Delusional

SERIOUSLY... haha, i'm the dua bicep guy...

I brought my cousin to buy a drink

and he say the “used by” label… He then asked me, why is it used by 10/10/07 when I was the one who drank it.

ID TEN T ERROR

seriously, dunno what it means? write it out....

and only people who have ID TEN T ERRORS write like this.

PENG

an innocent comment like "lian's songs are pretty good huh?"

got me a reply," so-so only lar"

"but u like the magnet one and the goldfish one was hers too..."

"yah, EVERYONE IS BETTER THAN ME. *sulks and faces the wall*"

omg. like what did i say now....

Fuck

fucking please pull your own weight in the course of a project.

nothing sucks as much as having people not pull their own weight in projects and the thing that makes it worst is when those mother fuckers are your friends. or as far as i would stretch the word friend. some people never made it past the threshold and some barely. but almost everyone would hear me call them friend, friend or not. at least i dun go 1 step further and call u brother when i don't mean it. brothers are reserved for brothers. people would not only will be there but have been there more importantly. promises and assurances i've received and given aplenty. but the word brother is reserved for a select and miserable few.

at the end of this sem i've decided never to do projects with x people in x project groups. and if u think it's u, it's probably you.

cause if it's not you, you probably would not think it's you. but u have a pretty good idea who it is.

I didn't say he stole my money

I love the lessons during tax planning. You learn so much more than what you could possibly hope to learn. This I would always remember. At least for the next month or so… how 7 words could have so many different meanings.

I didn’t say he stole my money.

I didn’t say HE stole my money. (someone else did)

I DIDN’T say he stole my money.
( someone else said it)

I didn’t say he STOLE my money
(I lent it to him)

I didn’t say he stole MY money
(he stole somebody else’s money)

I didn’t say he stole my MONEY
(he stole something else)

Isn’t it magical how one sentence could have so many meanings….

I'm losing it.

as i get older, i feel more and more out of touch. i'm just a tad too unhappening and it doesnt help that i'm starting to surround myself with people that's just about as unhappening as me.

is it fashionable to say hi with the peace sign? i think it is the peave sign. during my time, it was called the v- for - victory sign. the one with your whole fist clenched and facing outwards. with ur index and middle finger extended in the shape of a V. never mind what it's called. i always thought it uncool and lame. and relegated it to what anime characters do in order to express a point.

but today, from afar i met a friend and gave him the upper head nod of acknowledgement. and he looked at me and gave me the peace sign.

and i grew a little older. being able to understand what my parents must be feeling when they used to see me wear pants 3 sizes too large to school...

Act Ang Moh

this was taken from KK's blog,

Now and Forever

Now and forever, you are a part of me
And the memory cuts like a knife
Didn't we find the ecstasy, didn't we share the daylight
When you walked into my life

Now and forever, I'll remember
All the promises still unbroken
And think about all the words between us
That never needed to be spoken

We had a moment, just one moment
That will last beyond a dream, beyond a lifetime
We are the lucky ones
Some people never get to do all we got to do
Now and forever, I will always think of you

Didn't we come together, didn't we live together
Didn't we cry together
Didn't we play together, didn't we love together
And together we lit up the world

I miss the tears, I miss the laughter
I miss the day we met and all that followed after
Sometimes I wish I could always be with you
The way we used to do
Now and forever, I will always think of you
Now and forever, I will always be with you

- by Carole King

I remember the first time i heard this song, during the 5th grade.

UH HUH, in the 5th grade. REALLY, 5th grade.....
as if u had EVER been in the 5th grade....

Sponsorship

due to a lack of funding from the uber rich school who has set aside tons of money for the developement of their students, we've decided to source our own sponsor ( a fellow student who's uber rich...)

You know there's something wrong with you when...

1. you start to think your friend's sister is getting more and more attractive.
2. it doesnt help that she's attached.
3. you start to cry.
4. you get upset when your friend who you think is your gf but she doesnt think she's your gf doesnt want to go watch your soccer game.
5. it doesnt help that she doesnt watch soccer.

you know there's something really wrong when u add up the above. ie, all of the above.

Funny Quotes

found this site when i was stumbling and it's really, really funny.

1.	Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
2.	The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music.
3.	Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
4.	It's your god. They're your rules. *You* go to hell.
5.	Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.
6.	War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.
7.	If pro is opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress?
8.	I once prayed to god for a bike, but quickly found out he didnt work that way...so I stole a bike and prayed for his forgiveness
9.	Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them.
10.	If you think things can't get worse it's probably only because you lack sufficient imagination.
11.	A train station is where the train stops. A bus station is where the bus stops. On my desk, I have a work station...
12.	You can't be late until you show up.
13.	Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.
14.	My god carries a hammer. Your god died nailed to a tree. Any questions?
15.	Knowledge is realizing that the street is one-way, wisdom is looking both directions anyway
16.	Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.
17.	A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic.
18.	The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources
19.	Advice for the day: If you have a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: Take two, and KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN.
20.	books have knowledge, knowledge is power, power corrupts, corruption is a crime, and crime doesn't pay..so if you keep reading, you'll go broke

TOO COOL

my new name is



adrian atom ant.

how cool is that. just call me triple A.

and because i'm not triple A.

i'm too cool for AFA.






and while in a gsr doing work, dk asks me, "how do u say bo bian in english?"

Analogies

in a moment of boredom, i shooke the table while looking at by and proudly shouted," EARTHQUAKE!"

she then took the spoon, placed it into my himalayan tea latte, started stirring and proclaimed, " TORNADO!"

and i went, " u mean whirpool....."

a friend was telling me that another friend of mine wants to play board games and he was pressing her to play when he dropped the bombshell.

u go organise then let me know.

upon hearing that i concluded that what my other friend is doing is akin to shitting and then asking my friend to wipe his ass.

nothing gets me feeling down and fucked up like AFA can. at least i've gotten my internship.

and i'm really wondering who reads this piece of shit now a days... i've got wind that an someone who i would never have thought read my blog reads this. and while i might have posted something offensive, i've mediated it and hopefully it doesn't look as bad now. dammit. i should change to livejournal or xanga or something like that. someone give me a program that will give me the home address of anyone who visits my blog please.

ta ma de

i love telling people to move the fuck in, when i'm trying to get on a crowded train. there's just something about the door that somehow attracts people to it. rather than move in and create space for themselves and the rest, they're somehow very happy squeezing in the front what bastards.

and i just love looking at their fuck faces and shouting, " can you move the fuck in?" and seeing their reaction, ranging from outrage to indifference to shock gives me my kick of the day.

i fell alseep for 3o mins and in that time, i've heard my doorbell ring, which i couldnt be bothered to answer. and there was no one else at home. so... too bad. i told myself it was my imagination. but then, u dun imagine u heard the doorbell ring. right? i hope i'm wrong.

i got 7 msn msges ranging from requests by people asking me to check on other people (weird) and people asking me for websites (for projects) and people telling me their teddy bear is called moggs, cause it's a jedi bear so it needs a jedi name and to a sudden reappearance of people that had completely vanished to people asking me what did 0 say to 8....

in case u didnt know, 0 said, so fat already still wear belt. that one really cracked me up...

then i got a phone call that really woke me up. my friend found a love diary belonging to me in his cupboard. dated 2003... like really. and no, i do not keep love diaries. never did, very unlikely will. uh huh. apparently it's a my melody diary given to me by my friend's friend who incidentally was my gf at that time. it chronicled our life together for the 1st month. the funny thing was that i only remembered being together with her for 1 week but perhaps it was a month. haha. errrr not suprising that no one else introduced their friends to me anymore. but it really wasnt my fault. and she was a really nice girl. i felt that she was too good for me. but as time passes, no one is really too good for anyone anymore. they all just come and go. somehow that's changing too. cause there's someone who has came. but not going. at least not anytime soon. bah. i digress. no wait, i cant even remember what i was talking about.

look out for the next rugby mailer. they yr 2s are really out doing themselves with every mailer. seriously they're good. but then again, they've only sent out 2 emails and i believe that people will think that we're the most egoistical, unfeeling, self centred and arrogant people in SMU. but then again, i'm not denying that we are. when you're good, you've just got to ride the wave and let everyone know how good you are because no one really knows how good you are till they either see it for themselves or hear it. since no one can see a match that wasnt filmed down again. we just have to tell them.

i hate ontrac. i got both my internship offers and i accepted one of them. rejecting the other in the process. when lo and behold, the next morning, i get an email telling me to confirm which internship i want by 22th oct.

AND DO NOT ACCEPT ANY OFFERS TILL THE 19TH MORNING. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.

and the only reason i can think of is that the big 4 may retract offers. i spent 1 hr and found out that all the bug 4 had already sent out offers. so if all the offers are out, everyone can accept no? why are we told not to accept? the only reason is that the big 4 might retract offers. that's why they're telling us not to accept 1st. fuckers. i'm dead. if dt retracts, i'm so dead. i've already by accepting dt rejected kpmg. like seriously, a case of jumping the gun.

tamade chao chee bye.....

and this is a damn bimbotic conversation...


g/ i asked for nothing. says:
i havent read it yet
later tonight i go n read
mid term canot discuss rite
pk ( company law prof, her name was mentioned to provide me information about whose midterm she was talking about)
or can ah
hahaha
Ser Puff - smu rugby: proud winners of every toin coss. says:
can lar
can even open discussion
consult everybody
g/ i asked for nothing. says:
shiok le
this rox la
Ser Puff - smu rugby: proud winners of every toin coss. says:
then check answers also (sounds damn sarcastic doesnt it...)
g/ i asked for nothing. says:
hahaha
then i study for f?
Ser Puff - smu rugby: proud winners of every toin coss. says:
cause if everyone thought like u....
no one would know the answers...
g/ you're such a psycho, it scares me. says:
hahahaha tts true
hahaha
ok so i go n study
mayb i can contribute tmr (RIGHT.....)
muahaha
Ser Puff - smu rugby: proud winners of every toin coss. says:
that sounded damn bimbotic...
g/ you're such a psycho, it scares me. says:
hahahahahaha
i am a bimbo what (open declaration of love here)
muahaha
hahaha ( i dunno what the double laugh was for... disturbing are my friends.)
Ser Puff - smu rugby: proud winners of every toin coss. says:
g/ you're such a psycho, it scares me. says:
come online tonight
then again
i think i wont study
NO NEED TO STUDY
muahaha (what a round about way of convincing herself not to study)

p.s in case u read it, there's really no need to study cause it's really open discussion. i was just trying to be sarcastic to scare u. but it obviously failed. but no worries, ur happier that way. :D

sound bites

hey adrian, go do the toin coss can?

toin coss....

yeah, toin coss.

u mean coing toss.

right.

when adrian comes back.

aye i won the toin coss. shit. coin coss. nono. toin toss. fuck lar. i won the flipping of the coin.



what's an auditor general?

the general of auditors.



what's a dtl? (afa team for deferred tax liability)

damn that's low....

Bored

"Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Support your answer with a proof."

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So, we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion (christianity, islam), you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:
(1) If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
(2) Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by a friend, "That it will be a cold night in Hell before she (jessica alba) sleeps with you," and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in that area, then (2) cannot be true, and so Hell is exothermic.

i am bored...

yesterday i was at ntu and i saw an ntu poster which i am trying to get by to pass to me. and it said, a lot of event in stalled for you.

Library

i'm sitting in the library staring at the rain and it's surreal. the wind blowing, the branches swaying in the wind. the total chaos 10 metres in from of me is the total opposite of the calm, quietness and peace in the library. as i sat there watching, i suddenly had this thought of ants. those poor mother fuckers must be dying in the storm....




there's 21 people in front of me and not a single guy. wait. an indian man just sat down. yes indian.... maybe i should discount him cause there're no indian gals in front of me. and he's southern indian. i havent seen non indian chick fancy a southern indian man. not that it's impossible. highly unlikely.

i digress. there's 1,2,3,4 .... 21 gals who cannot make it in front of me. refer to any other male about the meaning of cannot make it. that makes it 21 out of 21 gals that cannot make it... smu is really losing it's focus. what's the use of producing top quality female graduates if they cannot make it? sigh.... smu's killing us by producing intelligent gals that cannot make it.

how they're doing it?
1. these girls will go on to work, earn money and probably have high expectations.
2. nobody wants these girls as they're quite cmi (except guys who cmi)
3. but among the cmi guys that would chase these girls, only the really cmi ones who fail both in the looks and brains deparment will be interested in them
4. these cmi girls would not want them
5. we now have not only these group of cmi girls not reproducing
6. we also have a bunch of really cmi guys who want to reproduce but have no one to do it with
7. these cmi guys would probably go on to do things like rape, murder and rape, kidnap and rape, rape and rape etc
8. following genetics, more cmi people will be born
9. the cycle repeats itself....

oh boy, what a doomsday thought i've conjured in 10 minutes....

no i wasnt the one that made the mosaic.

Apologetic?

guys, i publicly apologize to weipeng for the mosiac over his body. please forgive me, though it was DM's idea. im sure he's sorry too.

But weipeng's popularity is skyhigh now so it can only be a good thing for the team.





i love the part about though it was dm's idea, i'm sure he's sorry too....

En's " next time when i'm playing with my kids, i'll tell them not to be like uncle horse,

50 years old, still not married, playing with his PS 10..."

Nicks

Sometimes I wish I could go around changing my msn nick so as to poke fun at other people’s msn nicks. Be it bad English or a pun on their nicks or something as blatant as telling them that their emo fucking nicks are just that. Too emo and too fucked up.

For example, if someone’s nick was “ today I and Jane fucked.”

Doesn’t he know that it’s always Jane and I? do not be such a self centered narcissistic bastard please. The world neither revolves around you and neither does it spin only for you. Please. Perspective here…

Or when someone’s nick is “never betray the trust that was given to you…”

Is it me or isn’t that obvious? Why do people break the trust placed in them…

1, you’ve obviously misplaced that trust…
2, you’re unimportant
3, there is something better to be gained from breaking that trust
4, you’re a fucker and by default, all your friends are fuckers

Or perhaps you’re simply reminding yourself not to break a trust which has been placed upon you. But if you have to put that on your msn nick to remind yourself, you are really 1 dumb mother fucker.

Anyway, what’s up with putting such a nick on? Are you trying to tell that special someone not to break your trust? Which is just stupid because the sheer fact that you had to tell that someone not to break it means you can’t trust the person. So why trust him in the 1st place…

And if someone did break your trust, don’t you think it’s already too little too late to tell the person that you know? How petty is that…. Just pretend you don’t know and shove an umbrella up his ass and open it.

Another example is “ The bird of the Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame.”

Uh huh.. The bird of THE Hermes… it’s a god, for goodness sake. It’s like going, I am the Adrian ong. Instead of Adrian.

When I 1st read it I was like wtf. Who wants to be the bird of the hermes… it was just weird. And upon googling (oh no, I might get sued for this), I came upon this

The Bird of Hermes is my name,
Eating my wings to make me tame
Hiding the face which many would fear
And allowing a facade to appear
Devouring that which lets me soar
So that I can be accepted forevermore

What conformatism. Such valour. It’s akin to eating one's balls off when your on a deserted island so that you can be one of the girls. By eating your balls off, you would essentially be hiding the face which many would fear! How cool is that. And no doubt, you would be devouring that which lets YOU soar!

I now fully understand why people would want to be the bird of Hermes. BIRD.

WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Which just proves my point. Do not write bad English, and if you ARE quoting from somewhere, at least make sure it is WRITE. ( I know it’s right)

And speaking of right words. My boss asked me, “ how do u spell except?” and I went, E-X-C-E-P-T. she went I mean I take your present except. I was like A-C-C-E-P-T.

And she went, those 2 words always get me so confused….

Shoot me please.

if you see your nicks here, please do not get offended. your identities have been protected and more importantly, you aren't supposed to know about this blog. so WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE.

WEI PENG

this was hilarious! sorrry peng, i really didnt know they were sending this out. but judging from the responses that i've got and u've gotten, i believe this really made an impact!

haha.

How to piss someone off

How to piss someone off 101

Eliminate Dihydrogen Monoxide!

from Tulsa Computer Society; via Tulsa (OK) Ostomy Association NEWSLETTER

A freshman at Eagle Rock Junior High won first prize at the Greater Idaho Falls Science Fair, April 26. He was attempting to show how conditioned we have become to the alarmists practicing junk science and spreading fear of everything in our environment. In his project, he urged people to sign a petition demanding strict control or total elimination of the chemical "dihydrogen monoxide."

And for plenty of good reasons, since:

1. It can cause excessive sweating and vomiting,
2. It is a major component in acid rain,
3. It can cause severe burns in its gaseous state,
4. Accidental inhalation can kill you,
5. It contributes to erosion,
6. It decreases effectiveness of automobile brakes,
7. It has been found in tumors of terminal cancer patients.

He asked 50 people if they supported a ban of the chemical. Forty-three said yes, six were undecided, and only one knew that the chemical was water.

The title of his prize winning project was "How Gullible Are We?" He feels that the conclusion is obvious.

A little wordplay for lovers of words ;)

1. A bicycle can’t stand alone; it is two tired.
2. A will is a dead giveaway.
3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
4. A backward poet writes inverse.
5. In a democracy it’s your vote that counts; in feudalism, it’s your Count that votes.
6. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
7. If you don’t pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
8. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
9. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I’ll show you A-flat miner.
10. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
11. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
12. A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.
13. You are stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.
14. Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under.
15. He broke into song because he couldn’t find the key.
16. A calendar’s days are numbered.
17. A lot of money is tainted: ‘Taint yours, and ‘taint mine.
18. A boiled egg is hard to beat.
19. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
20. A plateau is a high form of flattery.
21. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison: a small medium at large.
22. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
23. When you’ve seen one shopping center you’ve seen a mall.
24. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.
25. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she’d dye.
26. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
27. Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses.
28. Acupuncture: a jab well done.
29. Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.
30. A divorcing dessert chef would fight for custardy
31. At a bar: Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder
32. Language is fun, sometimes funny and sometimes punny.
33. An auction: a place where you get something for nodding
34. I thought out of maybe 10 of these puns, one would make me laugh but unforunately no pun in ten did.
35. Atheism the only non prophet organisation
36. seven days without water makes one weak.
37. Morons need Lessons
38. Is your smug psychic over-charging you? Perhaps you can strike a happy medium.
39. When making whipped cream churn it a little longer, it’s butter that way.