ASSHOLE

i remember when i was a kid and going out costs 20 dollars, usually less.

now i'm an adult and going out costs me around $100 everytime. like frymyflamingballs.

i love clubbing, the girls, girls and more girls. being attached is one thing, looking is another. =)

i almost got caught for drink driving last night. as i drove up along upper bukit timah road, i saw the tell tale signs of a police road block. being one way with no way out (i mean if there was then it wouldnt be called a road block would it?) i calmly slowed down like all good singaporean drivers would and subjected myself to police scrutiny. he looked at me and was about to wave me through when he saw my brokeback looking salsa friend slouching on the chair with the I-AM-DRUNK-AND-I-KNOW-U-THINK-I-AM-DRUNK look. instead of waving me on, he looked at me again. i looked at him. and i seriously thought he was going to ask me to go to the side of the road when i sent "wave me through, i am not drunk" jedi mind tricks at him.

being the padawan that i was, it somehow worked and me waved me through but the look on his face was another story. it was a look of WHATTHEFUCKAMIDOINGWAVINGHIMTHROUGH. but yeah, i got through. later, mr brokeback told me that the only time he sat up at a road block he got called out of his CAB. yes, CAB. like how loser is that. hahaha. he's not a ca driver by the way. so this time he just continued slouching and acting tough.

like thank u very much.

mr brokeback also said that the reason the guy let us through was because of my shirt. it's an attica shirt with a skull on it. how punk is that, i bet i scared the police officer shitless when he saw it.

to get the facts right, i wasnt drunk when i was driving. i'm too responsible for that. i had my last drink at 2 am. i got that drink from a danish man. i met JK and she was asking for a drink like crazy, it's the 1st time someone asked me to buy them a drink, ME. so a drink i tried to buy for her. at the bar drunk danish (DD) came up to me, placed his hand on my shoulder and said, " U R AN ASSHOLE!" like what the fuck mr ang mo. u come to my country to cherry makan and u call me an asshole? i looked at him and asked him why is that so. he shouted back, because i'm an asshole! and he started laughing to himself. he then got so happy he said he would buy me my drink! woohoo, i should have bought a jug.

then he started saying, if u can guess where i'm from, i'll buy u ur drink, if not u buy me mine. and i mean hello, i bought a mug, u bought 1 jug... do the fucking math. but he had a good 50 cm on me and hands that can crush walbuts... i obliged. i said "GERMANY!"

NO, UP NORTH!!!

switerland?

NORTH NORTH!

NORWAY!!!! (i thought i had it)

SOUTH!!!!

(at this point i swore i could have killed myself, i pulled upon all my modern world history and soccer knowledge) denmark?!

UR AN ASSHOLE!!!!

AND UR AN ASSHOLE TOO!!!

he then goes into a denmark promotion campaign. if u can tell me what's the capital of my 5 million people country, i'll buy u a drink!

i huffed, and i puffed and i blew his house down. COPEHAGEN!(wrong spelling but i dun care, this was from all the battletech novels i read, or maybe it was soccer, or olympics but dun ask me how, i just knew it.)

afriad to pay 10 bucks for my drink he said, last qns! if u can answer it i pay for ur drink if not u pay for mine.

now by this time i was bored, u fucking chao ang mo, no money do not disturb a singaporean. and a smart one too. p.s, i might look drunk but i sure as hell aint. i just LOOK.

he asked me how many people there were, plus minus 0.5 million there were in his country. note, he already told me the ans to that.

i looked at him and said, "give her ur card! there're 5 million people in denmark!"

we both started shouted asshole! asshole for a good 3 minutes. like wtf.

anyway, back to drunk driving, i had my last drink at 2, and at 330, i downed like 2 teh o's and 1 teh o with ice and 1 prata. i was convinced that what ever alchol that was left in my system was flushed and gone. through and through.