I got no school tommorrow!

AND THIS MEANS I GOT NO SCHOOL BECAUSE



Btw, RB means paradise building. Paradise...

Almost all of my room mates. the last one almost got laid the 2nd day he was here.




no wonder he's not in the picture.

after dinner we called for the bill to be spilt. and everyone tipped like 10 to 30 crowns. a swiss took all that money because he had 2000 crowns.

AND HE DIDNT TIP THE WAITRESS.

And upon discovery, a german shouted," THE BLOODY SWISS ARE DOING IT AGAIN! MOTHER FUCKERS!"

on a brighter note, at the party later on, all drinks were on the swiss.

Sir? Leave me alone!
Just a minute of your time.
Accept Jesus! NO!

You are The Fool

The Fool is the card of infinite possibilities. The bag on the staff indicates that he has all he need to do or be anything he wants, he has only to stop and unpack. He is on his way to a brand new beginning. But the card carries a little bark of warning as well. Stop daydreaming and fantasising and watch your step, lest you fall and end up looking the fool.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Ash - Lost in you

Alying wide awake under strange skies
Wanting to call you, but it is late at night
And youre far away, but you are always on my mind

I feel like Im on fire, nothing I can do
Im troubled with doubt, though I know it is not true
And its times like these when I am dying to speak to you
Dying to get through, Im dying to speak to you
Dying to get through, Im dying to speak to you.

Staring at the wall, I sink inside
I think about it all, I get caught up in my life
I cant think straight, because its tearing up my mind

I feel like Im on fire, nothing I can do
Im troubled with doubt, though I know it is not true

And its times like these when I am dying to speak to you
Dying to get through, dying to get through

The more that I think how I need you
The more that I think, the more it seems true
And now it means more that I ever meant it to
Ever meant it to
Lying wide awake under strange skies
Wanting to call you, but it is late at night
And youre far away, but you are always on my mind

You are always on my mind
You are always on my mind
You are always on my mind
You are always on my mind
You are always on my mind
You are always on my mind

While drinking I said to my swiss room mate. Heads I win, tails you lose. 1 won 3 beers before he realised.

A canadian was asked a german, "how do you say(rather softly) You've got beautiful eyes in czech?"

The german jumped off his chair," WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!"

And I officially hate Italian men. The bloody pricks. Bragging about driving a BMW in Italy.

"So, how much is a BMW in Italy?"

"Oh, about 20 thousand euros!" (he was bursting with pride)

"WOW! THAT'S REALLY CHEAP!"

"Oh really? So how much is a BMW in singapore?"

"I'm not sure but I think a 6 series costs around 250,000 euros!"

"..............."

Now the COE is really a good thing. SUCK SHIT ASS YOU ITALIAN BASTARDS.

What is it about me that makes people think that I just don't care. Or do people just assume that I don't care because they think that I don't care so they would not get hurt if I didn't care.

hello everyone. sorry about the lack of updates, im travelling the world and i cant find the single " so forgive the grammer. spain totally rocks, its vibrant, energetic and safe. italy on the other hand is like a man way past its prime. hanging on to past glories as the only trophies left. i will update you guys once more the moment i land in prague.

tango 25 out.

It would be really sweet if you would come up to prague.

Today, my friend got pickpocketed. or rather, she left her bag hanging behind her on her chair. the damage of 100 euros, 1 driving license and 1 identity card wasn't nearing as bad as knowing that someone had stolen your bag and it was no one's fault but your own.

On the way to the supermart later, she was brandishing a 100 euro bill while crossing the road. Once bitten not shy.

Oh, i'm in barcelona and somehow company's better when it's smaller.

i hate it when things don't go my way. but i'm guessing not everything can go your way. if you don't mind it doesn't matter but too much of the former leads to too little of the latter.

at times, i really wonder how it would be like to go off into the sunset on my own, with unlimited cash and my backpack and me. and unlimited cash.

On the topic of what he's doing in school till 530, my friend said he's setting up a club. (I'm too lazy to copy the thing and post it as pictures but the below conversation is 100% true and unedited.)

MerV - Let's begin the next and LAST campaign!! says:
smusex
Puff says:
what the fuck

MerV - Let's begin the next and LAST campaign!! says:

Puff says:
so what do u guys do there?
MerV - Let's begin the next and LAST campaign!! says:
mass orgy
Puff says:
wtf
haha
that's damn sick
so who else is in the club?
MerV - Let's begin the next and LAST campaign!! says:
smu
Puff says:
who's smu?
MerV - Let's begin the next and LAST campaign!! says:
up to me
Puff says:
ur president?
MerV - Let's begin the next and LAST campaign!! says:
emepror
Puff says:
emperor!
woah!
haha
MerV - Let's begin the next and LAST campaign!! says:

Puff says:
so now ur mervyl cock gaylord emperor of smuSEX
correct?
MerV - Let's begin the next and LAST campaign!! says:
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
eh come to sch leh
i nd entertain ment until 530
Puff says:
what happened to ur club members?
MerV - Let's begin the next and LAST campaign!! says:
shagged out
Puff says:
so fast?
ur the emperor lei
MerV - Let's begin the next and LAST campaign!! says:
ya they're weak, not like their strong emperor
Puff says:
oh so they're shagged out
not u?
MerV - Let's begin the next and LAST campaign!! says:
i'm all conquering !!!

the blanks are emoticons, use ur imagination.

It's amazing how much hype a parie dog can cause.







and for those who remember zoolander, yeah the one that malaysia banned...

She's terrible confused in this show, she doesnt know if she's speaking chinese or cantonese. When she wants something, she goes HAI and when she doesnt want something, she goes BU.
And the chinese master is so typical of all chinese period dramas...




But i still love this show and this is a reason why.



Realise how he dies from the 5 dunno what dunno what heart exploding etc etc?



classic.

Who I am hates who I've been

I watched the proverbial sunrise
Coming up over the Pacific and
You might think I'm losing my mind,
But I will shy away from the specifics...

'cause I don't want you to know where I am
'cause then you'll see my heart
In the saddest state it's ever been.

This is no place to try and live my life.

[Pre-Chorus]
Stop right there. That's exactly where I lost it.
See that line. Well I never should have crossed it.
Stop right there. Well I never should have said
That it's the very moment that
I wish that I could take back.

[Chorus]
I'm sorry for the person I became.
I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change.
I'm ready to be sure I never become that way again
'cause who I am hates who I've been.
Who I am hates who I've been.

I talk to absolutely no one.
Couldn't keep to myself enough.
And the things bottled inside have finally begun
To create so much pressure that I'll soon blow up.

I heard the reverberating footsteps
Synching up to the beating of my heart,
And I was positive that unless I got myself together,
I would watch me fall apart.

And I can't let that happen again
'cause then you'll see my heart
In the saddest state it's ever been.

This is no place to try and live my life.

[Pre-Chorus x2]
[Chorus]

Who I am hates who I've been
And who I am will take the second chance you gave me.
Who I am hates who I've been
'cause who I've been only ever made me...

So sorry for the person I became.
So sorry that it took so long for me to change.
I'm ready to be sure I never become that way again
'cause who I am hates who I've been.
Who I am hates who I've been.

Of being extra and unwanted.

Weekend Cars

A friend just told me that her sibling got fined driving a weekend car during the peak hours without a valid pass. This then caused me to do some research on weekend cars which lead me to some conclusions.

The weekend car (distinguished by a red license plate) is also known as the WEC scheme which is also known as the OPC scheme. As to why there’re 2 schemes to essentially the same thing, don’t ask me.

There’s nothing regarding penalties of violating the WEC/OPC scheme on LTA’s website while www.onemotoring.com.sg has 1 liner saying offenders can expect to pay around $10,000.

I proceeded to go to the Singapore Statues and check out the exact penalties. I threw searches relating to the WEC/OPC/Weekend cars and nothing came up. I finally found it under the road traffic act s 11A, under the law, we can be fined up to $5,000 for not displaying a pass on their 1st offense and up to $10,000 for their 2nd offense. What’s really shocking is that

(4) Any person who —
(a) falsifies an identification mark or plate prescribed in the case of a motor vehicle issued with a licence subject to the restriction referred to in subsection (1); or
(b) displays, or causes or permits to be displayed, a falsified identification mark or plate on such a motor vehicle,
shall be guilty of an offence and shall on conviction be punished with a fine not exceeding $20,000 or with imprisonment for a term not exceeding 12 months or with both.

Like what the fuck! That’s a total of $20,000 if I displayed an expired road sign while driving during the peak period without a valid sign right? FLAMING TESTICLES.

Who wants a weekend car now!

And no wonder they made finding such information so difficult. Now if only I could get official figures on how much they make from people who fail/display incorrect passes/illegally change the number plates.

Clothes are the most important

zi says:
i got the prelim prospectus dear
zi says:
dated 17th jul
Puff's Horyuken! says:
cheh. the prelims lar...
Puff's Horyuken! says:
a lot of figures have changed.
Puff's Horyuken! says:
i think
Puff's Horyuken! says:
haha
Puff's Horyuken! says:
no
Puff's Horyuken! says:
i'm sure
Puff's Horyuken! says:
lol
Puff's Horyuken! says:
ur out dated
Puff's Horyuken! says:
tsk tsk
Puff's Horyuken! says:
bimbs ah bimbs...
zi says:
hahah erm it doesnt' really affect me actually
zi says:
but it's ok, as long as my clothes are not outdated
zi says:
who cares abotu prospectus anyway
zi says:
they're just pages of rubbish put tog by those poor pple on the lower ranks of the banking corporate ladder who prob just copied and pasted from some where
zi says:
clothes are so much better
Puff's Horyuken! says:
yeah as long as the clothes are in fashion
Puff's Horyuken! says:
nothing else matters
Puff's Horyuken! says:
i like totally agree
zi says:
TOTALLY

I’ve been on a does of Chinese period dramas, mainly the Condor Heroes and what strikes me as the most amazing is not their ability to jump 100m up into the air, or be able to lift 1,000kg using their internal energy but how they are always ready to spring into action and execute amazing twists and turns, WITHOUT WARMING UP. To further compound the problem, most of them are middle-old aged men.

Since coming in at 8am this morning... I've bought fruits, breakfast and processed about 10 pages of changes courtesy of the clients. It is now 6pm and I've earned $88 bucks. If I stay till 7, i would have earned a cool $100 dollars, which is just about enough for a day's expenses in europe. WOW.

Needless to say, I'm mega bored. Talking to Bimbs was the highlight of part of the day. Now i've found a new tennis khaki. But not just ANY tennis khaki but one who plays only in short skirts, hits imaginery top spins and stares at the world wondering how the hell are they not able to see her shots but secretly pleased that it's so fast no one else can see it. One who calls a tennis basket or tennis ball basket a ball picking machine with holes underneath it to pick up balls. One who has a secret weapon in the form of a sword stuck in a stone (just a really expensive tennis racquet). Who affectionately calls me Himbs after I named her Bimbs. But you've got to give her credit. She knows that you can't dislocate your eyeballs by constantly rolling them, which explains the constant rolling.

:)

Tennis soon and that weird fish place that you mentioned!

And she hides an insult within a praise by saying I'll make a good auditor...

In return, Bimbs, you'll make a great insurance agent!

It's either i'm imagining i'm getting one liner responses or i cant seem to respond to those 1 liner reponses.

Poptart rocks, next wednesday again perhaps? Same gang? And i'm not driving.

I swear that if I have a daughter, her room is going to look like yours with fresh lavender flowers every single day.

And the Simpson’s absolutely rocks. Here’s one reason why.


To be continued...

Immediately

It's one of those times where you feel

that you're moving 2 steps backwards with every step forward. And you can't help but wonder why you keep trying. Perhaps it's just easier to not move then stagnation is at least better then retardation. But is it?

Back to my house. Leaving the renovations under the supervision of a woman is not a good idea by a long shot. Thanks to my mom's brillance, we have have power sockets where there was never power sockets. Now, there's power sockets JUST ABOUT EVERYWHERE. And her reason for having them? In case we need them, we don't have to install them... She's obviously never heard an extension or multiplug.

Apparently, my parents decided to install an alarm system in the house too.

Now everytime I walk into the driveway, a mini super nova lights up. Or rather, when I walk to my driveway, my dog runs up to the gate and triggers the light. And you should really see the look on her face when the lights come on. It's like, WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED!!!

My parents went to change the lightning conductor for my house.

And now EVERYTIME there's lightning...

IT FUCKING STRIKES MY HOUSE.

While playing our new WII, i made a comment, "if you're going to spend 18 gold, u might as well spend 20! what's the difference!"

yx (auditor), "the difference is 2 gold."

Alv(engineer at NEA), "i dunno..."

yx, "the difference between an auditor and an engineer..."

The show is over

maybe it's time for another show. A show that I really want to watch this time and not something that just happened to be on television.

Having a talk with a taxi driver really opened my eyes.

They say that my problem is that I don't know what I want.

But if I know what I don't want, then at least I indirectly directly know what I want.

Because if I know what I do not want, then I'll know what I want provided I know everything that I do not want, since by knowing that then everything else would be what I would want.

Linc's problem:

Having too many girls to choose from, he can't make up his mind.

My problem:

Having too many girls to choose from, I can't make up their mind.

Difference:

Linc gets to choose while no one chooses me.

I've just seen the lamest nick ever.

"when sting retires, will he become stung?!"

OH MY FLAMING BALLS.

No one likes to be short-changed

least of all me.

I hate how conversations asking me whether I would like to do something turn into lopsided statements – you are becoming like X. Then why ask for my opinion. But this has nothing to do with me being short-changed. I think.

Snapping at me because although you were sick, you were still out late at night is completely not justified because you were probably still sick because you went to the beach. To sun tan but since there was no sun; you just ended up playing volley ball which is probably the lesser of the 2 evils. With a particular someone nonetheless but it was probably, believably, doubtlessly planned in advanced. But it could just be pure coincidence.

What ever.

I had something on and it just would not be right for me to expect you to stay home because it’s just not you. But I did not expect you to meet him. Or maybe I did, which was why I went out of my way to pop by your place just to say hi (more likely it was to tell myself what an idiot I was, having these groundless idiotic thoughts). Anyway, the point is I went out of my way and somehow I decided that maybe a phone call would be more in line. And you did pick it up (after countless attempts) and you were out with him.

What ever would probably be a lie because it definitely did suck. But at least you were honest.

Factoring how things took a turn for the worst after your trip up north, presumably because you were confused, I can’t help but place 1 and 1 and 1 together to draw a conclusion and it’s all beginning to make sense. At least to me it is, as senseless and groundless as it may seem.

This brings me back to my point. No one likes to be short-changed, least of all me.

and this website is really funny.

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/text/victories.html

The Perfect Woman

Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was, of course, perfect.

One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was driving their perfect car (a Grand Caravan) along a winding road, when they noticed someone at the side of the road in distress. Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help.

There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toys. Not wanting to disappoint any children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle. Soon they were driving along delivering the toys.

Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated and the perfect couple and Santa Claus had an accident. Only one of them survived the accident.

Who was the survivor? (Scroll down for the answer.)






















The perfect woman survived. She's the only one who really existed in the first place. Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and there is no such thing as a perfect man.

Women stop reading here, that is the end of the joke.

Men keep scrolling****.






















So, if there is no perfect man and no Santa Claus, the perfect woman must have been driving. This explains why there was a car accident.

By the way, if you're a woman and you're reading this, this illustrates another point: women never listen.

The Keyword is Interested!

If I could shoot one person for being the biggest idiot in the world right now. I'll shoot myself.

You obviously don't care.

And I'm starting not to care as well.

Can someone please tell me why did I take the god damn mother fucking Panadol?

Seriously. Please tell me why like now!

So much for I think I'm not allergic to Panadol

1. Playing tennis when I feel that I've got a fever coming up is most definately not a good idea.

2. Despite feeling feverish, I decided to go ahead and play tennis from 9 - 11. Some where in the back of my mind I told myself that if i sweated it out. I'll be fine.

3. I've sweated it out, had my fun and I'm so not bloody fucking fine. In fact, we went swimming after the match, NOT smart at all.

4. It was so bad, that I decided to take Panadol which I'm allergic to to bring the temperature down. Instead of taking 1, I took 2. SMART.

5. At 5pm, 3 hours after taking the Panadol, "hey mom, I don't think I'm allergic to Panadol anymore. It's not swollen. (Meaning my eye)"

6. At 7pm, I can barely open my right eye. "Mom, I think I'M STILL ALLERGIC TO PANADOL."

Some people should just know better.

While I was driving someone was knocking the roof of my car....

"hey your roof sounds hollow..."

"it's the roof. there's nothing on the other side."

"but my lexus's roof doesn't sound like this."

NW, "CAUSE THIS IS A JAPANESE CAR. NOT LIKE YOUR LEXUS."

Some people should just know better.
:)

During lunch, we had an unexpected and more importantly uninvited guest who somehow or rather imposed herself on us AFTER we had finished our lunch.

A conversation went like this.

DK "have you guys gone to Pat Pong?"

AO "yeah. go there watch thai girl show."

NW "TIGER? AS IN REAL TIGER?"

DK "yeah, like they show thai girls doing tricks with their... erm..."

NW "WHAT TRICKS? THEY TEACH THE TIGER TRICKS?"

AO "THAI GIRL. THAILAND GIRL. NOT TIGER."

No offense late bloomer.

When I was doing some readings...

Hey are u blogging more because you found out that there are other people reading your blog?

Yar.

So you’re blogging more to entertain them?

Yar.

And in the past 2 days you haven’t been blogging?

Yar.

Why?

What?

Did you even listen to what I was saying? (Giving me the Medusa stare made famous by ***)

Now I am! (At full attention)

If condoms had sponsors

Personally I love the last one. So damn bloody witty. The 2nd last one is pretty cool tool. The rest is so-so.

If you watch the anime demonbane. or rather go wiki demonbane. you'll realise that humans have mystical powers much like soccerers and they get more powerful with the help of a book. called a grimorie, which is like textbooks except they impart powers beside knowledge.

these books also have feelings and they can put forth human appearances. but why are all the books females. and 2 of the characters fall in love with their books.

and they probably end up fucking.

sick.

fucking a textbook.

Raffles Hotel?

My sister has the ability to book a room for herself in the Raffles Hotel.

She hates it that we're sharing the same room.

Today, she went, if I booked a room in the Raffles Hotel for you would you shift out?

HELL YEAH!

mom, " You dare." staring at me.

mom, "And YOU dare!" Staring at my sister.

At the ticket counter

“Hi, I’m here to collect my tickets!”

“For what show?”

“Shrek at 915.”

“Okay, can I have the booking number?”

“I don’t have the booking number, how about my IC?”

“Okay, (keys in IC number)….. Sorry, is your IC number correct?”

Repeats giving and keying in of the IC number.

“Sorry, we don’t seem to have your tickets. Where did you book them?”

“I booked GV Grand…”

“Sorry, this is GV Vivocity.”

If I wear those jeans would I look like Kate Moss?

It’s nice how everything seems better to you when it’s finally yours. Only time will tell if I appreciate it more with the passage of time. But as of now, though it’s just red. To me, it’s the bloody freaking nicest red I’ve seen in my life. Its cool how there’s a USB plug for me to play mp3s instead of playing CDs. I have yet to floor the accelerator but that’s only because it’s not advisable to do so before the 1st servicing. In 1 day, I’ve clocked 150km on it and I can only see that figure exploding once my exams end.

My dog hates it though. She hates the fact that my new baby is occupying the driveway of the house, blocking her view of the world. As narrow as it was, it’s not that it has gotten narrower now, it’s just blocked.

I want to get a spoiler but I am too lazy and stingy to go get one. Actually, it’s more stingy than lazy. If someone had a free spoiler for me, I’ll go get it fixed now. No questions asked.

I want to get side skirts and strum bars as well. An air intake seems pretty cool as well. Hell, just throw in a turbo and that’ll really make my day.

What I want most? I want it to be scratch proof. Something like the tanks in the army. Where you can try and try and try but you’ll never be able to scratch the damn mother fucker.

Bullet proofing might be cool too. I want it to be laser proof, dirt proof, and bird shit proof as well.

I also want it to be a chick magnet. But given how materialistic members of the opposite sex are now a days, that’ll be a tough one. Maybe a holographic projector would be cool. Complete with sound effects that’ll make the less than well informed woman think that she’s getting into a Lamborghini. Now, THAT will be cool. What’s cooler?

Actually owning one.

VROOM VROOM!

My sister's back from China and I am allerigc to her.

Now we're fighting over where we are going to sleep. She wants to sleep in her old room which is now my room. Her reasons for doing so?
"I can't sleep in the other room."

My reasons for sleeping in her room?
"You've got married!"
"I'm having exams!"
"I set up you frigging wireless connection for you!"
"YOU GOT MARRIED!"

Sister
"WHATEVER!"

................................................................

I've been having this mother fucking bad headache and I can't concentrate or do any work because of it. Fuck.

And I realise, I blog when I study mainly because...

I'm bored.

Okay, that was damn weird.

Someone tell me what the fuck is goin on please.

More than this,
you know there's nothing.
More than this,
tell me one thing.
More than this,
you know there's nothing.

It was fun for a while,
there was no way of knowing.

R-Type Final

It’s a little old, a little outdated and I’m a little behind the times playing a game made in 2003. But this game rocks. Gamespot rates it a cool 8.1/10.

The grass is always greener on the other side.

I'm sure that there's some asses with a cap of 4.0 crying themselves to sleep because they want a cap of 2.5.

Face it dick, sometimes, nobody envies you.

This picture won the best picture

for the "it's not my job" category



If you don't get it. You need help.

Sound bite of the day

Hey, what are u going to do for the advance audit cheat sheet?

I'm not sure. I think I'll just write down the relevant controls etc etc.

How are you going to squeeze them in?

I think I'll prob do it in font size 6

Wah, so big ar, I'm going to do mine in font size 2.

Any guesses who said that?

*Disclaimer: This is not the exact way the conversation went but the gist of it is captured. While it is based on real life examples, any resembalance to any person(s) is purely conincidental and unintended.

P.S. That was damn contradictory...

The Unluckiest Man in the World - Space

Oh, you brought a bright summer's day
To my gray stormy heart.
What do you think about love?
Is it such a great place to start?
I just know that this warm glow inside
Feels like an orchestra swell.
And now I know now as well.
You finally made me like myself.

Oh, you broke the hearts of a prince, a doctor, a pilot, a king.
And you fell in love with the unluckiest man in the whole damn world.
The unluckiest man in the whole damn world.
The unluckiest man in the whole damn world.

The smallest of men, couldn't even turn you to them.
They have am morning of lucksKnow all the best clubs in town.
The latest high-fashion suits and their big flashy cars.
But just for the thrill of it if they try it on,
You kick them where it hurts and adios they're gone.
You finally made me like myself.
Oh, you broke the hearts of a lawyer, a playboy, a Georgian, a pimp.
And you fell in love with the unluckiest man in the whole damn world.
The unluckiest man in the whole damn world.
The unluckiest man in the whole damn world.
You finally made me like myself.

Oh, you broke the hearts of a prince, a doctor, a pilot, a king.
And you fell in love with the unluckiest man in the whole damn world.
The unluckiest man in the whole damn world.
The unluckiest man in the whole damn world.
That's right.
The unluckiest man in the whole damn world.
One more time!
The unluckiest man in the whole damn world.

To all you hotties out there,

I had an inking that my friend was interested in this girl that I was seeing. Granted he knew her before me and we were all speculating about whether he liked her or not. But when I asked him about his feelings for her he said no. We got together and broke up (what’s new) after a year plus. Now (which is about 2 years since that incident and 6 months after we broke up) I get an sms from her asking me to take care of my friend as he was drunk and what hit me wasn’t jealousy or hurt but more of WTF. I asked him whether he was okay or not and I just couldn’t help but ask if he was going out with her. He told me he wasn't going out with her and the reason why he decided to call her = he had too much to drink + he was heading home + his home passes her by place + he had this sudden desire to get some hot tea to sober up AT HER PLACE.

Hot tea to sober up… Right.

But then I guess everyone deserves the benefit of a doubt when they’re drunk. Right?

So to all you pretty girls out there, next time I’m drunk please keep your phones on standby cause I’ll be wanting to go to your place for some hot tea to sober up before I head home. No thoughts about being a koala bear. I promise.

Regards,
Shrek

Just to prove that i've got above average reflexes


http://farm.addictinggames.com/D78AQSAKQLQWI9/3461.swf

and to justify why i wanna be a koala bear in my next life



notice what the little bastard's arm is grabbing. bloody horny bastard.

I was reading an email and a buddy of mine said "she was scareded". I freaking burst out laughing in the mother fucking library. Like WHAT THE FUCK.

I think this particular girl is damn cute. But she's the number dunno what girl that only I think is cute. Fuck off...

My mom said my dog was smiling this morning cause she managed to sleep inside the house last night... Really...

The place that i'm studying in is called the "collaborative study area", what ever that means...

There's a particularly black and shiny groove on every platform of the esculator....

I had a dream last night that I managed to siphon close to 10,000,000 dollars from the company I was working at. And i covered my tracks, placed my money somewhere else and migrated to a country without an extradication treaty. Cool huh?

VERY.

Hello World

Today, my grandparents came to my house cause they thought my mom underwent some life threatening major operation.

The only problem was that there was no life threatening major operation. They heard wrongly.

And because they've been semi deaf for as long as I can remember, this was never an issue. But now that we've bought them hearing aids, they seem to be hearing a lot more things and misintepreting a lot more things.

And they talk a lot more, now that they can hear properly. All in all it's a good thing but somehow I think everyone else (myself included) thinks that maybe things weren't so bad when they were semi deaf.

Okay, bastard.

To all you voyeurs

Hello world, it has come to my attention that a great many voyeurs have recently discovered this wonderful haven in the land of Blogspot at the province of Amerepuff. It would be greatly appreciated if you would be so kind as to inform the governer, a.k.a me, that you have made your way here. Treat it as an exercise in immigration i.e. stamping your passport when you go to Sentosa. It’s not necessary, it's troublesome but I would most definitely appreciate it.

I would really hate to have Sentosa break away from Singapore but it might just come to that especially if the number of not-so-illegal immigrants continue to rise. (I.e. begin the sissified actions of locking entries or the whole blog which I am very reluctant to do)

So if you are kind enough, please just tag me on my tag board.

So cool

Artist:
badly drawn boy
Song:
you were right
Album:
And you, were right to bide your time and not buy into my misery, well the good things are never free, do the colours of the rainbow look the same to everyone, And I, was rushin' round in circles for a reason to believe, wipe the slime from of your sleeve, you could follow me for weeks and i'm not goin' anywhere, Sometimes it's hard to love someone, until the day that they are gone, And I, just had a dream the other night, I was married to the Queen, and Madonna lived next door, I think she took a shine to me, and the kids were all grown up, but i had to turn her down coz i was still in love with you, I'm turnin' madonna down, i'm callin' it my best move, i'll get a ticket to what you need, I, remember doin' nothin' on the night Sinatra died, and the night Jeff Buckley died, and the night Kurt Cobain died, and the night John Lennon died, I remember I stayed up to watch the news with everyone, And that was a lot of nights, and that was a lot of lives, they lost the tickets to what they need, And I, was busy findin' answers while you just got on with real life, always hoped you'd be my wife, but i never found the time, for the question to arrive, I just disguised it in this song, And songs, are never quite the answer, just a soundtrack to a life, that is over all too soon, helps to turn the days to night, while i was wrong and you were right, And this was a lesson learned, I'm happy to be your fool, and get you tickets to what you need, I'm turnin' the lights down low, i'm ready to make my move, i'll get you tickets to what you need.

I feel like this sometimes. And if you think it's you it's probably you.

HEY! WHAT'S THE BIG IDEA!

i almost got punched as i entered the train today. freaking hell. as usual singaporeans were afraid of the "ghost" in the middle of the train and no one was walking in and as usual, i barged my way into the middle of the carriage and into the center of a fight between a damn weird looking chinese man and damn geeky looking malay man. okay, i apologise for the oxy moron. no geeky looking malay. not so weird but still weird looking malay man. anyways, happily tuned into my zen watching the blood diamond completely oblivious to what was going on when the malay man pushed me away. boy was i worked up. then i noticed a yellow arm flashing by my face and i was seriously thinking " okay, like WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED. I'VE GOT MY TRUSTY UMBRELLA AND U WANNA PICK A FIGHT WITH ME FOR MAKING SPACE BY FACING THE GHOSTS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CARRIAGE..."

then i took a step back, glanced at both parties and resumed watching the blood diamond as if i couldnt care less about the fight that was going on.

did i mention that i took off an earphone just in case. what a wimp...

Here are some of my favourite erm... WHATEVER.

Below are some of my “beloved” group mates this semester.

P.S they are not in any order of merit what so ever *ahem*

The first one would be little miss I cannot help but try my best to get into the bad books of yours truly. Maybe this picture does not do her justice but she does look like miss piggy.



Next is the commando. While looking at this picture, you might think that it was taken during his “for honour and glory” days. WELL ITS NOT. AND GOD KNOWS WHY HE’S STILL WEARING ARMY GREEN SHIRTS.



And lastly, from the picture you must be thinking Nicholas Anelka. Right, the incredible sulk. And trust me when I tell you this one can really sulk.



And I so hope that none of them reads this blog or reads this blog any longer or I swear I might just grow shorter by about 40 cm.

OMG

I can't believe the nodder is acting cute in front of me!

Can i eat yet? *bats eyelids*

Ur watching naruto? so funny! * blushes*

Are u amending ur slides? *bats fucking eyelids again.*

OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. SOMEBODY SHOOT ME.

DIFFICULT QUESTIONS AND INTELLIGENT ANSWERS!

Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep?
A. No Probs , He sleeps at night.

Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
A. It will Wet or Sink as simple as that.

Q. What looks like half apple ?
A : The other half.

Q. What can you never eat for breakfast ?
A : Lunch and Dinner.

Q. What happened when wheel was invented ?
A : It caused a revolution.

Q. Bay of Bengal is in which state?
A : Liquid

Now who ever said that Adrian Ong Jian-Zhong cannot manage his own company? Who ever said that he’ll only make money by cooking the books.



Ha! My company did extremely well. Granted it was against computers and who knows what may happen when we go up against real humans. Fark. And what strategic planning and market forecasting and financial planning. For strategic planning, I lived by the motto, click proceed to next round and see what happens. For market forecasting, it was spend spend spend and for financial planning, it was issue bonds, bonds and more bonds. In fact, my company was over flowing with cash and I was maximizing everything because it was a 10 year bond and the simulation ends in 8 years. What a genius.

All in all, I was fighting fire the whole time due to my over-reliance on the all powerful “gut feeling”.

I dreamt of her again today. It was so vivid, that I woke up half expecting to be in a room 3 times the size of the hall and twice the size of the other room (her room is not that big, the other rooms are just shoe boxes). What I loved about her place was the connecting toilet between both rooms. The connecting toilet wasn’t the selling point, the lack of doors to the toilet was what really sold it.

A classic case of what might have been had I chosen the path less travelled, instead of taking what ever is more certain. Maybe if I had been less risk adverse, things could have been so much more exciting. But then, till I actually cross paths with her again (if ever), this is nothing more than another what if.

2 posts in 1 day, to avoid having the number of posts to be 444. What can I say, still the china man at heart.

Did we cave?

Singapore is set to sign the extradication and defence treaty after 2 years of negotiations with Indonesia either today or tommorrow in Bali. On their ground and probably on their terms. After a 2-3 months ban of sand the the restriction of granite.

Did we cave in to the pressures that Indonesia exerted on us by banning sand and restricting granite?

The reopening of the quarries in Ubin cannot be a long term solution to this problem.

We can continue to import sand and granite from other sources but for how long and at what costs.

I believe the sand and granite was just a flexing of muscles from Indonesia telling us how dependent we are on them, so we better not piss them off. Imagine if they decided to cut foodstuffs, how much more would we suffer.

So much for Singapore always having alternatives. After all that is said and done, we're just a little red dot. Maybe we should consider expansion. Like the Romans did. Please ISD, I'm just joking.

BIMBO. Period.

And no, I'm not Klaaon.

they should change this party



to the addidas bash.

BUS DRIVER

When I stepped into the kitchen for breakfast (after my morning swim), I sat down and saw a newspaper article saying that a man got hit by a taxi driver. I believe it is my mom’s way of saying “take note of this”. The man wasn’t hit hard, he was hit and fell on the bonnet, but when the taxi braked, he fell and smacked his water melon on the road. What luck.

And the passenger in the taxi took off and ran away after the taxi hit him. I sure hope she goes to the police and gives her statement to send that mother fucking taxi driver to jail. No better, hang the mother fucker, chop his head off and stick it in the middle of the comfort delgro’s main office as a warning to all taxi drivers to not be fucking assholes when they’re on the road.

Just because you drive long hours on the road to feed your family doesn’t give you the fucking right to knock someone down because you wanted to run away without giving your particulars. You became a taxi driver by choice, citing things like I want to be my own boss, I like to manage my own time. Well if you were so good at managing your time, you probably will not have been a taxi driver. And since it’s your own choice, by choosing to remain a taxi driver, you fucking just have to get used to the fact that life’s unfair and comfort delgro is going to squeeze you for all that your worth. Alternatively, go be a bus driver. There’s cpf, over time, staff benefits, everyone gives way to you and since you’re driving at the average speed of 20km/h, you’re going need some serious skill to get into an accident.

The Soldiering Life LyricsArtist(Band):The Decemberists
Review The Song (0)
Print the Lyrics
document.write('Send The Decemberists polyphonic ringtone to your cell phone');
Send The Decemberists polyphonic ringtone to your cell phone

Ambling madly all over the town

The call to arms you liken to a whisper,I liken to a radio.

You were a brickbat, a bowery tuff, so rough

They culled you from a cartoon

Pulled out of your pantaloons.

But you,My brother in arms,

I'd rather I'd lose my limbs

Than let you come to harm.

But you ,My bombazine doll,

The bullets may singe your skin

And the mortars may fall.

But I,I never felt so much life

Than tonightHuddled in the trenches,

Gazing on the battle field,Our rifles blaze away;

We blaze away.

Corporal Bradley of regiment five

In proud array standing by the bathing

Soldiers and the stevedores.

We laid on the mattress and tumbled to sleep

Our eyes aligned, swaddled in our civies

Cradled in our dungarees.

But you,My brother in arms,I'd rather I'd lose my limbs

Than let you come to harm.

But you,My bombazine doll,The bullets may singe your skin

And the mortars may fall.

But I,I never felt so much life

Than tonight

Huddled in the trenches,Gazing on the battle field

Our rifles blaze away;We blaze away.We blaze away.We blaze away.

Finally, a bloody song that sings good things about war.

How to piss off someone who wanted to piss u off.

What happens when a baby panda sneezes?

mother fucking funny.

I AM GOING TO PRAGUE!

A fucking retarded conversation between someone who's trying to get his point across vs someone who is just... retarded.

and retardedness is contagious.

In a more local context. No foreign talent - No more SPGs. Think about it Singapore.

Or No Foreign Brides - No more babies.

Or No M***** - No unwanted pregnancies. (This would be something worth thinking about.)

How to attract attention?

Change your msn nick to "i knew you liked me from the start!"

8 curious assholes at the moment. that's not even 10% in my msn list.

what a pathetic existence i have...

As I fell the 50ft
towards my certain death,

I smiled;

at the thought of so many
heavy with question.

Did he fall / was he pushed?

I knew the answer,
though I wasn't going to say.

Shameless

Yesterday, KK, M and S went for dinner together, the occasion was KK's belated birthday treat from S. The only reason why M was there was because M was in school alone and the bunch of us were going to meet up later on at around 10. So rather than leave M alone in school till 10, KK asked him to join her.

After dinner, S was picking up the bill as he was treating KK and out of courtesy told M that he need not pay. M immediately kept his wallet and his money as well. I arrived after dinner but not before the bill was paid and when I realised that M was not going to pay S back, I got peeved and started hinting at M to pay S for the bill. It was the 1st time M was meeting S by the way.

But being covetous, greedy, little and mercenary person that lives by the motto “ask not what M can do for you, but rather what you can do for M” or “M only watches M’s back and perhaps yours, if there’s something in it for M”. He did not even bother to attempt to pay S back citing he said he was going to treat me.

Just the day before, M treated KK to her belated dinner where I sat in. And after dinner, I asked M (jokingly mind you) whether I needed to pay and he immediately lambasted me saying that the treat is for KK’s birthday and not mine. And I jokingly said that during my birthday I treated him to beer so shouldn’t he treat me back. But that aside, if he could so clearly draw the lines between black and white, telling me what is acceptable and what is not and then proceed to do the very opposite the next day, isn’t that a sign of the apex of hypocrisy? Where everything can be changed, as long as it’s changed to my favour.

Perhaps that is why despite of your superior physic, you can never get the chicks that you want or you’ll always be 2nd best when a chick has to choose between you and someone else, because if you can never overlook your own self interests, what makes you think someone is going to allow you to take care of them when they know that you’ll only look after them AFTER your own needs are taken care of.

Later on in the car on the way home,

KK – I swear my car engine is super noisy today.

Me – then my car engine must be driving you deaf…

KK – no! it’s really damn loud!

Me – maybe it’s because your driving at 4,000 rpm

KK – Oh yah, haha.

Me – now your driving damn slowly, can you step on it?

KK – I think my engine’s spoilt, I step at 4,000 rpm and I’m moving at 60, when I release I’m going at 30.

Me – Maybe it’s because you are driving in gear 2.

KK - Shuddup bitch.

Cool?

After looking at my friend's nick which had the i'm in front of it, i was really quite curious as to how he got it. After passing on the secret on how to get the i'm in front of the nick, this conversation ensued.



Which leads me to another question. What if no one else picks it up...

when i asked zm whether he understood what Noah meant by scattered fucking showers my ass...



Really. No one gets it.

Classical Request

In this day and age, especially after you've been through 3 years of uni education at SMU no doubt you learn to expect certain things when certain people talk to you on msn. As freshmen we all took msn 101 which stretched over 2 sems. Some dropped out due to grades constraints, while others continued taking it out of sheer love of the course. While others use it merely as a tool.

When someone whom you hardly knows msns you, you can almost be certain that he wants something.



Classic. But at least he salvages the situation by making some small talk at the end. Which might have worked if the person on the receiving end wasn't half as cynical as I am. But what the hell, he should have done away with the hi and gotten straight to the point. But still it's refreshing and i enjoy conversations which are short, concise and well, short.

Top 10 times the use of fuck is most appropiate

10th - "Scattered Fucking showers, my ass!" - Noah, 4314 BC
9th - "How the fuck did you work that out?" - Pythagoras, 126 BC
8th - "You want WHAT on the fucking ceiling?" - Michelangelo, 1566
7th - "Where did all those fucking Indians come from?" - Custer,1877
6th - "It does so fucking look like her!" - Picasso,1926
5th - "Any fucking idiot could understand that." - Einstein, 1938
4th - "What the fuck was that?" - Mayor Of Hiroshima,1945
3rd - "I need this parade like I need a fucking hole in the head!" - JFK,1963
2nd - "Aw c'mon. Who the fuck is going to find out?" - Bill Clinton
1st - "Where the fuck are the bloody bombs?" - George Bush

Brand new colony

Brand New Colony Lyrics
by The Postal Service[ Download Free Lyrics Software featuring The Postal Service ] [ Send to a friend ]
I'll be the grapes fermented,
Bottled and served with the table set in my finest suit
Like a perfect gentlemen
I'll be the fire escape that's bolted to the ancient brick
Where you will sit and contemplate your day
I'll be the waterwings that save you if you start drowning
In an open tab when your judgement's on the brink
I'll be the phonograph that plays your favorite
Albums back as your lying there drifting off to sleep...
I'll be the platform shoes and undo what heredity's done to you...
You won't have to strain to look into my eyes
I'll be your winter coat buttoned and zippedstraight to the throat
With the collar up so you won't catch a cold
I want to take you far from the cynics int his town
And kiss you on the mouth
We'll cut out bodies free from the tethers of this scene,
Start a brand new colony
Where everything will change,
We'll give ourselves new names (identities erased)
The sun will hear the grounds
Under our bare feet in this brand new colony
Everything will change, oOo oOo...


another reason why it's not working with the CS.
I'll be the phonograph that plays your favorite albums back as your lying there drifting off to sleep...

Phonograph? They mean photographs right? think there's a typo in the lyrics. But then if it's photograph, then it doesn't make sense.

YAH HUH....

300

Spartans! Prepare for glory!

Be afriad, Sparta will burn to the ground!

This is madness! -This is Sparta!

A new age has begun! An age of freedom! And all will know that 300 Spartans give their last breath to defend it!

A thousand nations of the Persian Empire decend upon you, our arrows will blot out the sun. - Then we will fight in the shade.

Tonight, we dine in hell!

With lines like this, how can a movie go wrong...

How looks can be deceiving

It was a blast with the trannies, hong kong babes, malaysian babes and the fatties.

How looks can be deceiving

It was a blast with the trannies, hong kong babes, malaysian babes and the fatties.

I was having a drink after gym with KK and Irvin when Irvin decided to give me his number. After keying it in and giving him a miss call, the name Glen pops up when i press call. I looked at Irvin and tells him he gave me the wrong number. We repeated the keying in of the number 3 times and each time Glen's name pops up when I press call. Finally Irvin gets peeved and says let it ring and see whether my phone rings.

Lo and behold, his phone does ring, which means that Glen gave me the wrong fucking number.... But what are the odds of that happening.

Regina Spektor is mighty cool.

The Decemberists are mighty cool too.

The Sounds are mighty mighty cool too.

Last night we went MOS and i swear i still have it. Fat gals, trannies, lonely girls with no friends, hong kong girls, malaysian girls, you all better beware because though i cant get Jessica Alba, I can still get you.

Nothing beats the tranny. haha. I don't care if she has a dick cause she's so fucking hot and it doesnt matter because i'm not going anywhere else with her. Haha, after i was done dancing with her, i passed her to D to dance with her. D went to ask her what was her name. She told him his name and he said, no, your original name. she said it was james and walked away. awwww....

T got into a fight protecting eileen and justina. hahhaa. mighty funny. okay, not fight, he got into an almost fight and ended up yelling at eileen for i dunno what reason.

Justina was soooo drunk, she actually believed that she could make it home. which we managed to convince her otherwise for 1.5 hours. after which she was so convinced that she left the club in a stupor.

Last night, i was a student studying in NYU. A hong kong yan. A singaporean who grew up in an international school in Hong Kong. When i'm clubbing, i can be anyone and anything. Hell, I was even the manager of MOS.

Analytical Skills

Browsing through some old folders and i stumbled (this sounds wrong when ur using stumble, lets change it to chanced upon) upon this.



Classic fallacy. which one though, i can't say.

When a sleepy mind meets a very bored and very much awake mind.

Good morning babe, happy day day before v day and happy one week less 6 days to the lunar new year! Haha. I’m sitting in a meeting room playing free cell and reading wicked. Please let me have the internet.

Haha. Ok, you’re bored. Yes you do need the internet. Why does your client’s place not have wireless? Haha.

Even if they do, me do not have a wireless card which then brings me back to the first point that I do not have the internet. Haha. Awake you are young padawan. The force is strong in you.

Oh god! Haha, I seriously doubt if I should meet up with you tomorrow. What if I go mad? Haha.

Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to fear and fear leads to madness. But fear not, for the seed of justice is strong in this one.

Ah! Save me!

As swift as a sparrow whose wings are on fire would I race to your plight young padawan but alas, my wings are burnt. Haha.

Ok, I’m banning you from watching anymore star wars related stuff! No more Adrian! No more!

The last one had nothing to do with star wars no? Why is the young padawan awake at such an unearthly hour?

I do not care! It’s all the same. Haha. my friend woke me up la. Haha. good thing tho. I have a presentation to rush for.

Oh a special friend I see you having. A strengthening in the anti-sam side of the force, this can only bode well for the new angela.

Haha. Yes yes a special friend :-p showed me what I was missing out on. Haha.




I’m having this bitter taste in my mouth when you didn’t show up. The disappointment though expected didn’t make swallowing it any easier. Perhaps I was reaching for the moon when all I could reach was the ceiling fan.


I’m reading the newspapers at work because there’s simply nothing for me to do and I read an article on estate duty. The interesting thing about this article, aside the main issue that touched on the probable future of the “long outdated” estate duty, is that the straits times got their sources from 3 partners in 3 different accounting firms.

In case you haven’t got it yet, they’re collectively known as the big FOUR. Not big 3. From a certain firm’s point of view, I’m quite certain no news is not good news.

While reading the straits times, my senior (this one shall be called the slutty senior not because she’s slutty. But because she looks slutty and because a certain YWZ’s words keeps flashing across my eyes everytime I look at her. His words are along the line of “I heard she’s a good fark. She fark a lot in ntu, every night also fark. Farking horny. ) looks at me and says, do u know what website shows us the share price? In Chinese of course and I look at her blanky and go, “how about SGX DOT COM?”

But do not underestimate her. She’s from the bane of all things ACS. Her kind eats us for breakfast my brothers. She’s from the one, the only, the ultra deadly dunman + vj combination. Let us all beware and spare a minute’s silence for my sad sad fate.

TOP TEN THINGS I SAY AT DT

10. What time do you need me until?

9. Wah, jing tian chuan dao zhe me mei? (used when talking to clients. only applicable to female clients > 35)

8. Is that all? ( used when facing an insurmountable amount of work)

7. What time do you need me to come in tomorrow?

6. I'm only an intern.

5. Do you have anything for me to do? Cause i've been doing nothing, not that i usually mind but then there's no internet connection here and i'm pretty sick of free cell.

4. Hi, my name is adrian, yours?

3. Where's the client's place at? If it's at tuas i dun wanna go.

2. Could you speak slower and in english please...?

1. No, i'm from SMU.

i will be late cause the person i'm sharing a cab with wants to watch soccer.

why dun u come down earlier?

cause we're sharing cab and i've got no money.

and i'm wondering if i'm being petty or is there just something wrong.