Tuna

i was wearing this...



by told me she didnt know i wear wearing a hot tuna fake.......................

hot tuna looks like this.



for the better informed i believe u would have made an inference to this



but then again it's a matter of perception.

My Missus

conversations with my missus can be perplexing at best...

when i asked her what time were we meeting her friends...
"erm, i think 930."
"u didnt confirm with them?"
"nope."
and we got played out in the end.

while we were getting lost (pun fully intended) from a friend she said,
" this is so cool, we got lost, before going to ntuc and finally finding our way home."


she eats this contraptions called mooji balls, basically i quote," very chewable dough" with the dickhead covered in chocolate. the thing is she eats everything else but leaves the chocolate covered head untouched cause "i dun like chocolate."

While you were sleeping

I HAVE BEEN A BORED BORED MAN...

WITH ACCESS TO A BLOG AND MSN AND LO AND BEHOLD. THIS IS WHAT I HAVE DONE. ENJOY.









in case ur wondering what i meant by the last one, look for the name *karen*

Intelligence

hey so where u now?

i'm on the way. tell u what, to save time, i'll meet u all straight at pasta mania

errrr.... then where did u think we were meeting originally?

JUNCTION 8.

and where is pasta mania?

JUNCTION EITCH (eight that turned into bitch. eitch)

the above conversation happened with KK. (JUST IN CASE U WERE WONDERING WHO I WAS REFERING TO.)

Get a life

i cant stand the way you always have to be right

i hate the way you act, as if you know it all when it's glaring that your talking crap.

i despise the way you talk, as if you always have an ace up your sleeve, or that your so god damn fucking experienced or that you can do no wrong.

i hate the way you're never early or on time.

i don't understand why you never seem to believe what i say. it's as if you seem to believe that you have to do what i advise you not to do just so to prove me wrong.

i hate the way i'm right most of the time. because it makes me wonder what the hell is wrong with you.

i can't understand what is that competitiveness in you. that when i inch forward on the red light u have to inch forward too... u think u're going to get a gold medal for moving off 1st on the red?

i hate the way u used god as an excuse behind every thing that happens to you. "oh god doesnt want me to be attached. it's better for me this way." or " oh she's not the one for me. i believe god made me see that." or " i'm trying to be closer to god." perhaps i'm just too cynical to believe that people genuinely believe in god. but i've seen too many people hiding behind the veil of godliness that i cannot stop questioning even the best christians. when does it remain god's will and when does it become our own? it's always so easy to let god take all the blame, so easy to believe that what ever happens to you happens because god wants it to happen. reminds of a story of what a thief who got caught told the judge. "god helps those who help themselves." followed by the rebuke, "now that you've helped yourself, god help you." i've seen people go on and on about how they would only date a christian and that it was wrong to date a non christian but when they get together with a christian, " oh it's god's will. he wants me to change her." balls, u just want to get into her fucking pants for crying out loud.

i cant understand how you can go around calling everyone else your best friend when they seem to come and go but you cling on to it. i cant help but feel you need to have a best friend.

i hate the way you cant lose.

no matter what i said i just want you to know that you're a dear friend and this is just something i had to get out of my system. anyway i dun think you read my blog. so if you think it's you, it's probably not you.

BORED!!!!

i'm too bored at work. i've starting counting how much i've earned by the half hour. i started at 16 dollars and now i'm at a total of 100... still counting.

my friend smsed me that gayle nerva was out of the singapore idol. i say FUCK ALL U DUMB FUCKS WHO DIDNT VOTE FOR HER. not that i did vote for her but rather wouldnt u people like to see at least 1 pretty face... who else is worth watching... not rahima. not the other indian fat ass with the powerful voice... jesmine tan looks weird and i am not gay.

my instant reponse was WAH FUCK LAH. CHEESE BUN. FUCKING HELL. CHEE BYE...

another lazy night went by and i couldnt take it anymore... " wilson, is there anything for me at all..."

"nope!"

"then can i go home?"

"nope! just sit there and earn ur ot."

" i feel damn bad... plus i'm damn bored."

"are u going out?"

"no..."

"then sit there."

damn damn damn damn damn.

fucking du lan...

the other perm staff are all playing online games and i really wonder where they get their games from cause the only fucking games that i can play are on the disney channel. now how retarded is that... i mean i'm playing games for the mental capacities of 6 yr olds... me, 23 playing games designed to challenge 6 yr olds...

and i still wanna see gayle nerva man. what would i give to bed her. hahahaha. oh of course i didnt mean that.

i say!

CHINESE

PROVERB

ABOUT

MONEY
(my mom sent me this and i'm reading it at work.... and i was thinking to myself now not true...)




WITH MONEY YOU CAN

BUY A HOUSE

BUT NOT A HOME

(but without money, you cant buy the house to have a home! unless you fancy living in a carboard house home. and dun tell me how you might be living in the slums and be happy because we all know it's not true.)




WITH MONEY YOU CAN

BUY A CLOCK

BUT NOT TIME

(but without money, you cant buy the clock to tell the time!)




WITH MONEY YOU CAN

BUY A BED

BUT NOT SLEEP

(but you can sure buy a bed to have better sleep... unless you like sleeping on the floor with news paper serving as a pillow and blanket...)




WITH MONEY YOU CAN

BUY A BOOK, BUT

NOT KNOWLEDGE

(who needs knowledge... i can hire people with knowledge to do my work and earn me more money to hire even more people with better knowledge to earn me even more money with which i can etc etc)



WITH MONEY YOU CAN

SEE A DOCTOR,

BUT NOT GOOD HEALTH

(ever wondered why so many people in africa die from diseases despite being born into such a hardy environment that gives then a better immunity aka better health?)



WITH MONEY YOU CAN

BUY A POSITION

BUT NOT RESPECT

(same logic as the knowledge one... but if i had so much money, why would i need respect. its not like i want power. i do not need respect to drive a slk and neither do i need respect. i dread the day when someone comes up to me and goes u may have all the money in the world but i dun respect u. while i just take a million dollars and slap him silly with it.)




WITH MONEY YOU CAN

BUY BLOOD

BUT NOT LIFE

(refer to africa)







WITH MONEY YOU CAN

BUY SEX

BUT NOT LOVE

(and i can sure buy all the sex i want. jessica alba, maggi q, etc etc)

i've discovered the beauty of bit torrent abit slow but i must say it's the 2nd time i'm using it. the 1st time it was so terribly slow that i gave up. but this time, it is much better.

came back from ubin and here are some pics.

















and they had scare crows there, tons of them.

this one even has hair....










i love the way the restaurent keeps the red wine together with the coke etc etc.




fucking litter bugs

Precise motors

I am currently sitting inside the office of a car workshop not so patiently awaiting the return of my car to me. A car that had an accident while I was overseas in Thailand, Bangkok to be more precise. That was not due to my reckless driving ways. This fact cannot be more apparent due to the nature of my absence. My mom on the other hand was the number one suspect since she was using the car way more than I was while I was overseas and she was adamant about not being the one who had the accident.

It was only last night when my sister came home for dinner that I realized that she was the one who had the accident. And of all cars to hit, she had to hit the one car in the whole damn world that I did not want her to hit. Now, I am paying for the repairs, god knows how much that is going to cost, plus I’m stuck at the workshop waiting for my car which they had told me would be ready “after lunch”. Apparently lunch does not end at 1. neither does it end at 2. but rather, it ends at 3 and I’ve got a nagging feeling that I’ll be stuck here till 4.

I’m going pulau ubin tomorrow. Gosh am I excited. I can’t wait to ride my bike there. Granted it’s been more than 10 years since I’ve ridden her. Her name is Pegasus II. The sentimental side of me which was so much more apparent 10 years ago gave her that name after I gave up Pegasus, now known as Pegasus I. I’ve just sent my bike for full servicing and was shocked to hear that it would cost me only $30-$40 to completely bring her back up to fighting fit. Hopefully she passes her FFI. J

It’s been a real long time since I’ve ridden a bicycle. Motorbikes do not count. And I’ve concluded, the basics of riding a bicycle and a motorbike are essentially the same. However, dynamics cannot be more different.

It’s similar to sashimi and steamed fish. They’re both fish, they both require a lot of skill and effort but yet by nature, they are inherently different. And after riding a motorbike, I’m neither as daring nor as reckless when riding a bike. Simply due to the fact that I feel naked without the sheer weight of the machine holding me to the ground. The bicycle now feels flimsy and light compared to a motorbike, this feeling is made worst without the muscle that I’ve grown so accustomed to in a motorbike.

Oh woe is me.

It’s really funny how the boss is trying to talk to me. It’s not only the fact that we live in 2 different eras, plus that fact that we come from 2 very different backgrounds. It probably explains why I can’t really get along with my dad and my uncle. We’re just so different. And it probably explains why the 3 of them are such bosom buddies. Though as far as bosom buddies go, I’m sure I’m not getting a discount on the repairs that I am doing, neither do I believe that they are not going to make a handsome profit out of the repairs I’m doing. This sucks.

Btw, the boss has been to jail for cheating. Cheating NTUC who if you ask my honest opinion is the biggest cheater of them all. For starters, to my knowledge, they’ve been waging a war to wipe out all private car workshops. First, they started by insisting that all cars insured by them would have to go to their certified workshops for repairs. The only exception is that if you were completely blameless, then you could go to a workshop of your choosing. For the less well informed, everytime there is an accident, the new rules apply. That means that all parties involved in the accident must now come out of their vehicles, write some stupid joint statement thing that describes how the accident happens and who is at fault.

Fundamentally I believe it is just wrong. Imagine if you had an accident on the expressway and both of you were happily filling in the joint statement form and from behind a car comes up and smashes into you.

Plus the fact that no one is going to happily fill in a form that says he is at fault and thus, causing the accident.

Talking to the owner is an eye opener, he was telling me stories of how people driving without valid licenses have changed drivers. Offering a small nominal sum of anything of $1000 - $3000 not including paying for the damage to your car. How drunk drivers pay more than that to ensure that you do not report him to the police. Boy is this world shady or is it just me.

Now I’m wondering why has no one offered to pay me. If I had 1 accident a week which I made $2000 on the average, I could be a very wealthy man. and that is just a sideline.

Why women cannot travel...

or rather why women cannot do without men while traveling.

KK while we were trying to find our way to pat pong.
"excuse me, do u know how to go to phrom poong?" she asks a average thai on the street who doesn't speak much english.

" take this way."

"it's pat pong my dear... not phrom poong...."

"SORRY FOR HELPING. B-I-T-C-H!'

while we were leaving for singapore, i said perhaps it'll be best if we find out which terminal our flight was at. and BY looked at me with the god-you-sure-are-dumb look and said, " there's only ONE bangkok airport RIGHT..." complete with the rolling of eyeballs.

and in my heart i was thinking there's only ONE changi airport too RIGHT.

it's amazing how women can go back to the shop twice and still not be able to find their way back the 3rd time.

BY when bargaining.

"how much?"
"$450 bhat!"
"$400 bhat!"
"OK!"

it's amazing too how long women can take to figure out how to open a safe. a safe which uses my credit card to open. i told them to learn and while one was applying make up, the other was just in limbo pretending to be busy.

10 mins later. " aye, how do u open the safe?"

"aye! did u hear me?"

"BITCH! !#$#^#$%@#! how do u open the safe!!!!!"


and don't u just love it when u go," what shall we do tommorrow?"
and everyone looks at you and proudly proclaims, " ANYTHING. YOU DECIDE!"
fantastic. it's as good as saying i don't want to think so you can go wreack your brains and decide what we should be going.

and it had better be good.

the day before our flight i can confidently say i was the only one who knew our flight time, our arrival time, our flight number etc etc.

Sabo Me

ong: wake me up in 30 mins.
kk: ok

after 30 mins .....

ong moves.

kk: oi it has been 30 mins.

ong makes funny noise and slips over.(which i do NOT remember doing at all.)

at 845am .....

ong: wah lau never wake me up, sabo me.
kk: i told you to wake up.
ong: sabo.

-.-"

i really thought u wanted to slp somemore. oh well! *chuckle*