men & women


got this in an email, thought it's amusing. okay actually i got this from wee nee's website and i tot it was really funny. there credit given where it's due. =). so dun go ard saying i plagarise ur blog. and anyway even if i were, u shld be so flattered that someone is. HA. JUST BITE ME. wat a sec, u copied this too! haha. anyways.


Remember the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"? Well, here's a prime example offered by an English professor at an American University.

"Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The
process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or
her immediate right. One of you will then write the first paragraph of a short
story. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another
paragraph to the story. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so
on back and forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time
in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be absolutely NO talking and
anything you wish to say must be written on the paper. The story is over when
both agree a conclusion has been reached."

The following was actually turned in by two of my English students: Rebecca
- last name deleted, and Gary - last name deleted.

STORY:

(first paragraph by Rebecca)
At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The
chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded
her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile.
But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His
possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma
started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.

(second paragraph by Gary)
Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now
in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the
neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent
one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17, he said into
his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance
so far..." But before he could sign off, a bluish particle beam flashed out of
nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The force from the
direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.

(Rebecca)
He bumped his head and died almost immediately but not before he felt one
last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had
feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities
towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently
Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The
news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window,
dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with
no newspapers to read, no television to distract from her sense of innocent
wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's
innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.

(Gary)
Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of
miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its
lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the
Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a
defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy
the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian
ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the
entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical
plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The
President, in his top-secret Mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor
off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized
poor, stupid, Laurie and 85 million other Americans. The President slammed his
fist on the conference table. "We can't allow this! I'm going to veto that
treaty! Let's blow 'em out of the sky!"

(Rebecca)
This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing
partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.

(Gary)
Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at
writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh shall I have chamomile tea?
Or shall I have some other sort of F*CKING TEA??? Oh no, I'm such an air
headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels."

(Rebecca)
Asshole.

(Gary)
Bitch.

(Rebecca)
Wanker.

(Gary)
Slut.

(Rebecca)
Get f*cked.

(Gary)
Eat shit.

(Rebecca)
F*CK YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!!!

(Gary)
Go drink some tea - whore.

(teacher)
A+ - I really liked this one.