True Files

“serious man, you fucking missus is nuts. My missus is nuts and all, she rings me at least 40 times a day…. Serious!”
I seen you last night, you were drinkin' in the pub,
You were drinkin' with that bird you tried to chat up in the nightclub,
Can't say her name but she's got a gammy eye,
And I'm feeling near her violence when I have to walk on by,
You can't deny it, it's something you can't miss,
That bird thats hangin' out with you is mad like cats piss,
Like bread and jam or a knife drawn with butter,
Face it son, your missus is a nutter!
Chorus-
Oh son, your missus is a nutter!
Oh son, your missus is a nutter!
Oh son, your missus is a nutter!
Leave her at home! Your missus is a nutter!
I never seen a woman make a fuckin' skinhead cry,
And I never seen a woman tryin' to snap an arm with a thigh,
Now I have and its just across the pub,
And the worst thing is,
she's taking you out for a rub,
You don’t deserve it, you know it’s a fact,
But mix her up with booze you gotta suicide pact,
2 tequilas and 4 vodka mules,
She's a wrecking ball and her fists are the tools.
Binge drinking, binge drinking tried keeping up with your missus,
What was I thinking?
She looks like Caprice,
But it’s a shock to see her wrestling 2 police,
With one in a headlock!
Fighting with bouncers and flashing her bits,
After too flamin’ sambucas she dont care who she hits,
Waking up on Sunday morning with bruises and cuts,
Face it son, your missus is nuts!
Chorus
Your missus was looking at my missus,
So my missus, sparked out your missus,
Your missus was looking at my missus,
So my missus, sparked out your missus,
It was last week, what really got me thinking,
About how your missus goes nuts when we go drinking,
Last week, she ended up on a binge, she got off her tits,
And showed the bouncers her minge,
And it’s the threat of grievous bodily harm,
She needs to keep calm,
And use her charm,
I used to think it was funny,
It made me laugh,
When she threw the ash trays at the bar staff.
Stabbed a man with a comb, just to get a drink,
Theres no logic, just stand there
Drink, fight, drink, fight, drink
She grabs your throat, and stares into your eyes,
Have you ever seen a woman kill a man with her thighs?
Oh son, your missus is trouble,
Everytime you have a drink she has a double,
Is she on pukkas?
I think shes tripping?
Stop lookin' at me love it's water what I'm sippin'.
Break-
“I seen her get on a mountain bike, and drove into timbland (?) and did ‘em all in…. wikkid”
Repeat chorus X 3
(over third chorus)
(pussy whip, pussy whip….)
“shes nuts man, shes off ‘er

GLC - your missus is a nutter

by, during an england vs wales football match, this band performed this song, dedicating it to david beckham. imagine the look on victoria adams face. priceless.

it's true, i've dated someone like this and it's no joke i'm telling you. for all of you who know who she is and are quietly sniggering to yourself, go fuck yourself. the only difference is that she does not need to drink. she's already at that stage.

the more i think about whether my dad will get me a new car, the more i feel it's jut wishful thinking on my part. knowing him the chances that he'll do something like that is almost next to nil. sigh.

driving through this road at pierce last night brought back bad memories... i skidded there once almost a year ago and even now when i'm racing through that exact bend, my hands start getting cold and my feet start trembling. i instinctively stepped on the brake despite conciously telling myself not to. sigh. $50. good thing that the guy who was behind me really sucked. and i would not have gone there if i wasnt hard up for cash in the 1st place. but it was an easy $50. too bad he couldnt stomache losting another $50. was really hoping he would ask for a rematch. but then things dont always go the way you want it to yah. sighs.