Name Your Penis

My penis's new name is Darth Vader the Terrifying Photon Canon.
Take Name Your Penis by badasstronaut. today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Name Generator Generator.

Lord Wilberforce

want to find a chick magnet?

get an apple. 

it's a chick magnet. now i'm not debating the quality of chicks it attracts, a fat and ugly chick is still a chicken, maybe we should call it a hen... but what if the chick is young? would young hen suffice? maybe we should call fat, ugly and young chicks yens. hahaha. and fat, ugly, young and lianish chicks lens. LOL.

So states the great Lord Wilberforce.

Wiberforce. what a name. what does Wiberforce stand for? for one, we all know what force is, it's MASS X ACCELERATION. to get a big force, u either have big mass or blinding acceleration. if ur talking tusnami force, hainv both is an excellent idea. now what does wilber stand for. wil is a short for for will. do we concur? so if wil = will then wilber = willer. i stand to be corrected. if 1 + 1 = 2, then Wilberforce = willer + big mass + big acceleration, which would translate to somebody who has a strong will to enforce his will upon others (Lord Wilberforce is a chieft justice or something like that in England) that carries great weight as well as forcing changes quickly. thus, Lord Wiberforce. it also explains why he is a fucking famous and apparently influential lawyer in great old blue blooded england.

they say u are what u eat, if that is true, i must survive on a steady diet of shit shit and more shit for all the shit that i am churning out.

there's this girl sitting on the opposite table she keeps looking at me, knowing how physically unattractive i am, i conclude she's either looking at my laptop, looking at my zen neeon or looking at both and wondering what kind of sick and demented idiot i must be to be using an i book while listening to a zen neeon. it's like eating a mushroom swiss and having macdonalds fries. they not only look out of place together, they also cost more.

but then again, maybe i have a warpped conception about my ability to attract members of the opposite sex. i would love to believe the latter but the former stands victorious.

who on earth is walter woon. it sounds like a game show. where oh where is carmen sandiago carmen sandigo! walter woon, i rather be playing where's wally instead of playing this bitch of a game called "lets TRY to decipher what on earth walter woon is TRYING to tell me." am i suprised that his textbook is thick and unreadable?

no.

it's just another one of those devious ploys lawyers conjure so as to get clients to waste time and money 1) PRTNTING IT OUT. (it's not 5 cents per page) 2) SPEND MORE TIME ON CONSULTATIONS TRYING TO UNDERSTAND WHAT THE HELL THEY ARE SAYING. since amount of time spent enlightening us unenlighten folk has a direct and positive correlation to the amount of money they earn, i am not suprised at all.

ps it doesnt help that when i call for help (regarding company law) the 1st words i hears are "i charge $5 per hour, the time now is XXXX ur time starts now." and the last thing i hear is " i made money today!!!!"

TAX

woe is me, i hate tax class. the lecturer redefines the meaning of lame, the readings are written in latin and my understanding of tax is the equivelent of a girl understanding a map. WOE WOE.

my lecturer looks like she just stepped out of the "THIS 70'S SHOW." complete with knee length skirts and high collar shirts. not only do they look retro, they're old. but i must say she is enduring in her own way. the way she bought chocoloates for us JUST before chinese new year, i must say, she's the only prof who did that. nice nice. nice young old lady. she has the most interesting sense of humour. it's so old school that it's hilarious. as i always believe, if the intention of a joke is to get the people to laugh, scant difference if they're laughing at you or at your joke. she scores a 10/10 there. no questions about that.

i hate the mrt. hate hate hate. if u wanna get out of the train fucking say excuse me. dun keep pushing and nudging and forcing your way out. doing the above against someone obviously stronger than u means u probably will not get your way. what do u do next? shout "CUSE!" what happens next? the obviously stronger person goes, " fuck lah, wanna go out say lah, keep pushing. fucking moron." and u end up missing ur stop cause u stopped to glare at him.

hur hur.

i'm not saying i'm the obviously stronger person.

i always though oh wei ming was ong wei meng. haha. shyte. okay, this is NOT to be reflected to him since he already knows that.

the repurcussions of taking tax, u end ujp blogging instead of listening. oh woe is me.



i love that. i wish my think pad (once it's stopped crashing and starts functioning again) could do that. if not, i hope it's gone beyond all hope of repair, the mac book pro looks damn nice. and i could start getting used to it. hahaha.

i can never understand how people pull strings. it never happens to me. EVEN WHEN I HAVE PEOPLE WHO COULD TRY TO PULL THEM IN THE ORGANIZATION.

wtf.

woe is me, how unhelpful can some people get. all i get from them, "i can help u look at ur cv."

died. WOE WOE!!!!

i hope i get my internship. please please please.

i'll be a real good boy 

J A double Z Y to the D

woe is man for the laws of physics no longer hold true. 10 people come out of a train and only  wow! did u see that? 

WTF!!!!!! SO MANY APPLES.

as i was saying  , only 5 can go in. it's just not right. man i love .

it's so 

did i say it looks so 

 omg!

i like like a kid in a  shop

hahaha.

blistering s

an  a day keeps the doctor away

why cant i use  on my think pad

oh, my think pad didnt eat nuff s, he's not thinking right now. it's a he because beacause.



if i caant see  when i press publish, somebody gonna get a hurt real bad. SOMEBODY.

I'm just a crosshair

So if you're lonely
You know I'm here waiting for you
I'm just a crosshair
I'm just a shot away from you
And if you leave here
You leave me broken, shattered
I lieI'm just a crosshair
I'm just a shot then we can die

and then there was light.

opening ceremony was a bomb. free flow of beer courtersy of by's genius in photocopying the stubs that let u get more beer for free and ron's dubious (but real) unlimited supply of stubs as well led to me drinking as much as i wanted, as long as i wanted. no questions there.

the final 2 cups of beer (a result of us giving away beer to anyone walking past us) led me to go to supper with a few friends when lo and behold! i found a bag and a laptop. A GODDAMNMUTHERFUCKING LAPTOP. boy if i sold that laptop i'll be outta debt now man. confirm. CONFIRM. or better still, i can have a laptop at home, and 1 in school! how cool is that! no more lugging my laptop to school and home. with 2 laptops i've effectively redefined the meaning of mobility.

HALF-DRUNKLY i went to the bag and lap top (i swear with the intention of finding out whoose it was) when Mshouted, DO NOT STEAL IT. JUST LEAVE IT THERE!!!!

just leave it there... where are ur morals boy and do u really think i would have stolen it.

m being really drunk stood there and stared at me, daring me to take it and begone when i saw a guard. i promptly called the uncle to open the bag and check whoose it was,(partly to relieveM and to prevent M from flying into one of his self rightous bouts. anyways, they belonged to my friend (sigh that's why i'm still in debt)and i returned it but of course.

but what was the laptop doing there in the 1st place? hmmm... no i was NOT entrusted to take care of it and obviously who ever was entrusted to take care of it didnt do too good a job. worst, maybe the person left it there. blame my luck that i knew whose laptop it was and decided to return it. damn. now if only i didnt know whoose lap top it was. hahaha. i'll be rich. like bill gates rich.

stayed in school till 430 drinking and partying in school. it's shocking how much fun a pool table, dart board, table scoccer and 6 bottles of beer can give u. coupled with tons of prepacked but uneatened food strewn all over school, we had quite the party. food, booz, women and (lacking) drugs.

Starting Over

Today, I left once again an old life behind me-not because it was boring or worn out- but because we are like a snake, sometimes being forced to peel off its skin, even though it had really liked the pattern of it.It is interestingly difficult to leave the intimacy of a carefully structured every-day life and stand up to face the challenges of the raging unknown.But in the end it is what we are here for- denying that would be denying our humanity.So I'll just go with my fellow warrior (or at least, well, kind of) Churchill

"This is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning."

Starting Over

Today, I left once again an old life behind me-not because it was boring or worn out- but because we are like a snake, sometimes being forced to peel off its skin, even though it had really liked the pattern of it.It is interestingly difficult to leave the intimacy of a carefully structured every-day life and stand up to face the challenges of the raging unknown.But in the end it is what we are here for- denying that would be denying our humanity.So I'll just go with my fellow warrior (or at least, well, kind of) Churchill

"This is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning."

What did i say...

WHAT DID I SAY?

One Art

One Art

The art of losing isn't hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster.
Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn't hard to mater.
Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant
to travel. None of these will bring disaster.
I lost my mother's watch. And look! My last, or
next-to-last, of three loved houses went.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.
I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.
--Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shan't have lied. It's evident
the art of losing's not too hard to master
though it may look like (*Write* it!) like disaster.
--Elizabeth Bishop

Reap what u sow

talking to my friend on msn.

friend,"hey, what time u going to MOS?"

me,"NIGHT TIME."

friend,"u fucker."

and then i didnt reply, being preoccupied with other distractions. oh the day of the party i smsed him, " hey what time u gg down? wanna go togeter?"

"NIGHT TIME" was the curt reply.

i died when i read it.

Holiday

i love it when my parents/father is overseas. it means

1) i have the whole house to myself
2) no one is there to bug me
3) i have TWO cars to choose from
4) parking, erp and petrol will be paid for until my car is depleted and my dad's car is depleted to a REASONABLE level. the reason for reasonable is because i cannot deplete it to the level of my car ( which is when the petrol warning light in on and my car card reader beeps every time i go through a gantry
5) i have absolutely no curfew at all. in fact, the only thing that keeps me coming home is the well stocked frigde and store room which as a matter of fact, can feed a section for a month.
6) the "EXTRA" / petty cash set aside in case i run into some dire need of cash.

all in all, i must say 2006 got off to a mighty big bang.

"no buildings will fall down! no quake will spilt the ground, the sun will not swollow the sky, statues will not cry!"

I love the sound of you walking away

"i love the sound of u walking away. the sound of u walkin away. why don't u walk away! the sun wouldnt swollow the sky!"

this song is being repeated over and over and over in high volume but low capacity brain of mine. it's ability to capture and focus on the most inanae things (like this stupid song for example) never ceases to amaze me. while other more"important" things like STUDYING for one is shelved, pending further notice or a lack of time.

this blog is dying. god only knows if it'll be dead and gone. meanwhile, i shall quote," i blog sporadically. does that make me a spogger?"

Walk Away

Iswapped my innocence for prideCrushed the end within my strideSaid I'm strong now I know that I'm a leaverI love the sound of you walking away, you walking awayMascara bleeds a blackened tear, ohAnd I am cold, yes, I'm coldBut not as cold as you areI love the sound of you walking away, you walking awayI love the sound of you walking away, walking away, hey heyWhy don't you walk away?Why don't you walk away?Why don't you walk away?No buildings will fall downDon't you walk awayNo quake will split the groundWon't you walk awayThe sun won't swallow the skyWon't you walk away?Statues will not cryDon't you walk awayWhy don't you walk away?Why don't you walk away?Why don't you walk away?HeyI cannot turn to see those eyesAs apologies may riseI must be strong and stay an unbelieverAnd love the sound of you walking away, you walking awayMascara bleeds into my eye, ohAnd I'm not cold, I am oldAt least as old as you areAnd as you walk awayOh, as you walk awayOh, as you walk awayMy headstone crumbles downAs you walk awayThe Hollywood winds will howlAs you walk awayThe Kremlin's fallingAs you walk awayRadio Four is staticAs you walk awayOh, as you walk awayOh, as you walk awayOh, as you walk awayHeyThe stab of stilettoOn a silent nightStalin smiles Hitler laughsChurchill claps Mao Tse Tung on the back

babies

on having more than 2 babies

"i must thank my parents for being the rebels that they were. for not stopping at 2. i must have been quite the bundle of joy for there was another after me. but gladly, the story ends at 4."