Linc's problem:

Having too many girls to choose from, he can't make up his mind.

My problem:

Having too many girls to choose from, I can't make up their mind.

Difference:

Linc gets to choose while no one chooses me.

I've just seen the lamest nick ever.

"when sting retires, will he become stung?!"

OH MY FLAMING BALLS.

No one likes to be short-changed

least of all me.

I hate how conversations asking me whether I would like to do something turn into lopsided statements – you are becoming like X. Then why ask for my opinion. But this has nothing to do with me being short-changed. I think.

Snapping at me because although you were sick, you were still out late at night is completely not justified because you were probably still sick because you went to the beach. To sun tan but since there was no sun; you just ended up playing volley ball which is probably the lesser of the 2 evils. With a particular someone nonetheless but it was probably, believably, doubtlessly planned in advanced. But it could just be pure coincidence.

What ever.

I had something on and it just would not be right for me to expect you to stay home because it’s just not you. But I did not expect you to meet him. Or maybe I did, which was why I went out of my way to pop by your place just to say hi (more likely it was to tell myself what an idiot I was, having these groundless idiotic thoughts). Anyway, the point is I went out of my way and somehow I decided that maybe a phone call would be more in line. And you did pick it up (after countless attempts) and you were out with him.

What ever would probably be a lie because it definitely did suck. But at least you were honest.

Factoring how things took a turn for the worst after your trip up north, presumably because you were confused, I can’t help but place 1 and 1 and 1 together to draw a conclusion and it’s all beginning to make sense. At least to me it is, as senseless and groundless as it may seem.

This brings me back to my point. No one likes to be short-changed, least of all me.

and this website is really funny.

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/text/victories.html

The Perfect Woman

Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was, of course, perfect.

One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was driving their perfect car (a Grand Caravan) along a winding road, when they noticed someone at the side of the road in distress. Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help.

There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toys. Not wanting to disappoint any children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle. Soon they were driving along delivering the toys.

Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated and the perfect couple and Santa Claus had an accident. Only one of them survived the accident.

Who was the survivor? (Scroll down for the answer.)






















The perfect woman survived. She's the only one who really existed in the first place. Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and there is no such thing as a perfect man.

Women stop reading here, that is the end of the joke.

Men keep scrolling****.






















So, if there is no perfect man and no Santa Claus, the perfect woman must have been driving. This explains why there was a car accident.

By the way, if you're a woman and you're reading this, this illustrates another point: women never listen.

The Keyword is Interested!

If I could shoot one person for being the biggest idiot in the world right now. I'll shoot myself.

You obviously don't care.

And I'm starting not to care as well.

Can someone please tell me why did I take the god damn mother fucking Panadol?

Seriously. Please tell me why like now!

So much for I think I'm not allergic to Panadol

1. Playing tennis when I feel that I've got a fever coming up is most definately not a good idea.

2. Despite feeling feverish, I decided to go ahead and play tennis from 9 - 11. Some where in the back of my mind I told myself that if i sweated it out. I'll be fine.

3. I've sweated it out, had my fun and I'm so not bloody fucking fine. In fact, we went swimming after the match, NOT smart at all.

4. It was so bad, that I decided to take Panadol which I'm allergic to to bring the temperature down. Instead of taking 1, I took 2. SMART.

5. At 5pm, 3 hours after taking the Panadol, "hey mom, I don't think I'm allergic to Panadol anymore. It's not swollen. (Meaning my eye)"

6. At 7pm, I can barely open my right eye. "Mom, I think I'M STILL ALLERGIC TO PANADOL."

Some people should just know better.

While I was driving someone was knocking the roof of my car....

"hey your roof sounds hollow..."

"it's the roof. there's nothing on the other side."

"but my lexus's roof doesn't sound like this."

NW, "CAUSE THIS IS A JAPANESE CAR. NOT LIKE YOUR LEXUS."

Some people should just know better.
:)

During lunch, we had an unexpected and more importantly uninvited guest who somehow or rather imposed herself on us AFTER we had finished our lunch.

A conversation went like this.

DK "have you guys gone to Pat Pong?"

AO "yeah. go there watch thai girl show."

NW "TIGER? AS IN REAL TIGER?"

DK "yeah, like they show thai girls doing tricks with their... erm..."

NW "WHAT TRICKS? THEY TEACH THE TIGER TRICKS?"

AO "THAI GIRL. THAILAND GIRL. NOT TIGER."

No offense late bloomer.

When I was doing some readings...

Hey are u blogging more because you found out that there are other people reading your blog?

Yar.

So you’re blogging more to entertain them?

Yar.

And in the past 2 days you haven’t been blogging?

Yar.

Why?

What?

Did you even listen to what I was saying? (Giving me the Medusa stare made famous by ***)

Now I am! (At full attention)

If condoms had sponsors

Personally I love the last one. So damn bloody witty. The 2nd last one is pretty cool tool. The rest is so-so.

If you watch the anime demonbane. or rather go wiki demonbane. you'll realise that humans have mystical powers much like soccerers and they get more powerful with the help of a book. called a grimorie, which is like textbooks except they impart powers beside knowledge.

these books also have feelings and they can put forth human appearances. but why are all the books females. and 2 of the characters fall in love with their books.

and they probably end up fucking.

sick.

fucking a textbook.

Raffles Hotel?

My sister has the ability to book a room for herself in the Raffles Hotel.

She hates it that we're sharing the same room.

Today, she went, if I booked a room in the Raffles Hotel for you would you shift out?

HELL YEAH!

mom, " You dare." staring at me.

mom, "And YOU dare!" Staring at my sister.

At the ticket counter

“Hi, I’m here to collect my tickets!”

“For what show?”

“Shrek at 915.”

“Okay, can I have the booking number?”

“I don’t have the booking number, how about my IC?”

“Okay, (keys in IC number)….. Sorry, is your IC number correct?”

Repeats giving and keying in of the IC number.

“Sorry, we don’t seem to have your tickets. Where did you book them?”

“I booked GV Grand…”

“Sorry, this is GV Vivocity.”

If I wear those jeans would I look like Kate Moss?

It’s nice how everything seems better to you when it’s finally yours. Only time will tell if I appreciate it more with the passage of time. But as of now, though it’s just red. To me, it’s the bloody freaking nicest red I’ve seen in my life. Its cool how there’s a USB plug for me to play mp3s instead of playing CDs. I have yet to floor the accelerator but that’s only because it’s not advisable to do so before the 1st servicing. In 1 day, I’ve clocked 150km on it and I can only see that figure exploding once my exams end.

My dog hates it though. She hates the fact that my new baby is occupying the driveway of the house, blocking her view of the world. As narrow as it was, it’s not that it has gotten narrower now, it’s just blocked.

I want to get a spoiler but I am too lazy and stingy to go get one. Actually, it’s more stingy than lazy. If someone had a free spoiler for me, I’ll go get it fixed now. No questions asked.

I want to get side skirts and strum bars as well. An air intake seems pretty cool as well. Hell, just throw in a turbo and that’ll really make my day.

What I want most? I want it to be scratch proof. Something like the tanks in the army. Where you can try and try and try but you’ll never be able to scratch the damn mother fucker.

Bullet proofing might be cool too. I want it to be laser proof, dirt proof, and bird shit proof as well.

I also want it to be a chick magnet. But given how materialistic members of the opposite sex are now a days, that’ll be a tough one. Maybe a holographic projector would be cool. Complete with sound effects that’ll make the less than well informed woman think that she’s getting into a Lamborghini. Now, THAT will be cool. What’s cooler?

Actually owning one.

VROOM VROOM!

My sister's back from China and I am allerigc to her.

Now we're fighting over where we are going to sleep. She wants to sleep in her old room which is now my room. Her reasons for doing so?
"I can't sleep in the other room."

My reasons for sleeping in her room?
"You've got married!"
"I'm having exams!"
"I set up you frigging wireless connection for you!"
"YOU GOT MARRIED!"

Sister
"WHATEVER!"

................................................................

I've been having this mother fucking bad headache and I can't concentrate or do any work because of it. Fuck.

And I realise, I blog when I study mainly because...

I'm bored.