If condoms had sponsors

Personally I love the last one. So damn bloody witty. The 2nd last one is pretty cool tool. The rest is so-so.

If you watch the anime demonbane. or rather go wiki demonbane. you'll realise that humans have mystical powers much like soccerers and they get more powerful with the help of a book. called a grimorie, which is like textbooks except they impart powers beside knowledge.

these books also have feelings and they can put forth human appearances. but why are all the books females. and 2 of the characters fall in love with their books.

and they probably end up fucking.

sick.

fucking a textbook.

Raffles Hotel?

My sister has the ability to book a room for herself in the Raffles Hotel.

She hates it that we're sharing the same room.

Today, she went, if I booked a room in the Raffles Hotel for you would you shift out?

HELL YEAH!

mom, " You dare." staring at me.

mom, "And YOU dare!" Staring at my sister.

At the ticket counter

“Hi, I’m here to collect my tickets!”

“For what show?”

“Shrek at 915.”

“Okay, can I have the booking number?”

“I don’t have the booking number, how about my IC?”

“Okay, (keys in IC number)….. Sorry, is your IC number correct?”

Repeats giving and keying in of the IC number.

“Sorry, we don’t seem to have your tickets. Where did you book them?”

“I booked GV Grand…”

“Sorry, this is GV Vivocity.”

If I wear those jeans would I look like Kate Moss?

It’s nice how everything seems better to you when it’s finally yours. Only time will tell if I appreciate it more with the passage of time. But as of now, though it’s just red. To me, it’s the bloody freaking nicest red I’ve seen in my life. Its cool how there’s a USB plug for me to play mp3s instead of playing CDs. I have yet to floor the accelerator but that’s only because it’s not advisable to do so before the 1st servicing. In 1 day, I’ve clocked 150km on it and I can only see that figure exploding once my exams end.

My dog hates it though. She hates the fact that my new baby is occupying the driveway of the house, blocking her view of the world. As narrow as it was, it’s not that it has gotten narrower now, it’s just blocked.

I want to get a spoiler but I am too lazy and stingy to go get one. Actually, it’s more stingy than lazy. If someone had a free spoiler for me, I’ll go get it fixed now. No questions asked.

I want to get side skirts and strum bars as well. An air intake seems pretty cool as well. Hell, just throw in a turbo and that’ll really make my day.

What I want most? I want it to be scratch proof. Something like the tanks in the army. Where you can try and try and try but you’ll never be able to scratch the damn mother fucker.

Bullet proofing might be cool too. I want it to be laser proof, dirt proof, and bird shit proof as well.

I also want it to be a chick magnet. But given how materialistic members of the opposite sex are now a days, that’ll be a tough one. Maybe a holographic projector would be cool. Complete with sound effects that’ll make the less than well informed woman think that she’s getting into a Lamborghini. Now, THAT will be cool. What’s cooler?

Actually owning one.

VROOM VROOM!

My sister's back from China and I am allerigc to her.

Now we're fighting over where we are going to sleep. She wants to sleep in her old room which is now my room. Her reasons for doing so?
"I can't sleep in the other room."

My reasons for sleeping in her room?
"You've got married!"
"I'm having exams!"
"I set up you frigging wireless connection for you!"
"YOU GOT MARRIED!"

Sister
"WHATEVER!"

................................................................

I've been having this mother fucking bad headache and I can't concentrate or do any work because of it. Fuck.

And I realise, I blog when I study mainly because...

I'm bored.

Okay, that was damn weird.

Someone tell me what the fuck is goin on please.

More than this,
you know there's nothing.
More than this,
tell me one thing.
More than this,
you know there's nothing.

It was fun for a while,
there was no way of knowing.

R-Type Final

It’s a little old, a little outdated and I’m a little behind the times playing a game made in 2003. But this game rocks. Gamespot rates it a cool 8.1/10.

The grass is always greener on the other side.

I'm sure that there's some asses with a cap of 4.0 crying themselves to sleep because they want a cap of 2.5.

Face it dick, sometimes, nobody envies you.

This picture won the best picture

for the "it's not my job" category



If you don't get it. You need help.

Sound bite of the day

Hey, what are u going to do for the advance audit cheat sheet?

I'm not sure. I think I'll just write down the relevant controls etc etc.

How are you going to squeeze them in?

I think I'll prob do it in font size 6

Wah, so big ar, I'm going to do mine in font size 2.

Any guesses who said that?

*Disclaimer: This is not the exact way the conversation went but the gist of it is captured. While it is based on real life examples, any resembalance to any person(s) is purely conincidental and unintended.

P.S. That was damn contradictory...

The Unluckiest Man in the World - Space

Oh, you brought a bright summer's day
To my gray stormy heart.
What do you think about love?
Is it such a great place to start?
I just know that this warm glow inside
Feels like an orchestra swell.
And now I know now as well.
You finally made me like myself.

Oh, you broke the hearts of a prince, a doctor, a pilot, a king.
And you fell in love with the unluckiest man in the whole damn world.
The unluckiest man in the whole damn world.
The unluckiest man in the whole damn world.

The smallest of men, couldn't even turn you to them.
They have am morning of lucksKnow all the best clubs in town.
The latest high-fashion suits and their big flashy cars.
But just for the thrill of it if they try it on,
You kick them where it hurts and adios they're gone.
You finally made me like myself.
Oh, you broke the hearts of a lawyer, a playboy, a Georgian, a pimp.
And you fell in love with the unluckiest man in the whole damn world.
The unluckiest man in the whole damn world.
The unluckiest man in the whole damn world.
You finally made me like myself.

Oh, you broke the hearts of a prince, a doctor, a pilot, a king.
And you fell in love with the unluckiest man in the whole damn world.
The unluckiest man in the whole damn world.
The unluckiest man in the whole damn world.
That's right.
The unluckiest man in the whole damn world.
One more time!
The unluckiest man in the whole damn world.

To all you hotties out there,

I had an inking that my friend was interested in this girl that I was seeing. Granted he knew her before me and we were all speculating about whether he liked her or not. But when I asked him about his feelings for her he said no. We got together and broke up (what’s new) after a year plus. Now (which is about 2 years since that incident and 6 months after we broke up) I get an sms from her asking me to take care of my friend as he was drunk and what hit me wasn’t jealousy or hurt but more of WTF. I asked him whether he was okay or not and I just couldn’t help but ask if he was going out with her. He told me he wasn't going out with her and the reason why he decided to call her = he had too much to drink + he was heading home + his home passes her by place + he had this sudden desire to get some hot tea to sober up AT HER PLACE.

Hot tea to sober up… Right.

But then I guess everyone deserves the benefit of a doubt when they’re drunk. Right?

So to all you pretty girls out there, next time I’m drunk please keep your phones on standby cause I’ll be wanting to go to your place for some hot tea to sober up before I head home. No thoughts about being a koala bear. I promise.

Regards,
Shrek

Just to prove that i've got above average reflexes


http://farm.addictinggames.com/D78AQSAKQLQWI9/3461.swf

and to justify why i wanna be a koala bear in my next life



notice what the little bastard's arm is grabbing. bloody horny bastard.

I was reading an email and a buddy of mine said "she was scareded". I freaking burst out laughing in the mother fucking library. Like WHAT THE FUCK.

I think this particular girl is damn cute. But she's the number dunno what girl that only I think is cute. Fuck off...

My mom said my dog was smiling this morning cause she managed to sleep inside the house last night... Really...

The place that i'm studying in is called the "collaborative study area", what ever that means...

There's a particularly black and shiny groove on every platform of the esculator....

I had a dream last night that I managed to siphon close to 10,000,000 dollars from the company I was working at. And i covered my tracks, placed my money somewhere else and migrated to a country without an extradication treaty. Cool huh?

VERY.

Hello World

Today, my grandparents came to my house cause they thought my mom underwent some life threatening major operation.

The only problem was that there was no life threatening major operation. They heard wrongly.

And because they've been semi deaf for as long as I can remember, this was never an issue. But now that we've bought them hearing aids, they seem to be hearing a lot more things and misintepreting a lot more things.

And they talk a lot more, now that they can hear properly. All in all it's a good thing but somehow I think everyone else (myself included) thinks that maybe things weren't so bad when they were semi deaf.

Okay, bastard.

To all you voyeurs

Hello world, it has come to my attention that a great many voyeurs have recently discovered this wonderful haven in the land of Blogspot at the province of Amerepuff. It would be greatly appreciated if you would be so kind as to inform the governer, a.k.a me, that you have made your way here. Treat it as an exercise in immigration i.e. stamping your passport when you go to Sentosa. It’s not necessary, it's troublesome but I would most definitely appreciate it.

I would really hate to have Sentosa break away from Singapore but it might just come to that especially if the number of not-so-illegal immigrants continue to rise. (I.e. begin the sissified actions of locking entries or the whole blog which I am very reluctant to do)

So if you are kind enough, please just tag me on my tag board.

So cool

Artist:
badly drawn boy
Song:
you were right
Album:
And you, were right to bide your time and not buy into my misery, well the good things are never free, do the colours of the rainbow look the same to everyone, And I, was rushin' round in circles for a reason to believe, wipe the slime from of your sleeve, you could follow me for weeks and i'm not goin' anywhere, Sometimes it's hard to love someone, until the day that they are gone, And I, just had a dream the other night, I was married to the Queen, and Madonna lived next door, I think she took a shine to me, and the kids were all grown up, but i had to turn her down coz i was still in love with you, I'm turnin' madonna down, i'm callin' it my best move, i'll get a ticket to what you need, I, remember doin' nothin' on the night Sinatra died, and the night Jeff Buckley died, and the night Kurt Cobain died, and the night John Lennon died, I remember I stayed up to watch the news with everyone, And that was a lot of nights, and that was a lot of lives, they lost the tickets to what they need, And I, was busy findin' answers while you just got on with real life, always hoped you'd be my wife, but i never found the time, for the question to arrive, I just disguised it in this song, And songs, are never quite the answer, just a soundtrack to a life, that is over all too soon, helps to turn the days to night, while i was wrong and you were right, And this was a lesson learned, I'm happy to be your fool, and get you tickets to what you need, I'm turnin' the lights down low, i'm ready to make my move, i'll get you tickets to what you need.

I feel like this sometimes. And if you think it's you it's probably you.

HEY! WHAT'S THE BIG IDEA!

i almost got punched as i entered the train today. freaking hell. as usual singaporeans were afraid of the "ghost" in the middle of the train and no one was walking in and as usual, i barged my way into the middle of the carriage and into the center of a fight between a damn weird looking chinese man and damn geeky looking malay man. okay, i apologise for the oxy moron. no geeky looking malay. not so weird but still weird looking malay man. anyways, happily tuned into my zen watching the blood diamond completely oblivious to what was going on when the malay man pushed me away. boy was i worked up. then i noticed a yellow arm flashing by my face and i was seriously thinking " okay, like WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED. I'VE GOT MY TRUSTY UMBRELLA AND U WANNA PICK A FIGHT WITH ME FOR MAKING SPACE BY FACING THE GHOSTS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CARRIAGE..."

then i took a step back, glanced at both parties and resumed watching the blood diamond as if i couldnt care less about the fight that was going on.

did i mention that i took off an earphone just in case. what a wimp...

Here are some of my favourite erm... WHATEVER.

Below are some of my “beloved” group mates this semester.

P.S they are not in any order of merit what so ever *ahem*

The first one would be little miss I cannot help but try my best to get into the bad books of yours truly. Maybe this picture does not do her justice but she does look like miss piggy.



Next is the commando. While looking at this picture, you might think that it was taken during his “for honour and glory” days. WELL ITS NOT. AND GOD KNOWS WHY HE’S STILL WEARING ARMY GREEN SHIRTS.



And lastly, from the picture you must be thinking Nicholas Anelka. Right, the incredible sulk. And trust me when I tell you this one can really sulk.



And I so hope that none of them reads this blog or reads this blog any longer or I swear I might just grow shorter by about 40 cm.

OMG

I can't believe the nodder is acting cute in front of me!

Can i eat yet? *bats eyelids*

Ur watching naruto? so funny! * blushes*

Are u amending ur slides? *bats fucking eyelids again.*

OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. SOMEBODY SHOOT ME.

DIFFICULT QUESTIONS AND INTELLIGENT ANSWERS!

Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep?
A. No Probs , He sleeps at night.

Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
A. It will Wet or Sink as simple as that.

Q. What looks like half apple ?
A : The other half.

Q. What can you never eat for breakfast ?
A : Lunch and Dinner.

Q. What happened when wheel was invented ?
A : It caused a revolution.

Q. Bay of Bengal is in which state?
A : Liquid

Now who ever said that Adrian Ong Jian-Zhong cannot manage his own company? Who ever said that he’ll only make money by cooking the books.



Ha! My company did extremely well. Granted it was against computers and who knows what may happen when we go up against real humans. Fark. And what strategic planning and market forecasting and financial planning. For strategic planning, I lived by the motto, click proceed to next round and see what happens. For market forecasting, it was spend spend spend and for financial planning, it was issue bonds, bonds and more bonds. In fact, my company was over flowing with cash and I was maximizing everything because it was a 10 year bond and the simulation ends in 8 years. What a genius.

All in all, I was fighting fire the whole time due to my over-reliance on the all powerful “gut feeling”.

I dreamt of her again today. It was so vivid, that I woke up half expecting to be in a room 3 times the size of the hall and twice the size of the other room (her room is not that big, the other rooms are just shoe boxes). What I loved about her place was the connecting toilet between both rooms. The connecting toilet wasn’t the selling point, the lack of doors to the toilet was what really sold it.

A classic case of what might have been had I chosen the path less travelled, instead of taking what ever is more certain. Maybe if I had been less risk adverse, things could have been so much more exciting. But then, till I actually cross paths with her again (if ever), this is nothing more than another what if.

2 posts in 1 day, to avoid having the number of posts to be 444. What can I say, still the china man at heart.

Did we cave?

Singapore is set to sign the extradication and defence treaty after 2 years of negotiations with Indonesia either today or tommorrow in Bali. On their ground and probably on their terms. After a 2-3 months ban of sand the the restriction of granite.

Did we cave in to the pressures that Indonesia exerted on us by banning sand and restricting granite?

The reopening of the quarries in Ubin cannot be a long term solution to this problem.

We can continue to import sand and granite from other sources but for how long and at what costs.

I believe the sand and granite was just a flexing of muscles from Indonesia telling us how dependent we are on them, so we better not piss them off. Imagine if they decided to cut foodstuffs, how much more would we suffer.

So much for Singapore always having alternatives. After all that is said and done, we're just a little red dot. Maybe we should consider expansion. Like the Romans did. Please ISD, I'm just joking.

BIMBO. Period.

And no, I'm not Klaaon.

they should change this party



to the addidas bash.

BUS DRIVER

When I stepped into the kitchen for breakfast (after my morning swim), I sat down and saw a newspaper article saying that a man got hit by a taxi driver. I believe it is my mom’s way of saying “take note of this”. The man wasn’t hit hard, he was hit and fell on the bonnet, but when the taxi braked, he fell and smacked his water melon on the road. What luck.

And the passenger in the taxi took off and ran away after the taxi hit him. I sure hope she goes to the police and gives her statement to send that mother fucking taxi driver to jail. No better, hang the mother fucker, chop his head off and stick it in the middle of the comfort delgro’s main office as a warning to all taxi drivers to not be fucking assholes when they’re on the road.

Just because you drive long hours on the road to feed your family doesn’t give you the fucking right to knock someone down because you wanted to run away without giving your particulars. You became a taxi driver by choice, citing things like I want to be my own boss, I like to manage my own time. Well if you were so good at managing your time, you probably will not have been a taxi driver. And since it’s your own choice, by choosing to remain a taxi driver, you fucking just have to get used to the fact that life’s unfair and comfort delgro is going to squeeze you for all that your worth. Alternatively, go be a bus driver. There’s cpf, over time, staff benefits, everyone gives way to you and since you’re driving at the average speed of 20km/h, you’re going need some serious skill to get into an accident.

The Soldiering Life LyricsArtist(Band):The Decemberists
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document.write('Send The Decemberists polyphonic ringtone to your cell phone');
Send The Decemberists polyphonic ringtone to your cell phone

Ambling madly all over the town

The call to arms you liken to a whisper,I liken to a radio.

You were a brickbat, a bowery tuff, so rough

They culled you from a cartoon

Pulled out of your pantaloons.

But you,My brother in arms,

I'd rather I'd lose my limbs

Than let you come to harm.

But you ,My bombazine doll,

The bullets may singe your skin

And the mortars may fall.

But I,I never felt so much life

Than tonightHuddled in the trenches,

Gazing on the battle field,Our rifles blaze away;

We blaze away.

Corporal Bradley of regiment five

In proud array standing by the bathing

Soldiers and the stevedores.

We laid on the mattress and tumbled to sleep

Our eyes aligned, swaddled in our civies

Cradled in our dungarees.

But you,My brother in arms,I'd rather I'd lose my limbs

Than let you come to harm.

But you,My bombazine doll,The bullets may singe your skin

And the mortars may fall.

But I,I never felt so much life

Than tonight

Huddled in the trenches,Gazing on the battle field

Our rifles blaze away;We blaze away.We blaze away.We blaze away.

Finally, a bloody song that sings good things about war.

How to piss off someone who wanted to piss u off.

What happens when a baby panda sneezes?

mother fucking funny.

I AM GOING TO PRAGUE!

A fucking retarded conversation between someone who's trying to get his point across vs someone who is just... retarded.

and retardedness is contagious.

In a more local context. No foreign talent - No more SPGs. Think about it Singapore.

Or No Foreign Brides - No more babies.

Or No M***** - No unwanted pregnancies. (This would be something worth thinking about.)

How to attract attention?

Change your msn nick to "i knew you liked me from the start!"

8 curious assholes at the moment. that's not even 10% in my msn list.

what a pathetic existence i have...

As I fell the 50ft
towards my certain death,

I smiled;

at the thought of so many
heavy with question.

Did he fall / was he pushed?

I knew the answer,
though I wasn't going to say.

Shameless

Yesterday, KK, M and S went for dinner together, the occasion was KK's belated birthday treat from S. The only reason why M was there was because M was in school alone and the bunch of us were going to meet up later on at around 10. So rather than leave M alone in school till 10, KK asked him to join her.

After dinner, S was picking up the bill as he was treating KK and out of courtesy told M that he need not pay. M immediately kept his wallet and his money as well. I arrived after dinner but not before the bill was paid and when I realised that M was not going to pay S back, I got peeved and started hinting at M to pay S for the bill. It was the 1st time M was meeting S by the way.

But being covetous, greedy, little and mercenary person that lives by the motto “ask not what M can do for you, but rather what you can do for M” or “M only watches M’s back and perhaps yours, if there’s something in it for M”. He did not even bother to attempt to pay S back citing he said he was going to treat me.

Just the day before, M treated KK to her belated dinner where I sat in. And after dinner, I asked M (jokingly mind you) whether I needed to pay and he immediately lambasted me saying that the treat is for KK’s birthday and not mine. And I jokingly said that during my birthday I treated him to beer so shouldn’t he treat me back. But that aside, if he could so clearly draw the lines between black and white, telling me what is acceptable and what is not and then proceed to do the very opposite the next day, isn’t that a sign of the apex of hypocrisy? Where everything can be changed, as long as it’s changed to my favour.

Perhaps that is why despite of your superior physic, you can never get the chicks that you want or you’ll always be 2nd best when a chick has to choose between you and someone else, because if you can never overlook your own self interests, what makes you think someone is going to allow you to take care of them when they know that you’ll only look after them AFTER your own needs are taken care of.

Later on in the car on the way home,

KK – I swear my car engine is super noisy today.

Me – then my car engine must be driving you deaf…

KK – no! it’s really damn loud!

Me – maybe it’s because your driving at 4,000 rpm

KK – Oh yah, haha.

Me – now your driving damn slowly, can you step on it?

KK – I think my engine’s spoilt, I step at 4,000 rpm and I’m moving at 60, when I release I’m going at 30.

Me – Maybe it’s because you are driving in gear 2.

KK - Shuddup bitch.

Cool?

After looking at my friend's nick which had the i'm in front of it, i was really quite curious as to how he got it. After passing on the secret on how to get the i'm in front of the nick, this conversation ensued.



Which leads me to another question. What if no one else picks it up...

when i asked zm whether he understood what Noah meant by scattered fucking showers my ass...



Really. No one gets it.

Classical Request

In this day and age, especially after you've been through 3 years of uni education at SMU no doubt you learn to expect certain things when certain people talk to you on msn. As freshmen we all took msn 101 which stretched over 2 sems. Some dropped out due to grades constraints, while others continued taking it out of sheer love of the course. While others use it merely as a tool.

When someone whom you hardly knows msns you, you can almost be certain that he wants something.



Classic. But at least he salvages the situation by making some small talk at the end. Which might have worked if the person on the receiving end wasn't half as cynical as I am. But what the hell, he should have done away with the hi and gotten straight to the point. But still it's refreshing and i enjoy conversations which are short, concise and well, short.

Top 10 times the use of fuck is most appropiate

10th - "Scattered Fucking showers, my ass!" - Noah, 4314 BC
9th - "How the fuck did you work that out?" - Pythagoras, 126 BC
8th - "You want WHAT on the fucking ceiling?" - Michelangelo, 1566
7th - "Where did all those fucking Indians come from?" - Custer,1877
6th - "It does so fucking look like her!" - Picasso,1926
5th - "Any fucking idiot could understand that." - Einstein, 1938
4th - "What the fuck was that?" - Mayor Of Hiroshima,1945
3rd - "I need this parade like I need a fucking hole in the head!" - JFK,1963
2nd - "Aw c'mon. Who the fuck is going to find out?" - Bill Clinton
1st - "Where the fuck are the bloody bombs?" - George Bush

Brand new colony

Brand New Colony Lyrics
by The Postal Service[ Download Free Lyrics Software featuring The Postal Service ] [ Send to a friend ]
I'll be the grapes fermented,
Bottled and served with the table set in my finest suit
Like a perfect gentlemen
I'll be the fire escape that's bolted to the ancient brick
Where you will sit and contemplate your day
I'll be the waterwings that save you if you start drowning
In an open tab when your judgement's on the brink
I'll be the phonograph that plays your favorite
Albums back as your lying there drifting off to sleep...
I'll be the platform shoes and undo what heredity's done to you...
You won't have to strain to look into my eyes
I'll be your winter coat buttoned and zippedstraight to the throat
With the collar up so you won't catch a cold
I want to take you far from the cynics int his town
And kiss you on the mouth
We'll cut out bodies free from the tethers of this scene,
Start a brand new colony
Where everything will change,
We'll give ourselves new names (identities erased)
The sun will hear the grounds
Under our bare feet in this brand new colony
Everything will change, oOo oOo...


another reason why it's not working with the CS.
I'll be the phonograph that plays your favorite albums back as your lying there drifting off to sleep...

Phonograph? They mean photographs right? think there's a typo in the lyrics. But then if it's photograph, then it doesn't make sense.

YAH HUH....

300

Spartans! Prepare for glory!

Be afriad, Sparta will burn to the ground!

This is madness! -This is Sparta!

A new age has begun! An age of freedom! And all will know that 300 Spartans give their last breath to defend it!

A thousand nations of the Persian Empire decend upon you, our arrows will blot out the sun. - Then we will fight in the shade.

Tonight, we dine in hell!

With lines like this, how can a movie go wrong...

How looks can be deceiving

It was a blast with the trannies, hong kong babes, malaysian babes and the fatties.

How looks can be deceiving

It was a blast with the trannies, hong kong babes, malaysian babes and the fatties.

I was having a drink after gym with KK and Irvin when Irvin decided to give me his number. After keying it in and giving him a miss call, the name Glen pops up when i press call. I looked at Irvin and tells him he gave me the wrong number. We repeated the keying in of the number 3 times and each time Glen's name pops up when I press call. Finally Irvin gets peeved and says let it ring and see whether my phone rings.

Lo and behold, his phone does ring, which means that Glen gave me the wrong fucking number.... But what are the odds of that happening.

Regina Spektor is mighty cool.

The Decemberists are mighty cool too.

The Sounds are mighty mighty cool too.

Last night we went MOS and i swear i still have it. Fat gals, trannies, lonely girls with no friends, hong kong girls, malaysian girls, you all better beware because though i cant get Jessica Alba, I can still get you.

Nothing beats the tranny. haha. I don't care if she has a dick cause she's so fucking hot and it doesnt matter because i'm not going anywhere else with her. Haha, after i was done dancing with her, i passed her to D to dance with her. D went to ask her what was her name. She told him his name and he said, no, your original name. she said it was james and walked away. awwww....

T got into a fight protecting eileen and justina. hahhaa. mighty funny. okay, not fight, he got into an almost fight and ended up yelling at eileen for i dunno what reason.

Justina was soooo drunk, she actually believed that she could make it home. which we managed to convince her otherwise for 1.5 hours. after which she was so convinced that she left the club in a stupor.

Last night, i was a student studying in NYU. A hong kong yan. A singaporean who grew up in an international school in Hong Kong. When i'm clubbing, i can be anyone and anything. Hell, I was even the manager of MOS.

Analytical Skills

Browsing through some old folders and i stumbled (this sounds wrong when ur using stumble, lets change it to chanced upon) upon this.



Classic fallacy. which one though, i can't say.

When a sleepy mind meets a very bored and very much awake mind.

Good morning babe, happy day day before v day and happy one week less 6 days to the lunar new year! Haha. I’m sitting in a meeting room playing free cell and reading wicked. Please let me have the internet.

Haha. Ok, you’re bored. Yes you do need the internet. Why does your client’s place not have wireless? Haha.

Even if they do, me do not have a wireless card which then brings me back to the first point that I do not have the internet. Haha. Awake you are young padawan. The force is strong in you.

Oh god! Haha, I seriously doubt if I should meet up with you tomorrow. What if I go mad? Haha.

Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to fear and fear leads to madness. But fear not, for the seed of justice is strong in this one.

Ah! Save me!

As swift as a sparrow whose wings are on fire would I race to your plight young padawan but alas, my wings are burnt. Haha.

Ok, I’m banning you from watching anymore star wars related stuff! No more Adrian! No more!

The last one had nothing to do with star wars no? Why is the young padawan awake at such an unearthly hour?

I do not care! It’s all the same. Haha. my friend woke me up la. Haha. good thing tho. I have a presentation to rush for.

Oh a special friend I see you having. A strengthening in the anti-sam side of the force, this can only bode well for the new angela.

Haha. Yes yes a special friend :-p showed me what I was missing out on. Haha.




I’m having this bitter taste in my mouth when you didn’t show up. The disappointment though expected didn’t make swallowing it any easier. Perhaps I was reaching for the moon when all I could reach was the ceiling fan.


I’m reading the newspapers at work because there’s simply nothing for me to do and I read an article on estate duty. The interesting thing about this article, aside the main issue that touched on the probable future of the “long outdated” estate duty, is that the straits times got their sources from 3 partners in 3 different accounting firms.

In case you haven’t got it yet, they’re collectively known as the big FOUR. Not big 3. From a certain firm’s point of view, I’m quite certain no news is not good news.

While reading the straits times, my senior (this one shall be called the slutty senior not because she’s slutty. But because she looks slutty and because a certain YWZ’s words keeps flashing across my eyes everytime I look at her. His words are along the line of “I heard she’s a good fark. She fark a lot in ntu, every night also fark. Farking horny. ) looks at me and says, do u know what website shows us the share price? In Chinese of course and I look at her blanky and go, “how about SGX DOT COM?”

But do not underestimate her. She’s from the bane of all things ACS. Her kind eats us for breakfast my brothers. She’s from the one, the only, the ultra deadly dunman + vj combination. Let us all beware and spare a minute’s silence for my sad sad fate.

TOP TEN THINGS I SAY AT DT

10. What time do you need me until?

9. Wah, jing tian chuan dao zhe me mei? (used when talking to clients. only applicable to female clients > 35)

8. Is that all? ( used when facing an insurmountable amount of work)

7. What time do you need me to come in tomorrow?

6. I'm only an intern.

5. Do you have anything for me to do? Cause i've been doing nothing, not that i usually mind but then there's no internet connection here and i'm pretty sick of free cell.

4. Hi, my name is adrian, yours?

3. Where's the client's place at? If it's at tuas i dun wanna go.

2. Could you speak slower and in english please...?

1. No, i'm from SMU.

i will be late cause the person i'm sharing a cab with wants to watch soccer.

why dun u come down earlier?

cause we're sharing cab and i've got no money.

and i'm wondering if i'm being petty or is there just something wrong.

wwwOnce again I’m sitting in the office wasting my life away. Not by strength nor by might but by their fucking grace. Thanks to the brilliant people working here. I’ve either a, not gotten the schedules for me to work on. B, have not got the correct schedules or C, have received the right schedules, only to be told that there are changes to the schedules. But they all have the same impact, resulting in me slacking.

Anyway, the toilets here are locked and you obviously need a key to enter. Since there is some form of security, it’s safe to assume that there is a certain scarcity to the key, or else there would be no need for a key to unlock the locked toilet. There are only 2 keys in the office. 1 is held by the receptionist and the other is held by I-dunno-who.

While taking the key from the receptionist, or more accurately, while I was taking a piss. I was wondering why not duplicate more keys. Which lead me to the conclusion that they probably duplicated the key resulting in more keys (2 more be precise). So imagine, one day your boss goes up to you and tells you to duplicate the toilet key, the 1st thing I would say would be who’s paying for it? Being MNCs that most companies are now a days, the answer would be obvious. I pay 1st, they pay me back later. Which is not a problem. what happens when the company refuses to pay you back? is the key urs or the companies? should the key be yours then the fundamentals of this arguement is that ownership does not transfer until payment is made. which is fine.

but then you have to consider what right does an employee have to own something that belongs to the company just because the company has not paid for it yet. a key to the toilet might be a small thing but imagine a computer or something more sensitive, say the a new computing software. when it belongs to the employee, can he install it and use it at home although it is registered by the company just because it is his till the company reimburses him?



over the issue of mooching, why should people be penalised over using wireless networks? i've heard views that just because one does not take steps to protect a possession does not mean that others have a right to take it or use it. which is something i can appreciate. for example, say i own a bicycle and park it at the park (pun not intended). should some mother fucker come and use my bike without my permisson (in this case i would consider it stealing), that mother fucker is going to get a hurt real bad.

but how can the setup of a wireless network be compared to the purchasing of movable property. while, immovable property is used as a comparison as well, this analogy is quite spot on. i own a house and while i did not lock the gate, there is a social norm that just because the gates to a house is not locked, it does not mean that strangers are welcomed into the house and one should mind their own business and not enter the house. which is true. and something i agree to.

However, the difference is that with a house and a wireless network, a house is a physical structure with a gate. While it is just a gate, it gives people the impression that permission is to be granted before entering is allowed. it's just human nature. with a wireless network, there is no gate unless you consider clicking connect to be the gate.

a wireless network should be compared to an open field. while you might buy part of a field, no one pays attention to who owns that field. if the field is not fenced, the field is fair game and everyone can use it. and that is what an unprotected wireless network is like. naming your network while not placing a password is akin to buying an open patch and then placing a sign on it that says owned by iamdamnfuckingnaive, which has not much effect unless you are the PAP which gives you the right to say transpassers will be prosecuted and more importantly enforce it by suing chee soon juan to hell. not that i'm a supporter of chee soon juan. i think that it is a damn good thing that he's getting his ass sues and they should lock him away and throw awayy the keys or just deport him or make him leave for good. like francis seow or tan lian hong (what ever his name is). and if you could change your network name, i'm pretty sure your not that far away from placing a password.

but then again, that's a problem for lawyers to solve which i believe they already have. what the shit man...

i saw a place that has a name called pasta manna. they sell... well... pasta. what a name. i sense an impending lawsuit from you know who and probably a certain out of favour country manna. that's if they're still in business in singapore.

there's a ong joo joo pig farm pte ltd which has sent a letter of notice, saying that it's name has been changed to ong joo joo food industries... to think that he might have been a distant relative of mine makes me sick. but then again, i'll be a sort-of-heir to a food industry. haha.

Is it gray or grey?

I hate this job

I hate this job. I hate the people working in the office and I hate the people working with me. The only thing I probably like about this job is that I’m fucking free because there simply isn’t anything for me to do.

There’s nothing for me to do because the mother fucking lazy bitches here either a, refuse to give me the documents I need or b, prepare the documents I need but refuse to pass them on to me till I go find them again and again and again or c, just plain outright tell me they’re busy and they’re not employed to entertain me. Well, I’m not employed to be your fucking stress relief lets scold the auditor just for kicks. Just wait till I start raising management points. I swear your name is on the top of the list, XXXXifer, even your name rhymes with Lucifer. Bitch. And what’s with preparing documents and not passing them to me? Wouldn’t you not rather I chase you down like the rat that you are… And your post might sound fantastic, accounting department deputy head, and your only getting fucking 2,800. I’m so going to earn more than you when I join the working world. Ohoh, elitism here. Better shut the fuck up before I ask you to get out of my elite uncaring face.

I hate the people I’m working with because I’m just not working with anyone and I hate not working with any. How cool is that. I have total autonomy to do whatever I fucking want and there’s no one to supervise me. How cool is that. And I can just say that I’ve gotten nothing from the clients (which is true) and not do anything! Internet! HERE I COME! Only 1 small problem here, there’s wireless but I’ve got no wireless card. There’s a lan port here but I’ve got no lan cable. WOOO HOOOO! I feel like a million bucks right now. Fucking shit. And Lucifer asked her it department to set me up with some internet access. It’s been 2 hours and STILL NO INTERNET ACCESS! Talk about efficiency man. Fucking shit I hate working alone. It sucks the marrow out of you. I’m bored. I almost spelt bored as board. Dammit. Give me what I need for crying out loud. I want to FINISH my work so I don’t have to work overtime. Or send someone, ANYONE to watch over me so at least I’ve got something to do. I wouldn’t mind doing ANHING. Photocopying, filing, ANYTHING.

And there’s this interesting thing that makes me wonder why people do not want to work at the management level. Non-management pay (in total) - $500,000 management pay (in total again…) – 400,000. Not too shabby right? Think again. NM CPF – 135,000 MM CPF – 160,000. And management has less than half the head count of non-management! And for the stunner, Non-management bonus – 200,000 while Management bonus – SIX HUNDRED THOUSAND! What the fuck is wrong with this world and to keep everyone happy, only the HR Director can look at management pay. They’re seriously whacked. I love this company.

I’m betting everyone’s wondering what company I’m working for. Seems pretty cool huh. They pay some 600 people one some and then some 200 people another sum. Of course all figures are un-audited just in case I say something stupid or something damn wrong that would land me in soup.

My clothes are getting tighter. This calls for some midnight supper. I mean running.
I love auditing! Shiok shiok ar auditing! Next time, I wanna audit smu, acs (i), acs(ib) and the acs with the bachelorette program thing. Acjc can suck my balls.

What’s the use of having a person’s msn if they never authorize you? it’s better than turning you down. And it’s definitely trying to avoid giving the msn.

what's with the "it's complicated". you're either single or your not. it's not complicated. it's single. linc says it means that you're either, a. together but not sure where it's going. b. not together but heading that way. c. not together but fucking like rabbits and having no intention of getting together.

and to me i just cant seem to see what's so difficult about it. if your a, then it's in a relationship. b, single. c, single and very fuckable.

on the topic of friendster, i didnt really know how people describe their interests as i never did have a friendster account because of various reasons listed below and till g decided to give or lend or loan me hers, which ever way it doesnt matter, cause i have the password and i can lock her out. haha. anyway now i'm surfing through and i am apalled at how men describle themselves... i cannot understand why any decent self loving guy would like to describe himself as single and willing to meet new girls, or interested in, Relationship Women, Dating Women, Activity Partners. okay, for the 2nd part, i went online and within 10 s i found a self deprecating man who has absolutely no sense of shame... and what the fuck is an activity partner! haha. it sounds so damn bloody fucking wrong. imagine going up to a gal and saying can u be my activity partner... friendster should really come up with better names...

another abnormality i've seen is the part where they ask you or rather, a column that says favourite books. this part confounds me... after looking at a few people's profiles, they all seem to say that singaporean men do not read anything other than magazines. and to top it off, they add a one liner that really makes me doubt their intelligence - DO MAGAZINES COUNT? you bloody fucking stupid mother fucker, it's like saying name your favourite car and you go, do motorcycles count. and even if they did. your supposed to name your favourite motorcycle and no go, i dun know anything about cars but do MotORcYcLeS count? fucking retards. TyPIng LikE ThiS DOeS NoT iN AnYWay MaKE yOu MorE InTERStinG mOTher FUCkbag.

a classic example - eNGinEeRinG UNdErgRad. you're an engineer for crying out loud. stop trying to be happening because it.is.just.not.going.to.happen.

and from the same person - i hAtE bOoks... HATe tO rEAD BUT bO bIaN.

and when asked about what kind of people he would like to meet? - i wanna mEet PpLe and FrIENds WHO I kNOw BUT haAvEn reALly met FOR quTite a LOnG TIME.... meet ppple who are NiCeE sInCeRE SweeT lOvEly OuTgOiNg fRiEnDlY aPpROacHaBlE.....

i swear, he's seriously lost and perhaps taking the question a little too literally when asked about the kind of people he wants to meet. pppppppple whom he has known but havent really met for a long time... i'm sure there's a reason why you havent met them in a long time and i'm sure that "they're just not important enough" kinda tops the list.

and upon completing the task i was tasked to do in friendster, i realised that that particular person only has 1 testimonial. so over drinks with the guys, i mentioned that that person only has 1 testimonial. to that i got this - she has no friends. uh huh. right. older woman with no friends. how cool is that. and to top it off, you don't even have a single testimonials. fucking friendless loser. right.

i worked on a saturday.

and partied till sunday 6am courtesy of hzy. but at least you paid for 15% of my sake. haha. mahjong is slowly being seen in a better light.

who ever you are, you're good...

Many many years ago when I was twenty three,
I married a fine widow as pretty as could be.
This widow had a grown-up daughter
With hair of fiery red.
My father fell in love with her,
And soon the two were wed.

This made my dad my son-in-law
And changed my very life.
My daughter was my mother,
For she was my father's wife.
And then things went from bad to worse,
Although it brought me joy,
I soon became the father
Of a bouncing baby boy.

My little baby then became
A brother-in-law to dad.
And so became my uncle,
And that made me very sad.

For if he was my uncle,
Then that also made him brother
To the widow's grown-up daughter
Who, of course, was my stepmother.

My father's wife then had a son,
Who kept them busy, on the run.
And he became my grandson,
For he was my daughter's son.

My wife is now my mother's mother
And it makes me very blue.
Because, although she is my wife,
She's my grandmother too.

If my wife is truly my grandmother,
Then I, by rights, am her grandchild.
And every time I think of it,
It simply drives me wild.

For now it seems I have become
The strangest case you ever saw.
As the husband of my grandmother,
I am my own grandpa!

shame on you lyrics by the hot hot heat.

Running with scissors wasn't smart
I tripped and cut open your heart

okay, some of the lyrics.... at least the part of the lyrics i liked the best. ahaha.

i was talking to gay salsa friend askin him out for dinner when he went




at the end of that conversation, there was 1 person who was very pleased with himself, another who was not too pleased with the other 2 and the last one who was quite rightly wrongly accused. all because of a cheap attempt to get 1 free dinner and a desire to put something interesting on this blog.

if the car keys are not at my house, you ought to get the hint that ur not supposed to use the car. and no, i do not appreciate the ransacking of my things. neither do i appreciate the constant calling. and least of all, i do not appreciate getting an sms demanding my car keys because it's my car. you did not pay for them and neither did u help me maintain it. blood means moot to me when i only see you when you're needing my parents help. and do not be shocked that my mom does not have her set of keys because there are 2 sets of keys. one is in my office and the other with me. too bad my mom's in china.

don't give me promises like only i will use it and not my son. or that i'll use it for a short while. or that i'll pay you back for the petrol used. or i'll take really good care of your car. because quite frankly, you will not. and i'm not interested in playing some cat and mouse or police and thief game where you break all the rules and i try to catch you doing so because i reckon since you'll be cheating anyway, there's really no point playing such a game with you. the odds are against me and i don't bet against myself.

so don't pretend and call me inquiring about the whereabouts of my car because it is quite frankly, outside my house. and dun pretend that you're not outside my house when you say things like i don't see your car keys and lastly, don't go and ask my mother who will ask my father to tell me to leave a set of keys in case of "special" occasions whereby you'll really need the car because you mean about as much to me as the mother fucking begger who is not in anyway disabled.

where's my mom?

my mom left for china on the 3rd of january. 2 days before she left, my dad made some potatoe soup for dinner and breakfast for the next day. today is the 6th of january and the past 2 days i noticed a funny smokey smell coming from the fridge area. i believed it was some shit caused by some stupid construction worker that was visiting my estate regularly. after lunch, i was cleaning up some shit when i noticed that the electric soup maker (is that what we call it?) was still turned on... i opened it and saw fucking the potatoe soup my dad made still inside. the carrots inside it had turned white and there was this strong musky smell quickly filling up the whole room. the chicken legs inside had also turned white. and the whole damn thing was still warm (because of the keep warm function). it was the single most gross thing i've ever seen in my life. disgusting.

thank god for the washing machine. now someone should invent something that can dry and iron my clothes automatically. and at the same thing, make it magically appear inside my cupboard. like... magic?

my dog probably hates my guts because i'm feeding her only 2 handfuls of dog food for dinner and she gets fruits courtesy of my dad in the morning. this compared to buttered bread and chicken rice at night plus cake for supper. chicken rice is not the chicken rice we know of but rather the literal meaning of the words chicken rice. boiled chicken with plain white rice sometimes with a sprinkling of dog food on top. fucking pig.

there's this big fat mosquito in my room. considering that there's no one else in the house. she must have gotten so fat from sucking my fucking bloody. and that's fucking a lot of blood. she's a sly one though, never landing on any part of my anatomy that i can see. they're always on the back, side, backside, back of the thigh and the all time worst place? the sole of my feet. FUCKER.

my uncle's being a pain. my dad told me to drive to work. and i was like WENT TO FRANCE! (wtf) are u kidding me. he quickly followed up with a, "well if ur not driving to school maybe you would like to hide ur keys or bring them with you to work..." all this to prevent my uncle from taking my car. haha. not a problem. i brought both keys with me to work. and at night when i wanted to go out, i realised i left BOTH of them in the office. WENT TO FRANCE!

hellocutesenior! on monday i'll be a happy man. at least till i finish the week and go to carrefour. lets hope carrefour is a good place to be.

i don't know where you get your information from or how you come to you conclusions but the one time i told the truth it bit me in the ass and i'm sick of it. stop painting the picture you want to see and see what is happening. i doubt you would be where you are if it weren't for my pushing and prodding.