Surveys

i hate doing surveys and i detest being the one conducting the survey. i hate approaching people and smiling at them when all i want is to kill 5 minutes of their lives. empty promises that it'll just take 5 mins of their time to complete it. who am i kidding. the book is some 40 pages long, granted it's single sided but still, it's too long.

why the hell am i doing a survey for burgers when the most feedback i get is that the survey is too long... they should have a survey for the ideal survey but then again, that just defeats the purpose of having the survey doesnt it. there's just quite no point as no one really wants to waste 5 to 10 mins of their lives doing a stupid fucked survey for macs. seriously, like who cares if a burger is too salty, or if the GOD DAMN FUCKING COMBINATION OF COLOURS OF VEGETABLES IS APPETISING OR NOT. i sure as hell do not and i'm cock sure that almost everyone else there doesnt. hell, people eat the burger without even notice what the fuck they are eating. most just go it was okay...

of course you'll meet the occasion old woman who is relatively still fuckable and quite nice to talk to and to my utter dismay, desperate? I KEED I KEED! but there was this 2 old women who were trying to strike up a conversation with me. they must be blind but then again, maybe they are just desperate. i mean who goes i come to macs once every 2~3 months and smiles. i smile back and say,"then i must be sure as hell lucky to meet you here don't you think?" she smiles back and says something completely out of this world like," haha! (coy smile) you must be pretty lucky to meet me here too. perhaps we should keep bumping into each other..." O.K. just freak me out. your age group says 25~29 but i believe, add at LEAST 5 to that number for a CLOSER age. i mean my sister is 27 and she looks 18. you look well, 36 and you claim to be 24 who's earning more than 5 k a month. 1, ur a genius and society really values your skills and you just happen to look old, thus the high pay at your young age. 2, you're old and shitting me. 3, you old and shitting me and trying to impress me with a 4 digit or above salary.

but okay, fine. i had another one where i was talking to her in english, reading the question in english and thinking in english. the only problem was she was talking to me in chinese. i mean what on earth was i thinking chatting her up in english when she was reading the bloody lian he zao bao. and my mind was so deeply entrenched in english thoughts that there was simply no way i could switch modes to chinese. i ended up compensating by say loads of lahs and mahs and hao bah. hao BAH. i hate saying that. that BAH word. don't ask me why, i just hate it. hao BAH. what the fucking hell. it's simply retarded.

and isnt the perfect combination for surveys a guy and a girl? so at least the guy can talk to the girls and the guys who the girl is afraid to approach while the girl can approach the guys and the girls that turn down her male partner. thus, creating a perfect sort of equilibrium where there is enough yin and yang power play. no such luck for me. my partner is in the mother fucking army. the cesspool for sex deprived, under aged and all things in a skirt is hot, thus i must chase it men. no i change. boys. he's like 19 and i'm like some kind of been there done that big brother. like hey, i dun think i can ask those people, you go leh... what a nice way to say why dun i take point and get myself totally and utterly humiliated. thank the lord above that thus far i've been lucky enough to not get turned down by the people i've approached so at least i've got some face left. maybe it's the pathetic eyes that i stare at them with, that melts their conviction and shatters their stoicness. sad to say, it works on aunties the best. but then again i comfort myself knowing that at least if i cant get anyone i could always be a pimp, though not too good looking a pimp at that. but it sure beats surveying.

i've smelt so much macdonalds i do not ever want to smell or taste another macdonalds burger again. it's simply repulsive. oh and i've been doing it for 6 hours. well done adrian, you are DA MAN MAN... in fact you are such a man, FOR ME TO POOP ON!