my friend had the most amazing dream last night. he dreamt that mon (my dog) could talk. apparently he was walking past my house and my dog ran out to greet him, he cant remember exactly what he said but he remembered that she ran up to him and started talking to him. then i sauntered to where they were and said, "GOOD DOG!".

end of story.

yesterday was going to be the 1st time i officially played truant. E and i spent like 30 mins deciding whether or not to go for class. if we were going to skip class where would we be going and what would we be doing. finally, when the time for lesson came, E looked at me and said, "lets go for class lah.". i blinked in disbelif. my heart skipped a beat and i said, "NOOOoooooo!!!!" the single longest, loudest no you can ever hear.

she stared at me and remarked that i was the one who told her to make a choice and now that she's made one, i do not want to follow it. bo bian, she said she'll choose again.

this time, she made the RIGHT choice.

as we were walking out of school, i made a remark that this was the 1st time this sem i was skipping class when i was in school. she said that it was her 1st too. man, were we excited. (i know it's nothing much but indulge me please.)

estatic, we began walking to suntec where we would then head to carls junior for a sumptous lunch. we walk and walk and talk and talk when E's hp began to ring. E started talking on the HP and from the tone of her voice and her body language i knew that it could only mean 1 thing.

we had to return to class.

there goes my carl junior lunch and my brillanto plan of studying during his lesson. the class had no electricity, at least the powerpoints for the laptops werent working. boy was i sad. my lappie died after a little while and i had nothing else to do except listen to unprepared groups do their presentation.sigh.

What Women Hear

read the november 3rd post in this blog. no doubt about who A is and definately no prizes for guesing correctly. this is a classic case of selective hearing.

for all the single guys out there, there is something here to be learnt. learn it well for i shall not spell it out for you.

and for the poor souls who are attached, god bless you and learn this well as well to prevent further descecration of your soul.

www.porkchopping.blogspot.com

disclaimer, this is NOT an accurate reflection of what happened that night and i am in no mood not guilty as charged to rebutt it. she can live in denial in the hole that she dug herself.

we all still love you. HAPPY?

What Type Am I?

check this out, quite lame but i got a good rating so i dun really care. http://www.cmi-lmi.com/enterppp.html

and iam a PRIME MINISTER. hahahaha.

your distinct personality, The Prime Minister might be found in most of the thriving kingdoms of the time. You are a strategist who pursues the most efficient and logical path toward the realization of the goal that you perceive or visualize. You will often only associate with those people who can assist you in the implementation of your plan. Inept assistants may be immediately discarded as excess baggage. To do otherwise could be seen as inefficient and illogical. On the positive side, you can be rationally idealistic and analytically ideological. You can be a bold decision maker and risk taker who can move society ahead by years instead of minutes. On the negative side, you may be unmerciful, impatient, impetuous and impulsive. Interestingly, your preference is just as applicable in today's corporate kingdoms.

Surveys

i hate doing surveys and i detest being the one conducting the survey. i hate approaching people and smiling at them when all i want is to kill 5 minutes of their lives. empty promises that it'll just take 5 mins of their time to complete it. who am i kidding. the book is some 40 pages long, granted it's single sided but still, it's too long.

why the hell am i doing a survey for burgers when the most feedback i get is that the survey is too long... they should have a survey for the ideal survey but then again, that just defeats the purpose of having the survey doesnt it. there's just quite no point as no one really wants to waste 5 to 10 mins of their lives doing a stupid fucked survey for macs. seriously, like who cares if a burger is too salty, or if the GOD DAMN FUCKING COMBINATION OF COLOURS OF VEGETABLES IS APPETISING OR NOT. i sure as hell do not and i'm cock sure that almost everyone else there doesnt. hell, people eat the burger without even notice what the fuck they are eating. most just go it was okay...

of course you'll meet the occasion old woman who is relatively still fuckable and quite nice to talk to and to my utter dismay, desperate? I KEED I KEED! but there was this 2 old women who were trying to strike up a conversation with me. they must be blind but then again, maybe they are just desperate. i mean who goes i come to macs once every 2~3 months and smiles. i smile back and say,"then i must be sure as hell lucky to meet you here don't you think?" she smiles back and says something completely out of this world like," haha! (coy smile) you must be pretty lucky to meet me here too. perhaps we should keep bumping into each other..." O.K. just freak me out. your age group says 25~29 but i believe, add at LEAST 5 to that number for a CLOSER age. i mean my sister is 27 and she looks 18. you look well, 36 and you claim to be 24 who's earning more than 5 k a month. 1, ur a genius and society really values your skills and you just happen to look old, thus the high pay at your young age. 2, you're old and shitting me. 3, you old and shitting me and trying to impress me with a 4 digit or above salary.

but okay, fine. i had another one where i was talking to her in english, reading the question in english and thinking in english. the only problem was she was talking to me in chinese. i mean what on earth was i thinking chatting her up in english when she was reading the bloody lian he zao bao. and my mind was so deeply entrenched in english thoughts that there was simply no way i could switch modes to chinese. i ended up compensating by say loads of lahs and mahs and hao bah. hao BAH. i hate saying that. that BAH word. don't ask me why, i just hate it. hao BAH. what the fucking hell. it's simply retarded.

and isnt the perfect combination for surveys a guy and a girl? so at least the guy can talk to the girls and the guys who the girl is afraid to approach while the girl can approach the guys and the girls that turn down her male partner. thus, creating a perfect sort of equilibrium where there is enough yin and yang power play. no such luck for me. my partner is in the mother fucking army. the cesspool for sex deprived, under aged and all things in a skirt is hot, thus i must chase it men. no i change. boys. he's like 19 and i'm like some kind of been there done that big brother. like hey, i dun think i can ask those people, you go leh... what a nice way to say why dun i take point and get myself totally and utterly humiliated. thank the lord above that thus far i've been lucky enough to not get turned down by the people i've approached so at least i've got some face left. maybe it's the pathetic eyes that i stare at them with, that melts their conviction and shatters their stoicness. sad to say, it works on aunties the best. but then again i comfort myself knowing that at least if i cant get anyone i could always be a pimp, though not too good looking a pimp at that. but it sure beats surveying.

i've smelt so much macdonalds i do not ever want to smell or taste another macdonalds burger again. it's simply repulsive. oh and i've been doing it for 6 hours. well done adrian, you are DA MAN MAN... in fact you are such a man, FOR ME TO POOP ON!

No Big Deal

Had an mpw interview and we borrowed a mp3 player cum recorder from a member of our group and I learnt a major lesson.

NEVER say mushy things into the player when you’re attempting to figure out whether it works or not. If you do do what I told you never to do, then at least have the decency to delete it. Imagine letting other people hearing your sweet nothings to ur significant other. Haha. How unsoundly.

Anyways, we were searching through the jungle of sound files in the mp3 player, trying to figure out which clip was the clip used during the interview and we heard this.

All this is in Chinese and is translated to English to the best of my significant abilities.

GF, “Start already!”

BF,” my girlfriend is very pretty.”

Okay, I didn’t need to hear that, though it’s no big deal. But still…

What The Fuck

i have had the most boring week of my life in school.

nothing's happening and nothing seems to be moving, there's nothing to do, nothing to look forward to and nothing to excite me or make me bitch. i must say, i am in bliss. full and total bliss. life has never been quieter. on hindsight, i've also realised that one can hear the most amazing and shocking things about people when you actually bother asking around.

and i am either dumb and naive or my sources are lying.

and walking together with my ah lian friend who some people seem to think is too funkily dressed or too attention attracting can provide some hard ass laughter. people just look at us, EXPAND their irsis and start gaping. it's hilarious. this is boring. sorry for putting you through this boring and mundane post. one must understand that i do not meet mother fuckers, bitches and bastards everyday.

neither do i talk to bimbos who have nothing better to reccomand than earth quake proof buildings in singapore. =) oh and i do not happen to be the only one who tinks so. so in this case, it's not just me.

okay, i do talk to many bimbos but they do not say bimbotic things that are worth repeating everyday. in fact, it is few and far between.

i just saw the dragon boaters run past me and i must say, they look FIERCE. like a bunch of abled bodied, testroone? pumping mucles. enshrouded under the cloak of darkness. boy of they look fit and strong. maybe it's my eyes, maybe they do look like they're ready to kill. and who better to be running in front than their awe inspiraing commando trained FL? haha. u know who u are. type the words back one space to the left. haha. boy do u rock. u make me wanna start running again. hahaha.

good thing i removed the tag board. at least now no one can reply. or at least ah, never mind. i do not wish to stir up yet another hornets nest. i'm ball-less, chicken and a scardy cat. bite me.
i'm shamless and without pride. lick my balls.

creative mp3 players rock. they just need better marketing. okay they suck. but if they had better marketing, they would be cool. hell. apple managed to make the shuffle look cool. how the hell is that remotely possible. that thing has no screen. limited buttons. and is such a cheap electronic piece of shit. and still it's selling like hot cakes. and the shuffle function is suddenly so cool. like what the fuck. what the hell. people invented the shuffle function like eons ago but everyone wanted a screen. everyone wanted to know what was playing. and now they launch something called the shuffle and suddenly it's OK to not know what ur listening to. it's OK to not have a screen. in fact, it's COOL to own a shuffle. btw, a shuffle costs less than $30 to manufacture. imagine the amount of profits they are reaping in.what the fuck.




what the fuck....









what the fucking hell.....