if

the results are coming out. all hail the results.

fry my effing balls. i hate exams and i hate results but above all, i hate waiting for the results. how cool it would be if i were a medival knight and all i had to worry about was my sword arm and which maid to bed. that'll be cool. it'll be wicked.

i w0uld simply challenge any other assholes to a duel and rip his heart out after dicing his balls. of course if they were the better swordsmen, i would give him the dame. and poison his meal afterwards.

if my queen was a QILF have no doubt that a marc anthony or lancelot i would be. there's nothing more coveted than another man's bitch.

while riding into battle, i would delibrately slow down my house enough so that i would not be the tip of the wedge. no, statistics show that only 5% of people leading the charge survive. while as a knight i have no respect for the odds, i believe in letting the others have 1st blood. it's harder cleaning up the pieces.

my horse would be the eqivalent of a bmw 6 series. expect, it'll be arrow proof, sword proof and with the special ability to breathe fire and kill anything within a 5 m radius. in addition, it's bullet proofness and sword proofness would extend to the rider, ie, me.

my sword would be able to kill people at a thought. ie, i think he should die and he would die. it would thus qualify as a magical sword. why would you want a sword that has flaming runes, swords that never rust, swords that never need sharpening, swords that can cut through anything. no, mine's far better. if i think your dead, your dead. i do not even need to hold it.

as for armour.... hmmm. i'm always wearing impregenable, invisible, weightless armour. it's top of the line. in fact, it only stops things from hitting me. erm, it's omipresent. so i never have to take it off, oil it, etc etc.

the troops under me would be undead. this way, i would never worry about sanitation, food, morale, pay, betrayal etc etc. besides, what other troop inspires fear the way zombies do.

and if ever, some stupid witch tells me no man may kill me, i would check if any woman, baby girl, baby boy, horse, dog, wolf, bear, boar, etc etc might be able to kill me too. 1 macbeth is enough. this knight is smart.